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Celebrity Names Suck


Guest pop-notmyface

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Guest pop-notmyface

okay, guess what scabby little "celebrity" loser hides behind the following names:

(and no google cheating please, but most of these are people from bands)

Frederick Austerlitz

Richard Starkey

Steveland Judkins

Vincent Furnier

Marvin Lee Adair

Orville Richard Burrell

Robert Zimmerman

William Henry Pratt

Chaim Witz

Declan McManus

(these names are not 100% verified, but should be close)

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A

Alan Alda = Alphonso D'Abruzzo

Woody Allen = Allen Konigsberg

Muhammad Ali = Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr.

Julie Andrews = Julia Elizabeth Wells

Fred Astaire = Frederick Austerlitz

Chet Atkins = Chester B. Atkins

Frankie Avalon = Francis Thomas Avalonne

B

Lauren Bacall = Betty Joan Perske

Anne Bancroft = Anna Maria Italiano

Brigitte Bardot = Camille Javal

Pat Benatar = Patricia Andrejewski

Tony Bennett = Anthony Benedetto

Jack Benny = Benjamin Kubelsky

Tom Berenger = Thomas Michael Moore

Chuck Berry = Charles Edward Anderson Berry

Billy The Kid = William H. Bonney

Robert Blake = Michael Gubitosi

Jon Bon Jovi = John Francis Bongiovi

Bono (U2) = Paul Hewson

Sonny Bono = Salvatore Phillip Bono

David Bowie = David Robert Jones

Boy George = George Alan O'Dowd

Charles Bronson = Charles Buchinski

Albert Brooks = Albert Einstein

Mel Brooks = Melvin Kaminsky

George Burns = Nathan Birnbaum

Ellen Burstyn = Edna Gilhooley

Richard Burton = Richard Jenkins

C

Nicholas Cage = Nicholas Coppola

Michael Cain = Maurice Micklewhite

Maria Callas = Maria Kalogeropoulos

Eric Carr (Kiss) - Paul Charles Caravello

Vikki Carr = Florencia Casillas

Ray Charles = Ray Charles Robinson

Chubby Checker = Ernest Evans

Cher = Cherilyn Sarkisian

Eric Clapton - Eric Patrick Clapp

Patsy Cline = Virginia Patterson Hensley

Claudette Colbert = Lily Chauchoin

Nat King Cole = Nathaniel Adams Coles

Chuck Connors = Kevin Joseph Connors

Robert Conrad = Conrad Robert Falk

Alice Cooper = Vincent Furnier

Gary Cooper = Frank James Cooper

David Copperfield = David Kotkin

Howard Cosell = Howard Cohen

Elvis Costello = Declan Patrick McManus

Lou Costello = Louis Cristillo

Joan Crawford = Lucille Le Sueur

Michael Crawford = Michael Dumble-Smith

Bing Crosby = Harry Lillis Crosby

Tom Cruise = Thomas Cruise Mapother IV

Tony Curtis = Bernard Schwartz

D

Rodney Dangerfield = Jacob Cohen

Bobby Darin = Walden Waldo Robert Cassotto

John Denver = John Henry Deutschendorf

Donovan = Donovan Phillip Leitch

Doris Day = Doris von Kappelhoff

James Dean = James Byron

John Denver = Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.

Bo Derek = Mary Cathleen Collins

Danny DeVito = Daniel Michaeli

Angie Dickinson = Angeline Brown

Bo Diddley = Otha Elias Bates McDaniel

Vin Diesel = Mark Vincent

Phyllis Diller = Phyllis Driver

Fats Domino = Antoine Domino

Kirk Douglas = Issur Danielovitch

Bob Dylan = Robert Zimmerman

E

Sheena Easton = Sheena Shirley Orr

The Edge (U2) = David Howell Evans

Elvira = Cassandra Paterson

Eminem - Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Enya = Eithne Ni Bhraonain

David Essex = David Albert Cook

F

Morgan Fairchild = Patsy McClenny

Adam Faith = Terence Nelhams

Fatboy Slim = Quentin Cook (aka Norman Cook)

Sally Field = Sally Mahoney

W.C. Fields = William Claude Dukenfield

Jodie Foster = Alicia Christian Foster

Michael J. Fox = Michael Andrew Fox

Connie Francis = Concetta Rosa Maria Franconero

Billy Fury = Ronald Wycherley

G

Greta Garbo = Greta Gustafsson

Judy Garland = Frances Gumm

James Garner = James Bumgarner

Crystal Gayle = Brenda Gayle Webb

Bobbie Gentry = Roberta Streeter

Kathie Lee Gifford = Kathie Epstein

Whoopie Goldberg = Caryn Johnson

Cary Grant = Archibald Leach

H

Hammer = Stanley Kirk Burrell

Laurence Harvey = Laruschka Skikne

Rita Hayworth = Margarita Cansino

Jimi Hendrix = Johnny Allen Hendrix

Pee-Wee Herman = Paul Reubenfeld

Barbara Hershey = Barbara Herzstine

Hulk Hogan = Terry Gene Bollea

Billie Holliday = Eleanora Fagan

Buddy Holly = Charles Hardin Holley

Bob Hope = Leslie Townes Hope

Harry Houdini = Ehrich Weiss

Rock Hudson = Roy Scherer Jr.

