Lemonade Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 URGENT-GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL. AT 11.25am ON THURSDAY 8TH SEPTEMBER 2005 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 4.2 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.Victims can be seen wandering around aimlessly muttering: Ah wiz shittin masel, ah need some jellies. The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately 30 worth of damage and unbelievable disruption was caused.*Many were woken before their giro arrived*Several priceless collections of momentos from The Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged*Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed*The cone fell off the head of the statue outside The Modern Art Gallery*Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has actually happened in Glasgow*One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 mother of three said It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My two youngest, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha this morning.*Apparently though looting did carry on as normal*The British Red-Cross have so far managed to ship 40000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses*Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Argos.HOW CAN YOU HELP?Clothing is most sought after.Items required include:-Sovvy ringsBaseball capsShell SuitsTesco two stripe trainersWhite socksChunky gold chainsFood parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the sameRequired foodstuffs include:-SpamBuckfastMacaroon BarsBuckfastPork ScratchingsBuckfastTripe and onionsBuckfast*22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim*2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four*10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeromiserY Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 give that man a hat saying "im a genius" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeid Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 it made me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feeble! Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 bleh, those things have been around for years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest b-bert Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 haha, i was actually worried for a second when i saw the title. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawy Lawson:Attorney Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 haha' date=' i was actually worried for a second when i saw the tiltle.[/quote']I'm annoyed it was a joke. I came in to make a crack about Michelle McManus falling over.Oh god, never let me use "Michelle McManus" and "crack" in the same sentence again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben_1903 Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 old. but funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waste_of_faith Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 Thank god ive only had one doob!Funny as fuck!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacca Posted September 10, 2005 Report Share Posted September 10, 2005 i might have a half eaten tin of spam somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chi 666 Posted September 11, 2005 Report Share Posted September 11, 2005 ace...........................................fuckin wegeeess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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