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The true you!!


Benji
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I got this through an Email, and thought I'd share it.. I hope it hasnae been done before.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18]

You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie

a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and

impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone

thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by

the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence over you friends and people

resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are

generally a coward.

Pisces people screw small animals and pick their nose a lot.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick

tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and

work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You

are nothing but a goddamn Communist.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are a

bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little.

This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini are notorious for thriving on

incest.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They

think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why

you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

ou consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most

Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism.

Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss

mirrors a lot.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is

sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall

asleep while screwing. Virgos make good bus drivers or pimps.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are

a male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary

gain are excellent. Most Libra women are whores. All Librae die of venereal

disease.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the

pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a

perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio are murdered.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you

have no talent. The majority of Sagittarii are drunks or pot heads.

People laugh at you a lot because you are always getting fucked.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a

chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You

should kill yourself.

I'm a Scorpio! :down:

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Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a

chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You

should kill yourself.

Shit!

If im scared of taking risks i cant attempt suicide. What if i failed?

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Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you

have no talent. The majority of Sagittarii are drunks or pot heads.

People laugh at you a lot because you are always getting fucked.

Apart from the first sentence, which is way off the mark, the rest is spookily accurate.

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I'm cancer - It says I'll always be on benefits and will never be worth a shit - Ain't true, I've been in continuous employment since I left home when was 16. I've never had to scrounge!

I do spend all my time trying to help out other folk - and they probably think I'm a mug for it right enough - but It's just because I've been in situations I never could of got out of on my own and I've always had someone there to help me (sometimes complete strangers) - so I feel I owe something.

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Guest bluesxman
Leo (July 23 - August 22)

ou consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most

Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism.

Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss

mirrors a lot.

Aye, i'm pretty vain about my baldy heed and beer gut.....I am however a born leader....

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Guest Jake Wifebeater

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is

sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall

asleep while screwing. Virgos make good bus drivers or pimps.

Yak, that'll do nicely.

The first sentence is actually bang on, I'm a bit OCD in terms of orderliness, I hate people who live like shit. I'm one of the most typical Virgoans there are.

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Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you

have no talent. The majority of Sagittarii are drunks or pot heads.

People laugh at you a lot because you are always getting fucked.

Replace no talent with never applying it and that's me to a tee.

Although you could randomly pick any of the 12 and see it applying to you.

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