To be a true goff...

[Hog]

You have to wear a long leather coat.

[Diesel]

Goths

You have to listen to dirge-like tuneless pish, sung by some full-of-himself tosser dressed (of course) in black, "singing" doom & gloom lyrics full of Jungian references that neither the band or the audience understand - even though they pretend to - in an indecipherable baritone droning voice.

Moreover, you have to pretend that you love the music, even though you really want to listen to something more upbeat. That's why Goths are so miserable all the time. It's a scientfic fact - proven at the University of Smartcunt in Minnesota where they did all sorts of experiments on Goths in an attempt to get the miserable bastards to smile at least once.

...needless to say the experiment was a complete failure.

DZL

Ps - Girls, if you're hell-bent on being a Goth, it helps if you are "tidy", 'cause being a "boiler" just doesn't cut it. High cheekbones and a long face are an advantage, a "puddin'-like" coupon, most definitely not.

e.g - Liv Tyler/Souixsie=Good, Jade Goody/Michelle McManus=Bad

[nullmouse]

ELIZIUM - this Saturday at The Pelican, Market Street. 10.30pm till 3am.

Upsetting goths since 1996.

It's our Super Doomsday Megafun Special. F*ck knows what that means.

[Spoonie]

Ps - Girls' date=' if you're hell-bent on being a Goth, it helps if you are "tidy", 'cause being a "boiler" just doesn't cut it. High cheekbones and a long face are an advantage, a "puddin'-like" coupon, most definitely not.

e.g - Liv Tyler/Souixsie=Good, Jade Goody/Michelle McManus=Bad[/quote']

it's funny because it's true

/x