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Miranda Hart, Jesus. I'm sure there is many a comedian / comedienne who have made a living from a lot less than falling over opportunity, but I'm sure I laughed more.

Fucking brilliant!! you half expect him at the end to go........"wehey!!! Martin Jol!! good eh???"

Speaking of people who are shit. Remember when Steve McLaren came back from FC Twente ( ?) and he had a strange Anglo-Dutch accent, what a zoomer.

Jeez,this Spain U'21's side is ever so slightly useful isn't it? Think this side would go close in the actual world cup never mind this U 21's Euro thingy!! Love the Premiership, Champions League and the odd boozy away day watching the Dons, but really wish International football and youth development were a bit higher on the priority list of the home nations. International footballs mint. ( I haven't used the word "mint" since I was 13 )

New True Widow next month. "Circumambulation" whoop!

New Big Business record "Battlefields forever" later this year I hear. Meanwhile....

A fucking Pedestrian crossing then. The one WITH traffic lights WITH buttons to press to activate them???? the ones that idiots can't use properly?? .

Ive been to a lot of fucking cities around this world, driven in them too!! Now, im not saying it ONLY happens here in Aberdeen, but I have certainly only noticed it with any regularity here. The total fuck heads who push their baby laden pram into the road whilst they are waiting to cross!!!! what the fuck IS that all about????? Ive seen it on dual carriage ways, housing scheme streets, main roads, you name it!!! LOTS. Its normally the imaciated ( ? ) moon tan - toothless - gurning - eyebrow shaven - always in a rush to get nowhere - junkie - scum, thats granted, but not always. Yesterday, an Asian guy was pushing his be-prammed victim, half way across the fucking ZEBRA CROSSING - lights on GREEN!! on Holburn Street, looking at me as if to say "....stop then", I fucking wound the window down as he passed and shouted PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON!!!!, YOU HAVE A BABY IN YOUR PRAM..................I REALLY wanted to fight him. Tonight, driving towards Esslemont Avenue, a woman carrying what can only be described as a "Small human" ( it wasn't a baby in a pram but still ) STOOD in the middle of the cunting road!!!! waiting for the fucking traffic to stop!!!! What was even weirder about it, was the person she was carrying looked way to big to be escorted in such a fashion, she was hardly breast feeding a 10 year old in the street so I guess ill give that swerve, but someone is going to die I swear it. Fucking Pricks

Guess im lucky, i dont think ill ever get sick of playing and writing, that said for about 12/18 months ive been really struggling to get passed "having an idea", cant seem to finish much, got tonnes of half finished riffs and ideas.

Haha they dont want much do they? as finals go its was a classic to my eyes, theyre normally boring as shit, better in recent years granted. Thought Dortmund were .......good......REAL good, dread to think what they would have been like if they had Goetze playing alongside Reus, if hes as good as Messi at 20!!!! maybe a bit of exaggeration there i wreckon but still, that Reus would walk into any single premiership outfit, supposed to be a holding roll..... stroll on. Shame Goetze couldnt play, its a messed up situation really that the side above them COULD actually buy him but still, Dortmund are hardly trophy shy are they. Robben is stealing all the limelight, but Bayern are crazy good arent they, our club sides are light years behind Real and Barca who have circumbed in the short term. What is that German national side going to be like over the next few years, theyre awsome now! If they play over here, it wont be Hampden, Wembley it'll have to be Lords, Wembleys scoreboard only takes double figures. Only slight negative about it was.They still roll around like theyve been shot, call me old fashioned but it still bugs like it did 20 years ago, theyre too good for that shit, Rebery should have gone, we were all crying about it but no one else made a massive fuss about it so i guess it wasnt a bad thing that he didnt. However how Dante stayed on the pitch is beyond me, ref bottled it big style. Fuck im drunk.

A penny for Boris Johnsons thoughts as Bayern Munich lift the cup in owld l'aaand'n taaaaaaaaa'n, even if it was ( and usually is ) mindless drivel.

Probably.....its a good thing though , he seems a decent sort of bloke to me Neville ( partly because he at some point scored a tonne for Lancashire i believe, U'19's or something ). Seems a daft thing to say about a pundit, but i really like hearing what Neville has to say, cos lets face it most of them just recite exactly what is still floating around in your brain regarding the last 90 minutes of your life, Jamie Rednapp and Graeme Souness couldnt be more awkward, as Rednapp constantly interupts and Souness, by the end, actually looks like he wants to lynch him, both are twats. He'll either be the best pundit ever or coach the full England team or something.

haha! yeh! no answer to that is there? Awsome finish. Thought Stoke were pretty competative in that game too, up until that moment anyway.....although Gary Neville should have walked for his 2nd bookable on WIlko ( if that was the right game) but we'll let him off cos he's never anything but nice about the Potters on the telly these days .

