captain burrito

Yeah, I don't like chocolate all the much either. People don't seem to understand. However, when I offer them a humous and rocket bagel, they flip out and name it a mingfest. Obviously I'm the better person because I don't think chocolate is a mingfest [i like it occasionally], and bagels and humous are always delish.

Sell the idea to Hollywouldmakeanyfilmever. "A turnstyle hell bent on a murderous rampage through the New York subway system finally meets it's match: an adrenaline infused Scottish immigrant who knows how to get through. In theatres April 15th 2010". Or something to that effect.

The Mikado chipper on George Street. Reet braw.

The first guy. Already kinda look like that, I'm just a smidge more sexy, have less crayons in my beard and I don't ask my grandfather for his old specs.

A picture paints a thousand words. I just wouldn't be able to see that picture.

I believe it implies that ginger females [not sure about males] have lighter nipples ['nips'] than most, meaning that they appear like a proverbial ninja on a females breast. That is, they surprise you out of no where with a shuriken to the face and a katana to the cock.

It dosen't even have wings!

Was it advertising their comedy prices?

Questions have been picked apart for loopholes from the start, you're not above such critique yet roidy!

Plus if you're horny enough, you're gonna stick your dick in any willing receptacle, up to and including your offsprings mouth.

Option 1. Don't have a very close family and I don't think my Dad gets laid all that often. He might have a "temporary lapse in strength" one time too many.

When you say "no more knowledge" does that mean I'll forget they existed?

How does SPL legislation affect the area outside a club stadium? What I mean is, are the club responsible for keeping the approaching streets clear or is this something which isn't covered by SPL law? If this has already been discussed, I apologise.

True dat.

If your poop was solid enough, it may just roll out your loose boxers, along the floor and under a workmates chair. Piss is still likely to stain jeans/trousers no matter how careful your aim is.

You can remove your shitty undergarments, piss gets everywhere. Trousers, chair, floor. For me, shitting oneself is the preferable option.

Here's one that appears straight forward [if it's been done, sue me]. What would you rather: piss your pants or shit your pants? In both instances people can tell.

Having a vag would be ace, like having an extra pocket for really important stuff. Putting your hand in this pocket would feel awesome, I imagine. Well, perhaps not your whole hand, wouldn't want to be known to have a slack fanny.

The instrumental suggestions have been mostly great. Digging Brian Eno especially. I'd like to recommend Young Livers: The New Drop Era - Young Livers - Spotify Of Misery and Toil - Young Livers - Spotify Really great punk rock, for fans of Hot Water Music and stuff with gruff, throaty vocals.

I'm fine with that. Vegans are terrible people. I'm an ace people.

I thought milk and butter were required ingredients in scrambled eggs? Have I been mislead all these years? Fuck sake.

Went to a party and pulled a girl. Was too drunk to get her number or recall her name. Months go by. Bump into said girl in town one night. Arrange to meet at a local nightclub later in the evening. Meet said girl in said nightclub. Have a drink and have a dance. Go back to hers and she fucks me 6 ways to Sunday. Ace.

First instrument I owned was a Hohner harmonica. Have no recollection as to why or even where it came from. In secondary school, my art teacher had lined his class room with guitars. One day I cheekily asked if I could take one home and he gave me a half decent acoustic. Bought a cheap les paul copy 2nd hand from a chum. Sold it [for a profit no less] so I could pay for a ticket to visit my girlfriend at the time who stayed in another city. Wish I hadn't done that. Got a bass one year for Christmas and never looked back. Can still string a few power chords together on guitar, but feel much more at home playing bass. My Mum played guitar when she was a teenager, but she gave it up after a few years. Wish she hadn't, things could have been so different. I'm the only one in my family who plays an instrument.

It's great isn't it? Peter Parker getting GRIIIIIM. Ace-ic: my Mum handing me one of those hanging bags of sweets that are resealable. I thought they were Galaxy Minstrels as this is her normal confectionary of choice. She'd eaten some, so the pack was [re]sealed. Open them up, stuck my hand inside and realised they were Aero Bubbles. Incredible goodness.

How come Dundee Utd have ended up with 3 games in hand over us? I thought the Dons had a pretty congested fixture list, but what's going on there?