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Football Chants


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probably "Vladimir Romanov, he sucks Craig Gordon off" is more true these days (and something that Gordon wouldnt be totally against if the rumours are to be believed).

"If I had the wings of a sparrow

and the arse of a big buffalo

I'd fly over Ibrox tomorrow

and shite on the bastards below

Shite On! Shite On! Shite on the bastards below, below!"

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Guest DustyDeviada

To the tune of Bowie's "Rebel Rebel"

"Neville, Neville, he plays in defence

"Neville, Neville, his tackling's immense

"Neville, Neville, like Jacko he's bad

"Neville Neville is the name of his dad."

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To the tune of Bowie's "Rebel Rebel"

"Neville, Neville, he plays in defence

"Neville, Neville, his tackling's immense

"Neville, Neville, like Jacko he's bad

"Neville Neville is the name of his dad."

:laughing:

A recent one seems to be "Oh my god I can't believe it, we've never been this good away from home"

Fraserburgh did the old classic "You can shove your fucking smokies up your arse" at a cup game against Arbroath a few years ago.

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Also, heard a couple of weeks ago at a particularly dull game v. Dunfermline, that rubbish ICT chant "Give us a C... Give us an A... etc etc till it spells Caley"

Random: "Give us a C..."

One or two others: "C"

Random: "Give us an A"

Maybe one person at most: "A"

Random gives up, and within 0.5 seconds someone pipes up...

"Haw, keep it down; some of us are trying to sleep here!!"

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Here's a couple of good ones i've heard on a football forum

"booked for being ugly, oh you were booked for being ugly" (To Stevie Fulton)

St. Johnstone v. Monaco:

In yer Monaco Slums, In yer Monaco slums,

ya look in the bucket for something to eat,

ya find caviar and ya think it's a treat,

In yer Monaco slums

Again to Peterhead fans: "Captain Birdseye shagged yer maw"

Someone gave the Brighton fans the chant of "we can see you holding hands" a couple of season ago

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When Hearts fans went mental thinking they should've had a free kick for a passback after Russell Anderson kneed the ball back to Langfield who picked it up:

"You don't know the rules, you don't know the rules..!"

To Hearts fans at Tynecastle:

"You're not Scottish anymore! You're not Scottish anymore."

"You're going down like a Russian submarine, a Russian submarine, a Russian submarine..."

"They're going bust, they're going bust, they're going! Hearts are going bust."

"One Steven Pressley! There's only one Steven Pressley..."

"Where's your captain gone? Where's your captain gone?"

And so on.

Roll on Saturday...

"Who's that lying at Pittodrie? Who's that lying on the floor? Looks like Ian Durrant to me, and Simmie's fucked his knee, and he'll never play for Rangers anymore."

Ahem.

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"Who's that lying at Pittodrie? Who's that lying on the floor? Looks like Ian Durrant to me, and Simmie's fucked his knee, and he'll never play for Rangers anymore."

Ahem.

Oh dear, that old chestnut - I'd like to see how the shitebags who chant that disgraceful piece of idiotic doggerel would react to a bust cruciate - probably shit their cowardly pants and squeal for mummy.

And to qualify that statement, I am neither a Rangers nor an Aberdeen fan, I yes, I've had my cruiciate bust by some lunatic from Maryhill who's lack of talent was surpassed only by his lack of intelligence.

The Durrant thing isn't big, it isn't clever and it's nearly 20 years old - change the CD, please.

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Agreed - some nutter in The Bobbin one evening after a Dons' game kept shouting that. Needless to say, he went on to tell us how he'd been ejected from the game...

No doubt fair pleased with himself....

Shows initiative though, paying 20 to see a game and getting thrown out halfway through. Smart lad.

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"who's that lying at pittodrie..." is only just beaten for 'leat tasteful football song' by the horrendous "we all agree....."

/x

The former pales into insignificance with the latter and the equally horrendous "H-I-V Posi-tive, H-I-V....". The worrying thing is the amount of idiots that chant that one.

seagulls get to fuck, seagulls seagulls get to fuck.

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Thistle fans to Clyde at Broadwood:

'The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round, round and round.

The wheels on your house go round and round, all day long.

To St Midden fans visiting Firhill:

'Did you bring us

Did you bring us

Did you bring us any drugs?'

There were heaps of Graham Rix ones when we went to Tynecastle, but most of them will likely get deleted......

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Oh dear, that old chestnut - I'd like to see how the shitebags who chant that disgraceful piece of idiotic doggerel would react to a bust cruciate - probably shit their cowardly pants and squeal for mummy.

The Durrant thing isn't big, it isn't clever and it's nearly 20 years old - change the CD, please.

personally, i cant see any problems with the Durrant song. An incident that happened on the football pitch, where no-one died, between two teams that share a lot of hatred is fair game to sing about in my opinion. tasteless? yes. and big nor clever it certainly isnt. but this is football rivalries we're talking about, based on hugely petty things, and if singing a song about a jumped up little ned who got on the wrong end of a tackle winds up the opposition, then im all for it. also, remember Ian Durrant went on to have a career in Scottish football after that tackle, Simmie did not.

Songs like 'we all agree' or any Ibrox disaster song is unacceptable though, but to be honest, i have never heard it being sung at Pittodrie, so hopefully its on its last legs and it can be completley wiped from our repatoir.

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