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Paulscoconutass

Christmas tune.

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That's us perfected our very own festive tune, It's about Suntee and how he loves getting lap dances from midgets when they're not working in his factory, lyrics go like this.

Came home from an all-day shift, with just one thing on my mind,

to see my favourite Ho Ho Ho and make love to her behind,

but when I walked in through my door, I wasn't too surprised

to find that she was having none of it - another night deprived!

I spent all night stuck up chimneys, then come home to a stuck-up wife,

Fuck this, I'm off to Lapland, to have the best night of my life!

Chorus:

'Cause, being ol' St Nicholas, it's really not that great,

Every time my wife says 'NO' I'm forced to masturbate

So now I'm off to Lapland, to have the best night of my life,

and if you're under 2 foot tall I'll buy a dance from you tonight

I walk into the 'Stinky Elf', for men who like their midgets,

I scan the room, excitement shows in all eleven digits,

So many elves - so little time, I've got to choose today,

If the price is right and she looks alright I'll slay her in my sleigh.

Then I see my little Ms Perfect, her baubles are divine,

For twenty Euros and a Barbie doll, she was mine!

She took me to a private booth and danced for a minute or five,

then demanded a Robosapien, to keep my dream alive.

By now my sacks were empty, and I didn't have to pay,

I pulled up my pants, stuck up my V's and Jingled all the way!

We'll be playing this bad boy in its full glory at Saturday's Lemon Tree gig.

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This choon got the biggest cheer of our whole set! Fucking Yaldy, it's already the new chewbacca. YAY

So it'll be the last time you ever play it then aye? ^_'

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