Gig cock-ups

[Michael MacLennan]

What's the biggest cock-up you've had, or ever heard of, on stage? (ala Spinal Tap's Stonehenge monument)

[Guest Gasss]

I was once so drunk playing a gig on the Isle of Skye that I knocked the keyboard players amp over not once but three times. I played the last few songs of the set on my knees.

[Metal_Hamster]

Does falling off the drumstool drunk in the middle of a song count?!?! lol

[Guest MDP]

best onstage cockup i've ever witnessed wasnt really onstage but off-stage. a band at kef (no idea who) were just finnishing, and the singer decided to try and crowdsurf, well... everyone moved out of his way and the floor broke his nose.

[Guest Jake Wifebeater]

Nastiest one I ever saw was the Fighting Shit gig. First song in, they're jumping like demented Jacks-in-boxes, and the vocalist got whacked, I mean really clunged big-time, with the head of the bass. He recovered and they finished off a blinding set.

SPD have had a few fuck-ups, all of them involving Baldy either getting munted on absinthe and being incapable of shutting the fuck up while I'm trying to introduce the next "song", or him simply forgetting how the "song" goes. My only fuck-up (I think), was banging the mike off my gob and spitting blood for a few minutes. The mask should stop that happening from now on.

[Dan G]

The first time we played the SECC, we'd just finished our set and were unloading our gear off stage. I was carrying my brand new Diezel amp (which had just finished it's first gig, and weighs about 6 stone) and fell offstage holding it. The stage is about 6 - 7 feet high, and I fell straight on to my back with my amp head landing on my chest, before it bounced off me and onto the floor.

I had minor shock but VERY fortunately no broken bones, although I was shitting myself that my amp was gonna be fucked - which luckily it wasn't. I didn't feel any real pain though until after about 20 minutes when the adrenaline wore off. Then it started to hurt pretty badly. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the rest of the night that much.

Other than that, the most comical thing i can remember was the last date of the Aconite Thrill, Cryforsilence, MMw tour in Cardiff.

Basically through all the bands sets, each band drank Jagermeister on stage with whoever was playing at the time, and then ended up throwing stuff at the band that was then playing. This started off with bananas, but ended up with beer/crisps/apples/cardboard boxes etc etc. When aconite thrill eventually took to the stage, the stage itself was a crisp-y and beer-y slippery mess and they got bombarded with everything at the cryforsilence/mmw disposal for the entire duration of their set. The place was ruined.

[Guest DustyDeviada]

I forgot to put a capo on my guitar one time when we were playing at The Tunnels. I was starting the tune, so started playing in G. The rest of the band then came in in G#, as per usual. I quickly realised my mistake and started playing in G# instead... just as the rest of the band realised what i'd done and started playing in G.

We decided it was best to start again at that point. Fortunately there were very few people at the gig, Hog was there though.

[Guest bluesxman]

On Saturday at The Moorings my snare lever decided to click off for some reason part way through our first tune. Not sure why, reckon it had been bashed to 'almost off' position during mic set up and vibration tipped it over the edge. Thought the snare wire had broken again as per 2 gigs ago initially. Note to self - always check lever in future before starting.

Pretty boring cock up compared to an amp falling on you I guess....

[Chris]

On Saturday at The Moorings my snare lever decided to click off for some reason part way through our first tune. Not sure why, reckon it had been bashed to 'almost off' position during mic set up and vibration tipped it over the edge. Thought the snare wire had broken again as per 2 gigs ago initially. Note to self - always check lever in future before starting.

Pretty boring cock up compared to an amp falling on you I guess....

Boring, but I was wondering why the rolls at the end of the intro sounded un-snare like. Now I know.

[Sam 45]

The first time we played the SECC, we'd just finished our set and were unloading our gear off stage. I was carrying my brand new Diezel amp (which had just finished it's first gig, and weighs about 6 stone) and fell offstage holding it. The stage is about 6 - 7 feet high, and I fell straight on to my back with my amp head landing on my chest, before it bounced off me and onto the floor.

