Murrr

How can you not love Garth Crooks?

https://twitter.com/SwansOfficial/status/903281468507598848

You lads buzzing?

1 hour ago, Adam Easy Wishes said:

Aberdeen beat Shkendija in the 2015 Europa qualifiers. Just FYI. Don't know anything about how they've progressed since then, but from memory they basically thought the tie was won before a ball was kicked and played with a misplaced arrogance. Like most teams Aberdeen face in Europe.

Best description of Aberdeen's recent European opposition I've heard.

Limassol were among the worst for this, particularly their manager, who dicked around as if he were Paolo di Canio at Pittodrie.

Milan have bought very well. Bonucci is a unique player (and the best centre-back in world for football, for my money) who will not only transform their defence, but their entire strategy (thanks to his ridiculous distribution). Franck Kessie is an outstanding box-to-box midfielder who, on his current trajectory, will be recognised among the best in Europe before long. Rodriguez, Contri, Calhanoglu, Biglia, Musacchio - all good players who'll take the club forward.

Borini is a stinking player, but he won't be leading the line. He'll play on one of the flanks when he starts, with Cutrone or Andre Silva through the middle. Cutrone is the main reason that I think Milan resisted the temptation to sign a big name forward, in fact: he looks a great player, though it's too early to call him a wonderkid.

With all that said, I'm going to give a moderately warm take and say that Napoli will be the team to break Juventus' dominance this year. They've kept hold of all their players, and while they haven't added anyone of note, I don't think they needed to. Young players like Rog and Diawara will continue to develop throughout the season, and the team already play some of the best football in Europe.

Juve smashed it on the first day, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if they didn't win the league again, but losing Bonucci really sucks for them. I'm not surprised they haven't tried to replace him, because you can't. He's one of a kind.

Their remaining central defensive options are good, but flawed. Barzagli is an old man. Chiellini is ageing, and everybody knows his flaws. Benatia is injury prone. Rugani is seen as the future, but is he ready to step into the breach? 

Similarly, I'm not too sure about their central midfield. Their shortcomings in that department really stuck out in the Champions League final, when they were really overrun by Madrid (albeit by the an incredible CM pairing). Matuidi is a great buy, Pjanic is fantastic, but I feel like they need a Kante type in there too. We'll see.

It's shaping up to be a really fun season. I get the sense that the league is finally starting to bounce back after several years in the abyss. It's a slow process, but there's a lot of exciting young talent in Italy, and Juventus have now provided an off-field blueprint for Serie A clubs to succeed on a grander stage. Very exciting. 

20 hours ago, ca_gere said:

If you're still looking for a good football podcast, a couple of the guys from The Football Ramble (which I like) have just released the first episode of a new one called 'on the continent' - focusing on European football obvs. James horncastle on the first episode - always worth a listen.

Lovely stuff - ta. I'm getting back into Italian football heavily at the moment, so this is relevant to my interests. Always love a bit of Horncastle.

James Richardson's new gimmick is pretty much how I remember the old Guardian Football Weekly shows, before they acquired that gimp from Soccer AM and bantz'd all over the place. This Monday's show had Leroy Rosenior, who's a bit of a goober, but still a good show. https://audioboom.com/channel/the-totally-football-show-with-james-richardson

There's a new BBC podcast starting next Monday: Julien Laurens, Raphael Honigstein, and James Horncastle, hosted by Mina Rzouki, all about the French, German, and Italian leagues. I consider those talking heads to be among the foremost experts on their respective leagues, so it should be a belter.

14 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

Is he particularly violent overall?

It was a definite red, but it was one of those reds that absolutely wasn't worth it. He just stood on his foot. Probably didn't even leave a scratch on him. Alli hammed it up, as you would.

If you're going to see red for sticking one on a prickly little gobshite (and Dele Alli absolutely is a prickly little gobshite who gets away with lots of sly acts of nastiness and is overdue being on the receiving end of a whopper of a late challenge) at least give him a good wallop. Start throwing punches, headbutts and squaring up to the whole team, like Joey Barton would.

