jonty84 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 OK, here we go, I need a laugh, let's hear the funniest jokes you've ever heard! Somebody told me this in the toilets in exodus a few weeks ago...if it was anyone on here, own up coz you're a legend!What's brown and half eaten?The pope's easter egg.Controversial, I know but still, funny.Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midgeski Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 what's brown and sticky and crawls up your leg?a homesick poo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty-words Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 What does parsley and womens public hair have in common?You push them both to the side and keep eating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keira Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 what's brown and sticky and crawls up your leg?a homesick pooBEST THING EVER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth_groover Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Knock knock!Who's there?MichaelMichael who?Fuck off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayeth Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Did you hear about the paper boy?He blew away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haigyman Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 why is stevie wonder always smiling?he hasn't realised he's black yet.what makes stevie wonder scream?when he answers the iron.why can't stevie wonder read?cause he's black. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon Of The Fall Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 scott brown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishbone G Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Why are neds like slinkies?They have no real use but its great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.Two neds in a car without any music. Whos driving? The police What do you call a ned at college? The janitorTwo neds jump off beachy head, who wins? Society.What do you say to a ned with a job? Can I have a big mac please?What do you say to a ned in a suit? Will the defendant please stand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen B Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 scott brownOooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!What's worse than finding a hair in your soup?Being raped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete_inthehills Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 two goldfish in a tank.One turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive one of these?"How do you sell a dog to a deaf man?(shouted)DO YOU WANT TO BUY A DOG?What's orange and sounds like a parrot?a carrot.mydogsgotnonosehowdoesitsmell?awfulthank god scene points have gone....Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 what do you get hanging from banana trees?sore arms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skull Commander Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Whats the difference between an egg and a wank?You can beat an egg, but you canna beat a wank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayeth Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Two neds jump off beachy head' date=' who wins? [/i'] Society.Hahahahah, that one's good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 What do you say to a woman who has two black eyes?Nothing, she's already been told twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaTsunami Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 how do you know a blonde has been using Word for Windows?there's tippex on the monitor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tv tanned Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.The barman says: "Is this some sort of joke?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "Gee, it's hot in here." The other cries, "Oh my LORD, a talkin' muffin!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig WTW Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 why is stevie wonder always smiling?he hasn't realised he's black yet.why can't stevie wonder read?cause he's black.ROFL <wets pants> I don't even know who you are but already consider you a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haigyman Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 An Englishman' date=' Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.The barman says: "Is this some sort of joke?"[/quote']hahahahahha that is fucking brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Found Power Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 An overused, ages-old joke that ceased to be funny long ago walks into this thread...and feels perfectly at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamilleY Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 The making of manIn the beginning God created Eve. And she had 3 breasts. After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How're things, Eve?" He asked."It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them onbushes, they're a real pain," reported Eve."That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at that you know. I gave the animals, what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!"So, God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes.Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden."Well, Eve, how's my favourite creation?" He asked. "Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so alone."God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you!""Now, let's see ....... where did I put that useless tit?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulscoconutass Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, lesbian, crocodile, priest, nun, ned, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jacson, a chicken, and a lawyer walked into a bar.The bartender says "Man, can't wait to hear this punchline."Boom Boom Ching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty-words Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 How do you make a one handed irish man fall out a tree?Wave to him.Whats the difference between a mosquito and a blond chick?A mosquito will stop sucking when you slap it.whats the difference between a girl from torry and a washing matchine?You get your load back from a washing matchine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Pel Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 How do you know a blonde has been in the fridge?There are lipstick marks on the cucumber.What kind of bees make milk?BOOBIES (boo-bees)Whats brown and sticky?A stickHAve you heard of the new drug going around aberdeen?Ken fit a mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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