I had minor shock but VERY fortunately no broken bones, although I was shitting myself that my amp was gonna be fucked - which luckily it wasn't. I didn't feel any real pain though until after about 20 minutes when the adrenaline wore off. Then it started to hurt pretty badly. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the rest of the night that much.

Other than that, the most comical thing i can remember was the last date of the Aconite Thrill, Cryforsilence, MMw tour in Cardiff.

Basically through all the bands sets, each band drank Jagermeister on stage with whoever was playing at the time, and then ended up throwing stuff at the band that was then playing. This started off with bananas, but ended up with beer/crisps/apples/cardboard boxes etc etc. When aconite thrill eventually took to the stage, the stage itself was a crisp-y and beer-y slippery mess and they got bombarded with everything at the cryforsilence/mmw disposal for the entire duration of their set. The place was ruined.

Good story.

[Teabags]

Birthday gig at Moorings. Fell asleep on stage in the middle of Filthpact's set, naked, witha pint glass stuck to my ass.

Woke up several times but could not lift my guitar, so went back to sleep.

[Alan Cynic]

We decided it was best to start again at that point. Fortunately there were very few people at the gig, Hog was there though.

Are you implying that Hog scared away your audience?o_O

[stuartmaxwell]

i got really drunk (really quickly), played a shambles of a set and threw a guitar at the drummer in glasgow

any time i played with the butchers, esp that last time

anytime me and teabags had an idea of playing an improv inshallah set

i (and quite possibly a monitor) fell off of the stage at gavfest 2 when playing with masamune, i believe al did something similar in the same set. i remember very little of that set except that being on the grass bit

by accident I kicked a bottle of water in edinburgh student union and soaked some twats.

[Camie]

On our way to a gig in Elgin we all decided that Olde English would make our trip nicer and well with bottle or so in me, i lost balance in the opening song and fell into the drum kit.

Fortunately i recovered fast and was able to shake off the fact I made a complete tit of myself.

[flossie suvara]

Far far too many to list here, but I think the majority of them can be found here

The Lorelei

Regards

Flossie

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

I don't recommend drinking for 6 hours before going on stage, it some what impairs your ability to play, which Port of Saints found out many moons ago when we played Drummonds. Impromtu Led Zeppelin covers taking the piss out of the previous band are not a good idea.

Most of my gig mishaps are down to tempremental effects pedals deciding to have hissy fits on stage, resulting in a "SSSSSSSsshhSHHHHHHHSHCCCKKKKSSSHHHH" noise emanating from my amp. Of course, you can most likely witness this on Saturday night where I have a choice of 3 pedals to spit their dummy out, odds on being my 70's EH Memory Man...

[Guest DustyDeviada]

Are you implying that Hog scared away your audience?o_O

No, we were quite capable of doing that on our own.

[Hog]

Lol, that was the first one that came into my head! Dusty's face when he couldnt work out why he was so out of tune!

Personally, playing with Spike at the Moorings and taking the piss out of 5 finger discount (sorry guys), couldnt work out why my guitar wasnt working (well if its unplugged that is a good sign), forgetting songs, too much absinthe.

[HairyScaryMark]

Strictly speaking not a cock up as such.

I once played with a drummer who turned up to a gig wearing a burberry cap. He was being serious. I don't think anyone else in the band knew he owned a burberry cap. Last gig I ever played with them.

At that same gig I had my volume control turned down on my guitar, just about to nothing and didn't notice due to the amp being really loud. Was quite confused still when I stopped making noise at one point.

Really dreading using a laptop in a live situation. One synth I have keeps changing to preset number 1 (which is monophonic) during a pad sound, randomly. Haven't worked out why yet.

Can just imagine this...... Forget to plug it into mains, battery runs out in the middle of a song. Norton Anti virus opens and scans the computer for viruses in the middle of another song. Then an alert appears warning about something wrong with windows making a large pining type sound which is projected through the PA system. Then, the blue screen of death.

[Old Gold]

What a great anecdote.

