Ziggylynch

Four men were sitting around a conference room table being interviewed for a job. The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" The first man replied "A thought. It pops into your head, there’s no forewarning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of. "That's very good" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir," he asked the second man. "Hmmm, let me see..... A blink!" said the second man. "It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye” That’s a very popular clich? For speed.” He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out on my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the paddock the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard To beat the speed of light", he said. Turning to the fourth man, an Australian, he posed the same question “After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the fastest thing known is diarrhoea, Said the Aussie."What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response? "Oh, I can explain", said the Aussie,"You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could, think, blink, or turn on the light, I shit my pants." He got the job...

keep on strumming! Yo dudes! tks for the laughs via some of the replies. made me chuckle somewhat. i've owned my Ibanez for some years now and never picked up a lesson, magazine, video etc, ( which would explain why i can't play ), however i can throw a tune together which, when mixed with some hallucigenics, brings me much happiness. stay cool and keep on strumming - the Zigster

Michael Barrymore was asked if he was going to do any pantos this year to which he replied "no **ckin' way!" "I did Aladdin last year and I'm still getting stick for it" However, you can't beat a bit of T.C. - R.I.P. ‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’ Went to the paper shop - it had blown away I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. ‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’ A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’ The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’ A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘ I’ve hurt my arm in several places’ The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’ ‘So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’ ‘So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘ Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said ‘ It depends where you’re calling from.’ I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

J.R. Loved the tats! Is Catwoman on your arm or your leg? Where did you get them done and how long did they take?

B. Nice tattoos on you & your missus! How long did the one on your left arm take to complete? Don't know how Freud would interpret this but working offshore as I am at present we have doughnuts on offer every night. Last night I ate a doughnut, something I haven't done in over two years - spooky eh!

Dianne, any chance of submitting pics of your tats? or your tattoos if you wish - boom, boom! By the way, those blinds went out of fashion yonks ago ..................................

F.C. thanks for the comments/advice and on reflection I think you're right, I should let things settle down and see how we get on from there. Best of luck with your tattoo and do post a pic when you get it done. I've included a completed wings pic ( the tattoo was only finished a week ago ). Apparently it'll fade slightly in the next few weeks then that should be it. cheers fae the Zigster

Hi there dudes! Stage 1 done with the shading and it's looking the biz!!! I'll give it a week to calm down then go back in and get the second wing shaded in which'll finish off this particular tattoo ( or will it? ). Would luv some feedback ( sensible plse ), for what else I could have done to compliment the wings? - cheers fae the Zigster

Drugs makes me happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

DOH!!! Told you I worked offshore!

Yo dudes, As you're all talking about Ibanez's, a few years ago I bought a Desert Yellow coloured Frank Gambale ( mainly 'cos it was stunning to look at and super thin ). Are these things any good? You can probably tell I don't know the first thing about them, let alone play them but you know what like when you work offshore - plenty money, no sense! I'll have to post a picture if I can find one. I believe it was a 2nd generation model 'cos I had a few lessons from Graeme Marshall who was pretty hot on the guitar and played in and around Aberdeen for a while. He had a 1st generation one and mine was considerably lighter! Appreciate any feedback - cheers Ziggy

Y.N. Excuse me being so nosey but where on the body is a "Monroe"?

B.E. I've had three tattoos done previously at Richards, one by Richard and two by Jimmy (who did the wings this time round). As previously there's no sense of welcome which can be offputting. I subscribe to Bizarre magazine and last month there was a write-up on Draconian on George Street so I thought I'd go and get it done there. Unfortunately they were quoting a booking nearer the end of the year! I told them that I wanted it done soonest and that I was only giving them a try because of the write-up and to give them credit they did say if I was going to get this done then they recommended Richards. All-in-all I've never had a bad tattoo at Richards (although none of them have been intricate). As mentioned previously I'm getting the shading done next time home so we'll see how it looks then. I've tried to add my photo onto the bottom of this reply 'cos I didn't know how to do it previously (fingers crossed) - cheers the Zigster

Draconian vs Richards Hi there peoploids! Well I went into Draconian to ask about a set of wings for my back and they were quoting near the end of the year to get booked in. I tried Richards and they said they could do it the next day! This link takes you to the first one I had done .... http://www.aberdeen-music.com/galleries/files/7/4/6/9/BlackandWhiteWings.JPG This next link takes you to the extensions I had done ( you can see the redness ) .... http://www.aberdeen-music.com/galleries/files/7/4/6/9/TattooExtention.jpg I think it was a wise move to have it extended. In about four weeks time I'll go in for some shading to finish it off which'll take about two hours on each wing. Once I get that done I'll fire off another reply. Co-incidentally there was a girl getting angel wings done around the same time as me so if she's part of the community - get yer tats oot and gies a look!!! cheers fae the Zigster

Draconian vs Richards tks B.E.! I'll give it a shot - the Zigster