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Guest Tam o' Shantie

Fat Harry White

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Guest Tam o' Shantie

anybody remember this amazing sketch on Mark & Lard on radio 1? Back when I was a schoolboy, this show was always tuned into on the bus home. I loved the banter, and FHW's section was hilarious. I read a few transcripts of the narrative that 'Harry' (just mark radcliffe with a pitch shifter to make his voice sond like barry white) used to blurt out. The innuendo is so lewd that I literally cannot believe it was allowed to play. Every line is laced with lines that would make Dustin Diamond blush. I also found out this evening that a CD was released back in the 90s solely with this material on it?! seems to have been deleted, but has anyone heard it? right i'm off out now.

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Guest Tam o' Shantie

Sample narrative:

"You know, Fat Larry and meself went to Alton Towers on the weekend, y'know that theme park. We had a great time. I went on the Corkscrew, you know , the one that goes 'round and 'round. Well after I had screwed a few times..my head..was spinning. It was only a quick ride. But very satisfying, mm baby. Well, due to my large girth I had a bit of trouble getting out of the ride so this fine, sexy, lady attendant came over and offered to help me out. Well... after a quick tug she relieved my discomfort, and said she'd never seen someone wedged in so tight.

After a while I thought I'd try out that new ride, you know, The Oblivion thingy, that one with that big drop into that tunnel. I made my way over to it and who should I meet but this young lady who designed that dark, tunnel bit. She offered to take me for a ride, and I could not refuse. Well, my knees were trembling as we climbed to the very peak of the ride. As we reached the climax I was so excited I stood up, erect and as we went down I banged my head hard on the front of her tunnel. Needless to say she went crazy. Mmm, yeah.

Well, after that I was a bit hungry so it was quite lucky that I met up with Fat Larry who had been over at the Petting Zoo. And, oh, he's so sweet, he bought me a candy floss. After all those rides I was a bit shaky so I asked him to hold it for me whilst I bit down on his stick. Well, you can guess what happened, yeah, I got this sticky stuff all over my face. He asked me if I wanted a Kleenex, but I said no, I'll just lick it off and swallow it.

Now, it was getting late and you know that Swan Ride thing that you pass on your way out? Well I decided to have a quick one before leaving. So I climbed into this bird and, you know, it was SO huge it could fit two people in so I asked Fat Harry if he wanted to jump in with me. Well, he doesn't need to be told twice if you know what I mean. He was in there quick as a flash. The bird bobbed up and down for a while until we were fully satisified and decided to leave.

Just as we left there was this nice young man by the gates handing out these re-entry passes. He asked us if we'd like to come again, but we declined saying that we had enough excitement for one day.

And that's the story of the fun day out that me and Fat Larry had on our day out at Alton Towers."

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yes

there's nae enough o this thing nooadays, I was a guest on tug of peace and you can bet your bolt I livened up the proceedings a treat, it was great, and they even sent me a signed photo and some record vouchers as thanks, top blokes, bring back The Shire horses,oo arrr

Wessst countryy boyyy

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I loved the complete and utter distain they had for radio one's playlist, they had the balls to take the piss out of the station they were on, like when they played the Sugababes five times in a row just to see if anyone noticed.

Radio One's Djs are too safe, like Jo Whiley, whose opinions on her four music show were complete polar oposites to those on her show about tracks she was told to play. I swear shes getting worse.

Mark and Lard got me through the second half of highschool and weirdly enough i found out about the whole september eleventh thing and heard it unfold on their show, which led me to think at first that it was a pisstake.

They were ace. Weird sense of humour and format but they were really into their music. I found a fan site which had links selling the album once but that was about five years ago. Fuck I'm old.

Stop.........

.....Carry on!

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'l tell you what............................

Yup. Fat Harry was a legend. I managed to get the cd from fopp many moons ago for something like 3 quid. Fat Harry was always a fave of mine. I remember doing overtime in Asda back in my younger days and everyone would go to the warehouse at the back of 3pm to listen to the radio, as it was always Fat Harry time. The innuendos were very near the knuckle but he would always cover it up by saying 'Just Public Service'.

Bring it back!

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EEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I'll tell you what!

Simply the best radio show of all time.

It was a winner as he'd always play one of the three records off the Radio One playlist Mark & Lard got every day and give it an amusing name, like "That was my very special decorating chums there - Near A Van, with Smells Like White Spirit."

The one where he worked in the tobacconists was amzingly close to the bone when the Vicar's wife came in and Harry gave her "his finest shag!" He sometimes descended into an almost Saville - esque "ohohohohohohohoh!!"

It got somehwat sanitised towards the end when Mark had to state it was some "anecdotal storytelling" but was nevertheless amazing!

Craig - it's time to seek out the amazing tape you made up crammed full of Fat Harry classics! I may have it in a black bag somewhere, but moving house twice dosen't help in finding stuff like this!

There used to be a cracking website with loads of Fat Harry & Fat Lazz, but it's no longer around - boo!

Anyone interested in this type of humour who has Sky TV should set the video tonight for Frank Sidebottom's Proper telly Show at 10:00pm on Channel M (number 202, I think.) It's the closet you get to old school Mark 'n' Lard type humour. Oh it is. Yes it really is. Thank you.

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i was thinking about them last week and reading wome stuff on wikipedia. exxcellent banter. the 'stop.....carry on' and 'chalk and cheese' chat was a staple during my time at school. awesome!

/x

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Guest DustyDeviada

I think I hired the album out of the Central Library in about 1999 if memory serves. maybe they still have it.

As for Mark & Lard... "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?"

"Mustn't grumble" etc etc.

Used to love that show.

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