Engelbert Humperdinck = Arnold George Dorsey

I

Janis Ian = Janis Eddy Fink

Ice Cube = Oshea Jackson

Ice-T = Tracy Morrow

Billy Idol = William Broad

Iggy Pop = James Jewell Osterberg, Jr.

Burl Ives = Burle Icle Ivanhoe

J

David Janssen = David Meyer

Elton John = Reginald Dwight

Don Johnson = Donald Wayne

Al Jolson = Asa Yoelson

Brian Jones (Rolling Stones) = Lewis Brian Hopkins-Jones

Jenny Jones = Janina Stranski

Tom Jones = Thomas Woodward

Wynonna Judd = Christina Ciminella

K

Boris Karloff = William Henry Pratt

Danny Kaye = David Kaminsky

Diane Keaton = Diane Hall

Michael Keaton = Michael Douglas

Chaka Khan = Carole Yvette Marie Stevens

Carole King = Carole Klein

Larry King = Larry Zeigler

Ben Kingsley = Krishna Banji

Nastassja Kinski = Nastassja Naksyznyski

Billy J Kramer (The Dakotas) = William H Ashton

Kris Kristofferson = Kris Carson

L

Cheryl Ladd = Cheryl Stoppelmoor

Veronica Lake = Constance Ockleman

Dorothy Lamour = Mary Kaumeyer

Michael Landon = Eugene Orowitz

Mario Lanza = Alfredo Arnold Cocozza

Queen Latifah = Dana Owens

Stan Laurel = Arthur Jefferson

Steve Lawrence = Sidney Leibowitz

Brenda Lee = Brenda Mae Tarpley

Bruce Lee = Lee Yuen Kam

Spike Lee = Shelton Jackson Lee

Jay Leno = James Douglas Muir Leno

Huey Lewis = Hugh Cregg

Jerry Lewis = Joseph Levitch

Liberace = Wladziu Lee Valentino

Jack Lord = John Joseph Ryan

Sophia Loren = Sophia Scicoloni

Peter Lorre = Laszio Lowenstein

Courtney Love = Michelle Harrison

Bela Lugosi = Bela Ferenc Blasko

Lulu = Marie Lawrie

M

Shirley MacLaine = Shirley Beaty

Elle MacPherson = Eleanor Gow

Madonna = Madonna Louise Ciccone

Lee Majors = Harvey Lee Yeary II

Karl Malden = Mladen Sekulovich

Mama Cass Elliot (Mamas & Papas) = Ellen Naomi Cohen

Manfred Mann = Manfred Lubowitz

Barry Manilow = Barry Alan Pincus

Jayne Mansfield = Vera Jane Palmer

Marilyn Manson = Brian Warner

Walter Matthau = Walter Matuschanskayasky

Dean Martin = Dino Crocetti

Groucho Marx = Julius Henry Marx

Meat Loaf = Marvin Lee Aday

Freddie Mercury (Queen) = Frederick Farookh Bulsara

Ethel Merman = Ethel Zimmerman

George Michael = Georgios Panayiotou

Joni Mitchell = Roberta Joan Anderson

Moby = Richard Melville Hall

Marilyn Monroe = Norma Jean Mortenson (later Baker)

Demi Moore = Demetria Guynes

Rita Moreno = Rosita Alverio

Harry Morgan = Harry Bratsburg

N

Chuck Norris = Carlos Ray

Andre Norton = Mary Alice Norton

Notorious B.I.G. = Christopher Wallace

O

Ozzy Osbourne = John Michael Osbourne

P

Jack Palance = Walter Palanuik

Bernadette Peters = Bernadette Lazzaro

Edith Piaf = Edith Giovanna Gassion

Slim Pickens = Louis Lindley

Mary Pickford = Gladys Smith

Stephanie Powers = Stefania Federkiewicz

Prince = Prince Rogers Nelson

R

Tony Randall = Leonard Rosenberg

Johnnie Ray = John Alvin

Donna Reed = Donna Belle Mullenger

Della Reese = Delloreese Patricia Early

Cliff Richard = Harry Rodger Webb

Joan Rivers = Joan Sandra Molinsky

Edward G. Robinson = Emmanuel Goldenberg

Sugar Ray Robinson = Walker Smith, Jr.

