Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 A few months ago, I decided that instead of taking the car into and out of town and having to deal with all the traffic and shit, I'd take the bus instead. The Balmedie bus - sometime around Mid afternoon it was due.I got there about fifteen minutes early because, like most public services, they're mostly unpredictable. It was a cold day - know that! So, freezing my winkie off, I decided it'd be better to hang out in the White horse pub that was literally on the road anyway.It’s a pretty nice bar really - though on the weekends you might get your nose chewed off by a neanderthal, and looking around at all the local press cuttings and what not, I withered the quarter hour away in relative warmth.I wandered through to the main bar, which was effectively dead, being a mid day weekday and all, so I thought it wouldn't be too intrusive for me to look around.But, oh shit!The bus had pulled up outside, easily ten minutes ahead of schedule, so I ran for it.I noticed, as I ran across the road and towards the bus, that there were about 2 people getting on - an old lady and a student girl.I must've lost my mindset temporarily, because as I ran up a tiny incline of grass, I stumbled, falling forward and half rolling on the grass just before the bus.Unbeknown to me, I'd lost quite a crop of cash to the grass, but I carried on, not really one to be concerned by a little stumble onto the grass - besides, I pulled it off acrobatically so I was due some fucking respect, surely...Well, maybe I would've, but sadly this was during the period BEFORE I repaired the holes in every pocket of my trousers and yes, something else went wrong. Just as I approached the bus, my mobile phone fell from my pocket and, just skimming the cushioned grass, smashed onto the kerb and sprayed its components, basing, keypad, bits of rubber and all the other vital parts, under the bus wheel!To make matters worse, as I was reaching under the bus wheel to blindly grab whatever I could in the mild panic that comes naturally with foraging under 14 tonnes of huge tyres, the queue had gone and now the school kids were getting off the bus - but I was in the way.So obviously not new to improvising, I pretty much became a fun obstacle with skater kids doing kick tricks over my back as I embarrassingly tried to get more and more of my phone back. Finally, however, I got it all and finding a gap in the torrent of leaving passengers, I climbed on board. But no, god hadn't finished with me quite thenMy other pocket now let loose a load of bunged up coins, showering them into the alcoves of each and every step (it fucking seemed) of stairs and I quickly bent down and frantically scooped the coins up. After about 10 minutes and the general commotion that such a ludicrous situation would summon, I approached the conductor, flustered and unsure. "What a dick!"and "wannnnnnker", were all I could hear now, coming in blatant shouts from the back of the bus, and then I knew.....just take the car!I hopped off that bus faster than a girl with HIV and gathered what dignity I had left, to take the car into town.Conclusion: Buses are not only bad for the environment - they destroy your soul and leave you a pathetic mess! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 theyr also full of germs and invariably driven bny arseholes!10/10 for the gymnastics tho! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threeornothing Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 That is one of the best descriptions of catching a bus I've ever read!! Before I could drive I thought nothing of it and just learned to live with it, but after losing the car, I reluctantly had to become a bus boy again, it actually felt like losing my legs. People must think I am the son of the infamous "crazy walking man" when i travel to band practice, 2 guitar cases on my back, one in my hands, an 8 track in a black bag under my arm, a laptop in my ruck sack, a tool box with all my leads and mics, a carrier bag with PC speakers, another carrier bag with rack units, sometimes even a snare drum under the other arm....It's a sight to be seen alright.I need my own personal road crew.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessHolly Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 My uncle's a bus driver. He says they found a poo at the back of one the other day. YUK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 a firm curler eh.. sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aceness Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 My uncle's a bus driver. He says they found a poo at the back of one the other day. YUK!Ooh i wondered where that went Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MarkJDelaney Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 What a fantastic little story that was! Loved every detail.But also sorry to hear what actually happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 a man on my bus this morning took to picking up every bus ticket that was lying on the floor, examining each one as he picked it up, licking them and placing them in his pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 That you on the yellow bus again is it....sure it wasn't the window he was licking? crazy man, crazy.i'll throw in a token - "eh eh eeeeeeeeeeeh" as well. (littbe britain) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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