The little I've seen of Shelvey, he just seems like an idiot. Not particularly nasty. Just brainless. He has bags of talent, but doesn't seem capable of connecting that talent to his head.

He's extremely nasty, and very fortunate to have only received three red cards throughout his career, I'd say. There were countless instances of him treating on opponents, throwing elbows, or firing into unnecessarily dangerous challenges last season, many of which drew only a yellow card, or nothing at all. I found Championship referees to be awful, and they let players away with a lot of dangerous shit.

His yellow card/minute ratio is on-par with Dennis Wise and David Batty, and worse than Roy Keane. A shame, as this is the one major factor preventing him from making it at a bigger club.

I like Jonjo Shelvey a lot, but he's a total dipshit. I'd probably like him a lot more if he played for a different club, though. I'm naturally drawn to flawed players who regularly mix the sublime with the ridiculous because they're always great entertainment, but it his hair trigger is a major problem, particularly when it costs us games. Not saying we'd have defeated Spurs had he stayed on the pitch, of course, but the red definitely changed the course of the match.

The trouble now is figuring out what to do with him. He was made captain at the start of the season because Jamaal Lascelles isn't very good, but there's no way he should retain the armband. We can't just drop him, though. With Shelvey, the good outweighs the bad. Yes, he's a violent moron, but he's also our best player. We looked extremely average without him last season, and while taking some kind of idealistic stand and discarding him sounds great, we must be pragmatic. We're going to struggle enough as it is and I don't think we can win the fight without our most creative player.

Ideally, Mikel Merino will come into the team, play an absolute blinder, and we won't need to put Shelvey back into the XI. I'd like to see Rafa play a Merino/Hayden combo with Siem de Jong in the #10, but given that Siem wasn't even on the bench yesterday, I guess Benitez doesn't trust his fitness. Who knows, though?

Yesterday was a pile of shite either way. Harry Kane and Matt Ritchie should've both seen red. Lejeune and Dummett both got injured. Mike Ashley gave a vanity interview on Sky Sports, and it doesn't sound like we're gonna spend. We're in deep shit already.

Huddersfield are going to make the hottest start of all the newly-promoted sides this season. They'll be the team that everyone gets excited by early, because they play some attractive football, but they'll probably fall off by the halfway point.

I thought there was a strong chance they'd woof Palace yesterday. Palace are in the process of transforming themselves from Pardew/Big Sam hoofball towards a more ground-based style under de Boer, while Huddersfield at energetic, in your face, and obviously buzzing about being in the Premier League. So it transpired.

Their coach, David Wagner, is essentially a more abrasive Klopp, which makes sense as they're best friends. The guy plays the same high-pressing, all-energy game, which can be fun to watch, but his side have a tendency to be cripplingly dull when they take their foot off the gas. Huddersfield were promoted with a goal difference of -2, and emerged from the playoffs without winning a single game in open play (they only scored once, too). They'll likely revert to similar strategies at times this season, and I think that that's when their slide will commence.

Wagner, like Klopp, will win a lot of fans in the media because he's a bit wacky and tends to speak his mind. This will be insufferable for a lot of people, because he's also a gargantuan cunt when things don't go his way. Klopp gets away with a lot of this kind of stuff too, but Wagner is next level: some of his gripes come close to Mourinho-esque levels of misery.

Excellent game last night. I'm quite bored of the entire Arsenal topic as a whole, but it's clear that their problems are far from solved. What the hell was that back three even supposed to be? It's not like Mustafi wasn't available, and hasn't Elneny been playing CB in pre-season? Lunatics.

He didn't show much last night, but I like the look of that Kolasinac. Looked a radgie bastard in the Community Shield. I heard a podcaster describe him as "exactly the kind of bastard Arsenal have been missing for years." Hope this is true.

