Murrr

I dunno. I've got one Villa-supporting mate who' absolutely obsessed with Newcastle. Any time we talk football he brings-up how they're a bigger club, how much more success they've had over the years, etc. Completely without provocation. Then he dives into the "Newcastle fans have ridiculous expectations" thing, again without provocation. It's kind of adorable, really.

Me today:- Meh. Maybe next season'll be more fun. Last time certainly was.

I fucking *hate* Aston Villa and was absolutely delighted when their relegation was confirmed. Why? Because I am a petty little shit and remember all the banners they made on the day they sent us down a few years ago:- Get in the bin. It's a pathetic little thing to hold onto, however, and I'm glad to finally be free of it. I'd feels sorry for their fans if they hadn't made those banners, TBH. Their plight is incredibly similar to ours. Fuck incompetent owners.

I agree with all of this apart from the "I hope Newcastle get relegated" bit, obvs. If we stay-up, we keep Rafa. Going down would be the biggest missed opportunity in the club's history, IMO. Guy's done a very, very good job thus far and I love him already.

Eh, I'm not even pondering any potential negative outcomes at the moment. It's the first genuine slither of hope we've had in a long, long time. Not gonna spoil it with thoughts of potential relegation and Gary Megson as manager.

Christ. After that big despondent post I made the other day, I'm actually feeling something resembling genuine hope for the first time in years. Literally years. What a difference a couple of days make. It's such a weird thing. Mike Ashley hasn't sacked a manager for poor results since he binned Allardyce shortly after taking over. More importantly, he's never -- *ever* -- replaced departing managers with somebody competent. Look at the shit we've endured, man. Joe fucking Kinnear, Alan Pardew, John Carver, Steve McClaren. None of these men were ever qualified for the job, and we've just gone and appointed one of the top 15 managers in world football. I don't... I can't even... what the hell is happening? Can't say I'm particularly optimistic about our chances of staying-up, but this is just so bloody inspiring. Our stature doesn't deserve a manger of this caliber at all.

What the actual fuck? How did this even happen?

Nah. That's been fun to see in an "I told you so" kinda way, but I dunno. I just don't really enjoy football much any more. Ashley and his various parade of lackeys have just kind of ground all the passion out of me at this point, and the club's really become nothing more than a Sports Direct advertisement vehicle. There's no heart, no soul... nothing. It's just dead. I became a fan during the Keegan era. That was all blind optimism, romance, hope, and exciting football. What we have today is the polar opposite of that. It's a club that doesn't want to do anything other than merely "exist," and that's not what the sport is about to me. They likely wont replace McClaren because they're so disconnected from what a football club should be. We'll probably sleepwalk into the Championship and I can't even guarantee I'll be upset. They've beaten all that out of me. One of the worst things about being a Newcastle supporter is the way you're looked at by other fans, too. The slightest hint of hope and optimism and it's "LOL, deluded Geordies! Who do they think they are?!" It's nuts. Like Pardew left, we were told "careful what you wish for." Look at him now: 12 games without a win. McClaren comes in, some of us are unconvinced, and we were told "he's an excellent coach and plays good football, stupid deluded Geordies." Well shit, look at us now. I dunno. It's been a tiresome ten years. I still tune-in when we're on the television and force a cheer when we win, but I don't see my passion coming back until we get an owner who actually has the club's best interests at heart.

Murrr is dead. Football did it.

