Benji Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 If Men Really RuledAny fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out wearing cheer-leader outfits.Women's perfume would come in Curry & beer scent only."Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable excuse for missing birthdays, and other important women dates.Instead of us men having to work, it would be law that women did it, and if they moaned; they got subjected to Mud wrestling fights with other rebels.Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years, and it would be renamed to 'Sorry, I forgot Day'.St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month, and New year every 2 months.The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.The only show opposite Match of the Day would be Top Gear or Match of the Day from a Different Camera Angle.It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. Such as:Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."Cop: "Nice one. That will save you $10."The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.Going shopping would be banned, and replaced with the more logical.. Shout from your window for stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psydoll Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red' date=' 40-foot thong.Going shopping would be banned, and replaced with the more logical.. Shout from your window for stuff.[/quote']Now see when I see 'Statue Of' and 'would be banned' in the same post I get excited but so far it has ended in disappointment... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji Posted January 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Let me know how that works out for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bass Cadet Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Am I the only one that finds the fact that Bux would like his girl to stench of curry and beer, a bit strange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Getting hammered and missing your girlfriend birthday just means youre an utter cock.Ho ho ho..not at all,. you were just celebrating early so as to not be late! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bass Cadet Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Getting hammered and missing your girlfriend birthday just means you’re an utter cock.Ho ho ho.I must agree. If her birthday was important to her and you didn't care enough to be part of it, I think you should take look at your relationship - It must be shit. You can get pissed any day but someone's birthday is only once a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcadian Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I liked this one "The only show opposite Match of the Day would be Top Gear or Match of the Day from a Different Camera Angle.".... but then it'd mean I'd miss either Top Gear or Motd! Not good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 If Men Really RuledWomen's perfume would come in Curry & beer scent only.why the hell would i want my girlfriend to smell like curry and beer? that would be horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripey Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 yeh I think this only applies if you are the kind of guy who buys Nuts magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryn Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 You can get pissed any day but someone's birthday is only once a yearGod thats profound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Seconding the curry and beer thing. If a girl smelled like this, she would be the worst girl ever. Seriously. Who made up this list? They should be shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryn Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Seconding the curry and beer thing. If a girl smelled like this' date=' she would be the worst girl ever. Seriously. Who made up this list? They should be shot.[/quote']Its quite a simple joke - using male cliches to play on the dull-wit of people like you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraemeC Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 Would it be an idea to ban these fuckin awful cut and paste posts.....in particular the American ones and the ones that dont even border on funny...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 Its quite a simple joke - using male cliches to play on the dull-wit of people like you.I bet you cracked a huge boner after posting this. (assuming you are a guy)Would it be an idea to ban these fuckin awful cut and paste posts.....in particular the American ones and the ones that dont even border on funny......YES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToasterCoaster Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 Would it be an idea to ban these fuckin awful cut and paste posts.....in particular the American ones and the ones that dont even border on funny......I love how you can spot the fat old guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bluesxman Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 I actually found that hilarious because... it's true.Oh look... there's a 18 year old girl with over-plucked eyebrows and orange tits on one page... and football on another. Boost.*shakes head*Sometimes they save space by having girls with tits that look like footballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 This thread has taken a turn for the hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 I bought nuts the other week, tits and football. whats your problem caller?! most womens magazines have fashion and shopping. Guys magazines have tits, football and gadgetry.... very satisfying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bass Cadet Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 I bought nuts the other week' date=' tits and football. whats your problem caller?! most womens magazines have fashion and shopping. Guys magazines have tits, football and gadgetry.... very satisfying.[/quote']I read More - It's got a section comprising all the idiocies that have been in blokes magazines - lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 i think it could be Zoo that has a section where you write in with 'what your girlfriend said during football'. A few gems have been "why is that guy in black, did he not get picked for a team?"; "Handball!!" (keeper)at least they try!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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