...................Walters...........................and Sidebe.........................dear me. Im literally hanging my head in shame. He came on and scored an absolute "boster" against United at our place picked the ball out the net and ran towards the half way line as if to say..................LETS FUCKING AV IT!!! ( in Turkish obviously ) what a guy!!!.... think it ended up 1-3 Also scored a cracker against Man Citeh in the cup.................stroll on

Cracking footballer. Im only going by the rumour mill, always rated him personally.

Agreed The F.A Cup semi final V Bolton was the best day EVER, i was fucking clattered!!! It was funny really: Pulis - "I think we should buy / bring in Owen, Tuncay, Upson, Woodgate, Palacios, Pennant........." Coates - "really Tony......theyre a bit dodgy................injuries???......nobheads?????? Pulis - "aaaaaaahh they'll be fine with a bit of aaaaaaaaard wurrrrrrrrrrk" Coates "why arent you playing them Tony??" Pulis - " arr theyre a bit dodgy.....injuries....nobheads and that" Coates - "oh.............." Onwards and upwards, it will be like watching Brazil by Septemeber!!!! G'warrrrrrrrrn Stoke. CTID

I cant argue with the figures quoted, but Kighlty, Jerome, Adam etc are hardly Rooney, Tevez and Mata are they, i guess thats testament to what finances it would actually take to improve a lesser team in the Premiership. Wages are a massive part of transfers, it doesnt take me to say that. I cant see anywhere near that sort of investment again from Stoke, if they do stay in the Premier, i think it was a gamble ( like i said ) that would eventually be rebuked. Excited?? im excited, i never said i wasnt. I liked Pulis, thought he was an honest guy and genrally well liked ( obviously not on here ) by most pros you listen too and in my eyes rightly so, thought he was a bit cringeworthy when we lost and also when he banged on about an un level playing field as far as getting players in and that, has it ever been fair?, no. FairER? yes. I thought Stoke did improve....marginally, i found it pianful at the end of this season though without occasionally upsetting the top 4 and trashing Newcastle or Bolton or some other team, so i guess he paid the price. nuff said. Martinez, no chance. Hughes more than likely.

Who'd have thought a club coming up from the Championship ( wilderness ) would play unattractive "percentage" football to try and stay up eh, just when numerous, far bigger clubs clubs ( Newcastle, WBA blah blah you could write a book ) have perished and undoubtably will again trying to play football the "proper" way. Im certain Stoke only really spent "big" ( around 6 million ish ) knowing that money would be rebuked by actually staying in the Premiership this season due to the massive influx of money obviously this season above others, that aswell as Begovic being touted by Man yooo and Barca among others and hoping to make a mint that way, they did stay in the division before on a proverbial shoestring before with substandard footballers, many of whom are still there, there is no doubt of that, i thought it was a fantastic achievement the first 3 seasons...near enough unheard of. Pretty or not. Cant understand why anyone really gives a shit to be fair, theyre fucking 16th in the league or whatever, whatever floats your boat though. Funny how times change, i remember not so long ago it was imperative to have to big centre halves who would flatten anyone in their path, play to the whistle and if they got away with it...fuck it, get on with it you fanny. Footballs a different place now, mostly for the better....apart from our 4 international teams being absolute dog shit, but thats a different story. Not that im condoning for a second dirty play, and by dirty play i mean the horror challenges that only a moron would condone, Stoke are more guilty than most, undeniably, thats wrong. Thereve been some stinkers this season, the young lad at Wigan and even the challenge on Charlie Adam at Sunderland, were all as bad as any.

Give over, youre being silly now.

Im a bit sad i have to say, most folks hate us but ive been a fan too long to care haha! ( apart from the mid November 4 - 0 drubbling at the hands of Colchester, then I too HATED.....US......ME....Errr....Them? ) Weve always been "direct", to be fair in 2013 its a bit outdated, what with all the glossy skills offered by even the bottom half of the premiership teams. It would be nice to follow suit and play some good stuff, cos we have decent DE-FENDERRRRRRS, most of the bottom half seemed to forgot to buy DE-FEN-DERRRRRRRRS but anyway. Some were un lucky with injuries in all seriousness. Old Tone had definately taken us as far as he could thats not open to question, even though we went 10 games unbeaten just before Xmas it was strikingly apparent that we needed 2 wingers and 2 full backs, then i personally thought we could have had a full on assault on 10th spot!!! ha! But anyway guess thats why hes not there anymore. I really wish they wouldnt do the "outside the ground" interviews, fuck, that accent hahaha jesus, i'd rather listen too an hour-long interview with Graeme Mcdowell Rafa is 2-1 ON to get the job! Di Matteo is 4-1 ..........got it a feeling Gus Poyet is gonna there or thereabouts, please dont let if be Mark "Joner" Hughes though.

Pile - "Dripping" Yes.