Been watching the Star Wars films in "Machete Order" (http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/). I've never seen the OG films (only the prequels...), and wanted to catch-up with the classics before the new one comes out. A New Hope: This shit started off terribly. Like, weapons grade awful. 20 minutes of "super cute robot adventure in the desert" almost lost me completely, but it swung around when that Ben guy rolled through, then Han Solo slightly later. Best bit was in that weird alien pub when that green thing tried to hustle Han, but got shot in the face instead. Started to lose me again when Big Ben died and started telepathically communicating to Luke in the cheesiest "mentor" voice ever, and shit, who designed the Death Star? One shot down a weird hole and the whole thing explodes. Good film tho. 7/10. The Empire Strikes Back: Better. The Luke/Dad fight sequence was awesome, all of it. 3/10 for Lando's terrible facial shrubbery. Storm troopers shoot like they're playing Call of Duty with no thumbs, and Chewy's noises get more and more distressed-sounding every I hear them. Another serious design flaw from the Empire, too, when their big-ass star destroyer thing couldn't locate the Millennium Falcon when it was parked on the ship's hull. Seriously, these guys are idiots. How do they get anything done? Their admin department must be a right mess. The Yoda training scene was really campy and silly, and Ben's telepathy gets more and more cringeworthy. Great ending, though. 8/10. Onto Episode 2 next. Good lord, I'm not looking forward to this.

McClaren is fucking shite. Get in the bin.

We're witnessing the very public mental disintegration of a national treasure here, mates. The Scottish music G.O.A.T is falling apart before our very eyes. I think there's something in my eye.

I'm glad most rational people seem able to spot Pardew for the prick he is. The media can't get enough of licking the man's arse, so I'd been wondering if it was just my bitterness getting the best of me. I love rooting against the shitebag. Dude was responsible for me actively rooting against my team so he'd get sacked. He made me hate watching football. He made losing to Sunderland and getting turned over by top 4-5 sides before the match had even begun a normal thing. He played a huge role in ushering our era of complacency, and he got rid of the most joyous player we've had in my lifetime (HBA). Can't wait for his next grand failure.

He's always been like that, TBH. He's never really been the silky-smooth French metronome everyone's pegged him as, and has always had a massive radge streak running through him. Used to fly into all kinds of wild tackles with no regard for human life when he was with us.

I've had a totally irrational, unjustifiable hatred for Aston VIlla ever since they relegated us and pulled shit like this out:- Get in the bin, Brummie shites. If them and Sunderland go down I'll be very happy indeed.

Andy Carroll is at least thrice the footballer Carlton Cole is, and loads better than Andy Johnson and Dean Ashton were. He's better than Cole in literally every aspect of the game, apart from being fit to play. That's Carroll's only real downfall, IMO, but it's a huge one. If he didn't have chronic injury problems he'd be one of the most effective forwards in the league.

Joe was an absolutely wonderful player until Mourinho coached the fun out of him. He became a rather functional but unspectacular player at Chelsea, which is a shame, because he was a total wizard at West Ham. Carlton Cole has never been anything more than bang average at his absolute peak. He's typically veered between that and utter shite, so I definitely wouldn't take him over Joe, unless we're talking right now.

In other "big, useless, donkey strikers" news, Big Shola's just signed for Bolton. Can't wait to see him tear it up with Heskey. Bolton fans'll be rubbing their hands together...

Agreed. They've been lacking a bit of outright rubbishness in their frontline since Pukki left.

No idea how we pulled that off yesterday but Mitrovic and Perez are the greatest of all time. Wijnaldum is alright too.

I really hope these Klopp talks break down, though. I like Klopp a lot, and when you join Liverpool, that's it. You're done. You've crossed over, and we can never be friends again.

Rodgers did fine. 7th, 2nd and 6th. Pretty, pretty good indeed. I'm not sure how much input he had on transfers, as I've heard Liverpool have some kinda "transfer committee," but the current squad is all kinds of mediocre, especially in defence. That doesn't help. The guy's a grade A David Brent/Alan Partridge expy, but he did well enough. His inability to create a functioning, consistent defence is quite alarming, but every single one of their current CBs is a clanger merchant.

I'm finding the easiest way to get into it is just forget about the complexities and intricacies and look at it as a sport of making runs, throwing, catching, and smashing other humans. As a new viewer, looking at it as this amazingly complex sport definitely creates a big barrier to entry, and trying to pay attention to every minor detail that's happening is really distracting and frustrating. Just tryna figure out the basics and take it from there. I still have no idea what a "rushing hard" is or what any of the positions other than a quarterback actually do.