Ok, a new song I have finally finished...

[Sam 45]

Cheers guys!

Debut gig' date=' sometime March 2038 at the Moorings, hosted by a bald flash.[/quote']

Haha i recon thats when we'll be just about ready to gig. See you there.

[threeornothing]

I thought that was pretty damn good.

The bit around 3:05 is my favourite' date=' the bass riff is rather cool too. I'm not keen on the singing though.[/quote']

A bit of YES influence creeped in there

I'm not too keen on my singing either.....working on it

[Flash@TMB]

A bit of YES influence creeped in there

I'm not too keen on my singing either.....working on it

Oh yeah, that's a good way of alienating all your fans. Tell them you're a punk band with Yes influences. 5 ways in which Yes can influence a tune:

1) By making it much longer than it needs to be.

2) Lyrics that are are written by a deranged 5 year old.

3) Have it sung by a faggot dressed like a floozy with a one octave range and his balls in a vice.

4) They keyboard player scoffs a curry during the performance.

5) It forms part of a 6 double concept album set about plankton.

But seriously... I really like the tune, it's arguably the best one you've done, up their with 'Space Rocket'. Your singing is fine, but it sounds to me that you have that tight throat thing happening due to being a little self concious about it. You might want to try some of those vocal exercise thingies before laying down another vocal track.

Your lyrics are fuckin shite though. You have an unusual tendency to inject too much meaning AND not enough substance into your lyrics. These in particular are fluffy, yet strangely too serious (for that tune), everything that I hate about The Manic Street Preachers shines through LMAO. Lighten them up and inject some more real world detail into them. Try spending time reading and digesting lyrics by great lyricists, including artists that you wouldn't normally listen to. Here are some off-the-cuff recommendations for you:

Bon Scott - just about eveything he even wrote, but in particular Touch Too Much, and Live Wire. Bon's lyrics are rock 'n roll in their purest form. Tight and loaded with nitty gritty detail and humour. Yours could do with a lot more of that.

Patti Smith - Free Money, Rock 'n Roll Nigger. Impossible to beat her for speel of conciousness type lyrics, but she also does a fine turn of emotion and sheer agression.

Go and send me the lyrics to Problems, set out in their lines, verses, and choruses, and I'll rewrite them as 'Space Rocket' for you.

[threeornothing]

These are the most light hearted lyrics I've ever written.....some of the other stuff is too scary to print here tho.....but good points!

[Guest Neubeatz]

Aye Keilan, thats a good track in many ways, you are showing a great mastery of tech(nique), if this track is all done "in the box", I think the lyrics are maybe in leaning to the "right" in my perception,

I like this, but I do prefer your harder/poppier/socially aware stuff

[threeornothing]

Cheers! Aye, all done in the box! (except the vocals of course.....although maybe vocaloid could solve this problem for me!)

Its funny I wrote these lyrics really quick as being obviously OTT...its basically a wake up call for the band. We've fucked about for the past 2 and a half years and have nothing to show for it...and they're always saying "we need to get a gig"...but we have nothing to play. Anyway, if the song never makes it to the public, its served its purpose, as A. our bassist has took the lyrics to heart, B. our drummer hasn't even learned how to play the song, so proves my point....

Think it really is time to call it a day band wise...?(