Speaking of which, has anyone checked out James Richardson's new pod, The Totally Football show? First episode was pretty good. I could listen to that man narrate a shopping list though.

Podcasts in general, any good ones to check out? I used to like Football Weekly, but the new host is very bantz. Not a fan. The Final Third is a banger though.

This is a good, balanced evaluation of the Danny Rose situation that never veers into "wheeey, he's a money-grabbin' bastard innit?" territory. I hadn't really thought about how their financial structure has hindered them in the market. They're just about the only sensible club in a completely foolish market, and there's a chance they could now be overtaken for prioritising financial stability over hysteria. That's quite sad, really.

Reckon we might snatch a point off them this weekend.

Im not convinced about the Mourinho second season bounce this time. I honestly think that the game is passing him by. The reactive style that built his reputation won a big undefeated run last season, but it was probably the worst undefeated run of all time. His teams have been very blunt going forward for a couple of season now and I don't see Lukaku changing that.

The guy seems increasingly fed up with life every passing season, and he sounds super frustrated by the club's transfer market activity. I heard something about the Glazers getting all shaken up about Brexit, so I guess they're probably done in the market?

Or maybe I'm just biased because I think he's a big cunt. I dunno.

This is the most excited I've been about a Premier League in years.

Who's finishing in the top four, and who's going down? 

I'm going:-

1. City
2. Chelsea
3. Tottenham
4. United

And:-

18. Huddersfield
19. Burnley
20. Brighton

City, for me, have smartly strengthened their most problematic positions (both full-back spots) while adding to their stupidly deep collection of attacking midfielders. Not sure about the central defence, as John Stones' development isn't really where it should be, but Vincent Kompany's fitness will be a decisive factor - him and Otamendi looks a good pairing.

Chelsea have bought well, but I think they'll miss Matic (though his replacement seems a great player, but all accounts), and they may struggle if Morata doesn't adapt quickly. They've also lost a boatload of fringe players who could've provided depth during the season's busier periods.

I've got Tottenham at third because they're clearly a fantastic side, but haven't strengthened at all. Seen a bunch of people predicting United for the title, but I must be missing something there. They've added Lukaku, who's more athletic and will score more goals than Zlatan, but will contribute less to their overall play. Lindelof looks naff too, but Matic is a great acquisition.

Relegation-wise, I love Chris Hughton, but don't think he's strong enough for PL management. Brighton will sink like a stone. Huddersfield will start brightly and win plenty of new fans with their Klopp-lite style, but will ultimately falter towards the end. Burnley suck, Dyche sucks, and they've sold their best players. Get right in the bin.

10 hours ago, Lemonade said:

 

Got the ball. 

A perfectly executed Superman Punch tbh.

On 11/07/2017 at 10:59 AM, Soda Jerk said:

@Murrr the Hip Hop guru - You got any shouts for Grime that isn't terrible?

I like the odd track, Stormzy has a couple of bangers, and the boy Wiley has some really great flows, but then trying to listen to an album's worth of these guys, there's so many awful tracks - bordering on unlistenable, littered with some of the worst production I've ever heard. Some of it sounds like they've nabbed some loops off of Ejay. (remember EJAY?!)

Any more solid artists out there that have a bit of consistency? Preferably more on the aggro side, with nasty beats, but anything worth checking out really.

 

My impression of grime so far, of which is minimal, is that it doesn't lend itself well to the album format, and seems to be more focused on individual tracks. I'm hoping you can prove me wrong.

Not a fan to be honest man. I find the genre very regressive, particularly in the production. Beats after often paper-thin and completely devoid of depth and weight. The rappers, I find, are defined primarily by distractingly bad delivery. For a genre named "grime," I don't get much actual grime at all. I've never encountered a grime artist who portrays the struggle as well as more traditional hip-hop artists, and the bulk of the genre appears to be comprised of cartoonish nonsense like Dizzee Rascal and Giggs.