[HateEvent]

Stomping on my Noise Suppresor to engage it for one bit of one of our songs when I stop and Hog does the riff himself. I thought it was working better than usual as I wasn't getting ANY hum or anything

Only noticed once I was meant to come back in that when I stomped the pedal, I kicked a lead out of it.

Any other pedal and I would have noticed!

[the mart of darkness]

fun.

i have a lead breaking/volume control/lead pulling out/accidentally standing on footswitch type incident at every gig i think. but that's because i'm a cock.

off the top of my head, some other vaguely amusing incidents related to me being a cock:

• falling through a hole in the middle of the stage, up to my chest, mid-choon. i did not look cool.
  
• dropping a mic, prompting the sound engineer to charge onstage and lamp me several times about the chops, before being rescued by our drummer leaping over the kit and laying into the engineer, all while i stood, stunned, doing nothing.
  
• stumbling into my amp and knocking the head backwards off the cab, damaging it somewhat. only it wasn't my amp, it belonged to the headliners. i later sent them a cheque.
  
• falling off the front of the stage at kef/lava/glow/whatever, with my foot tangled in monitor leads, dragging the monitor off the stage with me. i sensed the bouncer wasn't amused by the way in which he manoeuvred me over the barrier onto the dancefloor.
  
• throwing myself offstage at the end of the set, landing on some kid's leg, and then the rest of the audience jumped on top of me. he screamed in considerable pain, and we very nearly broke his leg.
  
• droppping my guitar to the stage (from waist height) in a slightly tame display of rock and roll abandon. only i missed the edge of the stage and it dropped a further 5 feet to the floor. i thought it was ok until i picked it up by the body, and the neck remained where it was.
  
• smashing up two perfectly good guitars in a genuine fury, because i thought they were fucked. turned out the amp i was using was overheating and cutting out. duh.
  
• buying a new (but cheap) guitar the day of a gig. 3 songs in to the set, one of the strap buttons falls out, and the guitar tumbles to the floor, fucking the neck. the bastard.
  

i'm pretty sure i was sober when most of this nonsense took place.

xxx

[Stephen]

fun.

i have a lead breaking/volume control/lead pulling out/accidentally standing on footswitch type incident at every gig i think. but that's because i'm a cock.

off the top of my head, some other vaguely amusing incidents related to me being a cock:

• falling through a hole in the middle of the stage, up to my chest, mid-choon. i did not look cool.
  
• dropping a mic, prompting the sound engineer to charge onstage and lamp me several times about the chops, before being rescued by our drummer leaping over the kit and laying into the engineer, all while i stood, stunned, doing nothing.
  
• stumbling into my amp and knocking the head backwards off the cab, damaging it somewhat. only it wasn't my amp, it belonged to the headliners. i later sent them a cheque.
  
• falling off the front of the stage at kef/lava/glow/whatever, with my foot tangled in monitor leads, dragging the monitor off the stage with me. i sensed the bouncer wasn't amused by the way in which he manoeuvred me over the barrier onto the dancefloor.
  
• throwing myself offstage at the end of the set, landing on some kid's leg, and then the rest of the audience jumped on top of me. he screamed in considerable pain, and we very nearly broke his leg.
  
• droppping my guitar to the stage (from waist height) in a slightly tame display of rock and roll abandon. only i missed the edge of the stage and it dropped a further 5 feet to the floor. i thought it was ok until i picked it up by the body, and the neck remained where it was.
  
• smashing up two perfectly good guitars in a genuine fury, because i thought they were fucked. turned out the amp i was using was overheating and cutting out. duh.
  
• buying a new (but cheap) guitar the day of a gig. 3 songs in to the set, one of the strap buttons falls out, and the guitar tumbles to the floor, fucking the neck. the bastard.
  

i'm pretty sure i was sober when most of this nonsense took place.

xxx

that one in bold was trangression, aconite thrill, days in december & wbl at drakes. remember it well due to a piece of wood from one of the guitars cannoned off the floor and nearly had my eye out. jesus. good gig all the same

[black_matter]

a mic falling over due to me whacking it in a crazy guitar solo but it was quickly rectified.

[The Kernel Loaf]

I still don't think anyone will beat this: