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Rubbish ways to end a night out


framheim

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I sense conspiracy. My first mogwai hoodie fell out of my bag while i was sprinting down windmill brae to catch a bus. I later discovered it had been found by a tramp and who had added to the already worn look by adding serveral charming bloodstains down the front.

While friday did not end badly, (a fine kebab, and a healthy dose of humus) Saturday started embarrassingly. A woman came to my door clutching my keys in her hands.

"hum" I said

"hello there, er I'm Greg's mum, from next door? Greg said he saw you outside your house this morning. He said you didn't have your keys. Well round about 3 I heard someone trying to get into my door. The postman handed me these keys just now, said he found them outside my door, I was just wondering..."

"oh dear"

"yes"

"I.I...er...thank you"

"it's ok, you know the colours are almost the same, and it was probably dark..."

"yeah"

"but anyway no harm done, bye"

"hmm"

It struck me then, that I had no idea how, without my keys, I managed to get in at all. I took my ponderances to my mother who, with a look acid death, muttered something dire and stalked from the room.

I got my contacts out fine though.

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having to carry dayeth up the stairs in his house' date=' put him to bed and then remove his contact lenses. i seem to recall most of that night was alright though[/quote']

Nae as bad as being put to your bed on a Wednesday night by your dad after a night drinking at your local pub :D

You know who you are...

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Walking around in the pissing rain,being soaked through (especially right through your shoes to your feet, i HATE that!) having to get the last bus back to ellon, getting there at about half 3 walking all the way home in the pissing rain, only to realise you don't have your house keys. Ringing the doorbell off the wall for 20 minutes, only to also realise your mum was so pissed herself that she is in a drunkn sleep and NEVER going to wake up. The joy of finding the garage door unlocked, only to find that for the first time in months someone has locked the ajoining door between the kitchen and the garage.

Deciding that the only thing you can do is sleep on top of the freezer, at 4 in the morning, while soaking wet, freezing your ass off. Then waking up an hour later thinking you are going to die then just reading a crappy book you found until its time to go to work at half 8.

The best bit being the next day when coming home from work and your mum says "were you ringing the doorbell last night? I could've sworn I heard the doorbell, but couldn't be arsed getting out of bed" :swearing:

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Guest ()Papaspyrou()
getting run over by a volkswagen at 60mph' date=' breaking ribs, puncturing lungs, breaking both legs and an arm and a sizeable portion of teeth and bone knocked out. And being dead for about 4 minutes. - Ed[/quote']

hardly a bad night out. You should try holding a girls bag for 1/4 of an HOUR

Now thats painful

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trying to find a venue that will let ya in for a pee' date=' without ID! :swearing:

Spending all that time going from place to place getting the same feekin face and answer,

"sorry no ID, no entry". Sad fucks!

Finding a place to pee only to discover all venues are closed for drinking and hanging out feeding your face due to depression. :down:

ROFLMAO[/quote']

how old are you out of interest? don't get what's sad about bouncers doing their job and id'ing people.

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speaking of which' date=' did anyone see in the papers several months ago, the plans for toilets that would emerge out the ground at night time to stop people pissing in the street, and would just go back underground during the day?[/quote']

yea, what a great idea!

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ROFLMAO

Nice one, except I think for us ladies it'd be a sight for sore eyes, don't cha' think?

I saw that news report a few months back about those toilets that rise from the ground, nice idea. Just wonder if the local drunk/beggar would figure that out and use them to keep warm. :D

ever tried peeing in the street before? its really underrated
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My most memorable "street piss" experience was after a heavy night in Moshulu. Lucy from Cuts and I took to the wee alley next to the entrace and let loose in privacy up there.

It flowed down the hill. It was beautiful.

I think that's just about the most grostequely disgusting image that has ever (briefly) crossed my mind

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I remember a mate of mine taking a piss up an alley while giving a ladyfriend a piggyback. Ladyfriend was not best pleased.

Eaating half a friends hotdog from the 24 hour garage, getting home and sitting on the end of the bed to suddenly realise the hotdog wasn't the best plan and trying to cover the puke up with your hands while slowly trying to make it to the bathroom..... and failing. Puke on jacket hanging up in room, wall, lobby floor & walls, all over bathroom floor and some in toilet. Now to clean up puke and peices of hotdog while pissed as a fat. Ah wet towel a great idea..... until the next day when you can smell puke and hotdog all through the house and using a tin of cheap tesco deoderant to cover smell. Now makes you gag anytime you have to use the toilet.

Mother and father come hom from holiday today. The joys....

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HAHAHAHAHAHAA, i think every1 has taken a piss in the street at sometime, i witnessed a drunk streaker running down belmost street pissing as he ran, it wentEVERYWHERE. i had to jump into drummonds to avoid getting wet... < i think that is the lowest point ever reached in a thread...

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Guest Tam o' Shantie

worst ends, either jumping off a moving car and landing on my face, or sleeping on the streets, or walking from aberdeen to dyce in the snow. worst recent one was friday night - managed to get home ok but passed out before i could drink any fluids - woke up at 8am with a bad ass hangover and an opened but otherwise untouched can of warm irn bru. last night some dude head butted me, but it didn't bother me in the slightest.

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