Ginger Rogers = Virginia McMath

Mickey Rooney = Joe Yule Jr.

Axl Rose (Guns N Roses) = William Bruce Rose

Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) = John Lydon

Winona Ryder = Winona Horowitz

S

Susan Sarandon = Susan Tomaling

Telly Savalas = Aristotle Savalas

Jane Seymour = Joyce Frankenberg

Del Shannon = Charles Weedon Westover

Omar Sharif = Michael Shalhoub

Charlie Sheen = Carlos Irwin Estevez

Martin Sheen = Ramon Estevez

Talia Shire = Talia Coppola

Sinbad = David Atkins

Eric Singer (Kiss) = Eric Mensinger

Slash = Saul Hudson

Slim Dusty = David Gordon Kirkpatrick

Dusty Springfield = Mary Isobel Catherine O'Brien

Suzanne Somers = Suzanne Mahoney

Robert Stack = Robert Modini

Barbara Stanwyck = Ruby Stevens

Sylvester Stallone = Michael Sylvester Enzio Stallone

Ringo Starr = Richard Starkey

Cat Stevens = Yusef Islam

Connie Stevens = Concetta Ingolia

Sting = Gordon Sumner

Donna Summer = La Donna Gaines

T

Mr. T = Lawrence Tero

Robert Taylor = Spangler Arlington Brugh

Danny Thomas = Muzyad Yakhoob

Tiny Tim = Herbert Khaury

Rip Torn = Elmore Rual Torn Jr.

Randy Travis = Randy Traywick

Sophie Tucker = Sophia Kalish

Tina Turner = Annie Mae Bullock

Mark Twain = Samuel Langhorne Clemens

Twiggy = Leslie Hornby

U

The Undertaker = Mark Calloway

V

Rudolph Valentino = Rudolpho D'Antonguolla

Frankie Valli (Four Seasons) = Frank Castelluccio

Sid Vicious = John Simon Ritchie

W

John Wayne = Marion Morrison

Sigourney Weaver = Susan Alexandra Weaver

Raquel Welch = Raquel Tejada

Gene Wilder = Jerome Silberman

Shelley Winters = Shirley Schrift

Stevie Wonder = Stevland Morris

Natalie Wood = Natasha Gurdin

Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones) = William Perks

Tammy Wynette = Wynette Pugh

Check Nion every actors name i mean pointless or what look at Michael J. Fox = Michael Andrew Fox

Btw did you realise why actors and generaly famous people originaly changed there names wasnt for a name with a ring to it it was simply because they were either jewish or simply from a race that wasnt fully accepted for its time..

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Check Nion every actors name i mean pointless or what look at Michael J. Fox = Michael Andrew Fox

Btw did you realise why actors and generaly famous people originaly changed there names wasnt for a name with a ring to it it was simply because they were either jewish or simply from a race that wasnt fully accepted for its time..

Michael J Fox changed his name because there was already an actor called Michael Fox on Equity and allegedly you can only have one person with each name, same with a lot of actors.

Cheers

Stuart

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Guest pop-notmyface
WTF?!

Scabby little "celebrity" loser?

well, yeah. if you have to change your name because your "real" name fucking sucks, that pretty much makes one a loser by default.

it's americanisation.

no matter how good, Bob Dylan wouldn't be the person we perceive him as if he had been marketed as Robert Zimmerman.

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.........

well' date=' yeah. if you have to change your name because your "real" name fucking sucks, that pretty much makes one a loser by default.

QUOTE']

So you slag him off for changing his name, then justify him doing it:

Bob Dylan wouldn't be the person we perceive him as if he had been marketed as Robert Zimmerman.[/
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Guest pop-notmyface
It's wrong because it's American apparently...

well it is. if you were called Mohammed Ilistufih (just for the sake of a "weird name") and you were a rapper trying to earn some respect for yo badass-self, you're hardly going to make it anywhere with people thinking yo one of bin ladens' henchmen. no, you're more likely to get yo badass-self assassinated. HOWEVER, there is Def Jam who is willing to be really nice to yo and gives you a MARKETABLE name such as 1 Dollar Short, as well as some bling and some paint to make you look like a real-estate nigga. that's the "American" Way, yo.

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Guest pop-notmyface
.........
well' date=' yeah. if you have to change your name because your "real" name fucking sucks, that pretty much makes one a loser by default.

QUOTE']

So you slag him off for changing his name, then justify him doing it:

no, i'm not saying i don't like "Bobby D".

...but if a name makes you think of this

zimmer0um.jpg

then one thing it is not is Marketable.

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