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Football Chants


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I got an E-mail recently with some great football chants, the wright-phillips one is a bit harsh though..

Apparently this was the chant at the Man U Game (to Lord of the Dance)

"Park, Park, Where ever you may be

You eat dogs in your home country

it could be worse

You could be scouse

Eating rats in your council house"

Leeds fans at Norwich (adams family)

Your sister is your mother

Your uncle is your brother

You all fuck one another

The norwich family

der der der der clap clap etc"

Celtic fans too andy goram after its revealed the chubby keeper was

diagnosed with Schizophrenia

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two andy gorams"...

Charlton fans to Sean Wright Philips

"Wheres your real dad, wheres your real dad!?"

Toon fans to JF Hasselbaink. He even laughed

"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy"

(To the tune of craig david - rewind)

"VAN PER-SIE, WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO - M0LEST HER"

(could be easily changed to Ronaldo now i suppose)

To Graham Rix when he was released from prison after being convicted

for, well, you know... (To the Manic Street Preachers song)

"If you tolerate RIX, then your children will be next"

To the tune of Lost that Loving Feeling)

"We've got that Terry phelan

wooah That terry Phelan

We've got that terry phelan

and hes sub, sub, sub

woooo-ooo-oo- "

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I can't stand football chanting.

Neanderthal fuckwits with serious head problems.

what about other forms of chanting? what about chanting in the presence of other sports? what about chanting in a religous sense? are buddhists neanderthal fuckwits? do they have serious head problems? or is this just an opportunity to label a massive group of people due to the fact that you dislike football?

/x

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I love a good football chanting session. On the courtesy bus returning from a posh wedding out the road, I had a large proportion of the passengers bellowing such classics as:

REFEREE! YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING PENIS!

REFEREE! YOU'RE A HORSES ARSE!

and of course

You rake in your bucket for something to eat

You find a deid rat and you think its a treat

In your Glasgow slum.

How we laughed. Admittedly some of the brides elderly relatives didn't but that's their problem.

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Your goin home in a ...................16 bus!?!

Football chants are funny as hell, but when you get three or four knobs starting their own to try and get noticed by shouting macho shit is just annoying as fuck!! Im a young guy, dont go to much games(cause saturdays are for avin a larf) and i just feel like telling these guys to shut the fuck up!! But it wouldnt do my street cred much good and id look about 65!!!

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Portsmouth chanting to Brighton fans....

Does your boyfriend, does your boyfriend, does you boyfriend know your here?

To the tune of 'You'll Never Walk Alone':

"Sign on, Sign on,

With a pen,

In your hand,

Cos you'll nev-er get a job.

Youuuuuuu'lllllll nev-er get a job."

To the tune of "You Are My Sunshine":

"You are a Scouser,

An ugly Scouser,

You're only happy on giro day.

Your Mum's out stealing,

Your Dad's drug dealing,

So please don't take my hubcaps away."

Festive Chants...

"awa-ay in a manger,

no crib for a bed,

the little lord jesus,

looked down and he said..."

"FUCK OFF BRISTOL FUCK OFF BRISTOL FUCK OFF BRISTOL FUCK OFF BRISTOL...."

And my all-time Portsmouth favourite...

Duh Duh, Duh Duh Duh, Duh Duh Duh Duh...Pompey!

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without a hint of irony

must be hard to be an A.F.C fan

You could say it's quite difficult, particularly after three draws in a row, but hopefully we will be able to turn it around with a win on Saturday over Hibs. With United visiting Pittodrie on Tuesday it may work to our advantage and we could gain six points quickly and climb the (somewhat congested) league table. :D

Shame you're not an Aiberdeen fan too - it's a great way of life......................

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You could say it's quite difficult' date=' particularly after three draws in a row, but hopefully we will be able to turn it around with a win on Saturday over Hibs. With United visiting Pittodrie on Tuesday it may work to our advantage and we could gain six points quickly and climb the (somewhat congested) league table. :D

Shame you're not an Aiberdeen fan too - it's a great way of life......................[/quote']

ahh celtic man myself mate. think im going to the abdn game on sat tho, boy in my work giving me a ticket. should be a good game

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"Always look on the runway for ice...duh dum..duh dum duh dum duh dum...." always gets me in knots (sang to tune of that monty python song). A bit tasteless I know if you know what its about, I won't let on here though :D

Heres a punk rock version of a football chant everyone can enjoy though!!!

http://www.epitaph.com/_lib/stream.php?f=%A1Ole%21.mp3&p=/15/47/3304.mp3&id=3304

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At recent Northern Ireland vs England game after David Healy's WINNING goal:

(To Away In A Manger)

"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,

The little lord Jesus laid down his sweet head,

The stars in the bright sky

Looked down where HEA-LEY, HEA-LEY, HEA-LEY!!!"

Also - may not go down to well - to England fans:

"Are you Scotland in disguise?"

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Some of my favourites at various football matches attended recently:

Scotland V Italy

"Deep fry your pizza! we're gonna deep fry your pizza! deep fry your pizza!"

To Livingston fans:

"The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round, round and round..."

Also to Livingston fans (who numbered about 10 in the away end at Pittodrie)

"Come in a taxi? Did you all come in a taxi? Come in a taxi?"

To John Hartson:

"Same Old Hartson - always eating!"

To Fernando Ricksen

"Ricksen Ricksen where's your wife? Ricksen where's your wife?"

To Richard Gough

"WHo shagged all the kids? Who shagged all the kids? Richard Gough, child molester, you shagged all the kids..."

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ahh celtic man myself mate. think im going to the abdn game on sat tho' date=' boy in my work giving me a ticket. should be a good game[/quote']

I think it's going to be an alright sort of game.

Without defending Abedreen's lack of ability to win in the last three games, the teams we have played have stuck 9 men behind the ball and just tried to get a draw. It's not easy to play against this negative crap - i.e. Motherwell time - wasting after TEN minutes, Livvie hoofing lumps out of the penalty spot and taking 6 minutes to take a throw in and Caley's "rigid" "let's all get back and defend" policy.

Doesn't get away from the fact that after spending half a million in the close season, we really should be beating Livvie, Motherwell and Caley. Comfortably.

Hibs, on the other hand, will have a go and leave themselves a bit more open and it should make for a more entertaining sort of game if we go for it too. That's what fitba's all about really.

Having said that, if we are missing Smith and Severin the morn we can forget it.

Enjoy the game anyway min.

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Quite agreee with you Marsh (you're obviously not Rodney). The last three games have been dire but thats a lot to do with teams really going for a point against us. Still no excuse though as we knew that it would happen - was expecting a lot more from Lovell and Nicholson but have been very impressed with Crawford and Smith.

Looking forward to tomorrow, it'll be a chance to see how good we really are/see if we have progressed from last season.

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To Richard Gough

"WHo shagged all the kids? Who shagged all the kids? Richard Gough' date=' child molester, you shagged all the kids..."[/quote']

Ooh - that was an old favourite of mine, along with:

He beats his wife, he beats his wife, he beats his

Gascoigne beats his wife

or

Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies

Paul Gascoigne fat bastard

he ate all the pies

I'm sure we had some nasty songs directed at Mark Hateley - if anyone can remember them I'd be delighted to see them again and sing them loudly on the way home of an evening.

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