I'm generalising, but these seem to be common themes throughout most of the grime I've listened to, even among the genre's supposed leading lights.

Skepta's "Konnichiwa" album is full of bangers, though.

On 2017-6-15 at 9:52 PM, Soda Jerk said:

That does please my irrational and rather baseless dislike of Sunderland. Shit club with shit fans who leave in droves as soon as they concede a goal. I hope they're right. A consecutive relegation would be a right laugh.

Long post ahead - don't read it.

I'd really love them to do a Portsmouth - tumble all the way down the pyramid, then just rot down there forever. Not go out of existence entirely, as I'm sure there is a section of their support that isn't comprised entirely of dopes and weirdos, but for enough away for us to never have to play them in a league game again. They're a shambles, and I don't even take joy in their plight anymore.

They issued this mess of a statement the other day: https://www.safc.com/news/club-news/2017/june/update-on-manager-position

Ellis Short has been terrible for them, and any incoming board would obviously want "their guy" in the dugout, but the timing of this is just crazy to me. Entering a months-long takeover process during the most pivotal period of time in your club's recent history - a time that demands strong, assertive decision-making? Cool.

They're sleepwalking themselves into oblivion. I remember in January, when the board revealed there'd be no significant transfer budget, and Moyes said they wouldn't sign anyone who'd "make a difference." It's like they're perfectly cognisant of their situation, but don't want to do anything about it. Moyes had an air of defeat about him from the moment he walked in, and it got worse throughout the season. Now, the seemingly outgoing board are in the process of completely botching their new season, and if they stick around, there's no chance of the next manager being given a decent transfer budget.

Anyone, enough about those wretched cunts.

Interesting season ahead for Newcastle. Our squad isn't even close to good enough (personally, I don't even think we had the strongest group of players in the Championship last season), but we can't afford to do what we did last summer and turn 40-45 players over. We made a slow start to the league campaign as a direct result of that, and those lost points will be much harder to reclaim in the Premier League.

I feel like Rafa's brand of football will fare better against the PL's superior opposition, though. Last season's greatest struggles came when teams parked the bus and shut us out. Our system is quite reactive, and relies on staying disciplined while opposing teams attack, before moving forward and capitalising on any holes the leave behind. Obviously, teams will be more inclined to do that against us in the Premier League, which will probably see the squad overachieve somewhat.

Think we'll finish somewhere between 12-15th. For my money, we need a goalkeeper, centre back, left back, central midfielder, attacking midfielder, and left winger, plus a couple of extra bodies for the squad. A left flank of Dummett and Atsu/Gouffran won't cut it at this level. Shelvey needs a beefy partner who'll sit back during his forays. Happy to give Gayle a shot up front, as he was averaging a goal every 95 minutes (or something daft) in the Champ.

As long as we don't get relegated again, I'm happy tbh.

On 2017-6-15 at 9:52 PM, Soda Jerk said:

That does please my irrational and rather baseless dislike of Sunderland. Shit club with shit fans who leave in droves as soon as they concede a goal. I hope they're right. A consecutive relegation would be a right laugh.

I'd really love them to do a Portsmouth - tumble all the way down the pyramid, then just rot down there forever. Not go out of existence entirely, as I'm sure there is a section of their support that isn't comprised entirely of dopes and weirdos, but far enough away for us to never have to play them in a league game again. They're a shambles, and I don't even take joy in their plight anymore.

They issued this mess of a statement the other day: https://www.safc.com/news/club-news/2017/june/update-on-manager-position

Ellis Short has been terrible for them, and any incoming board would obviously want "their guy" in the dugout, but the timing of this is just crazy to me. Entering a months-long takeover process during the most pivotal period of time in your club's recent history - a time that demands strong, assertive decision-making? Cool.

They're sleepwalking themselves into oblivion. I remember in January, when the board revealed there'd be no significant transfer budget, and Moyes said they wouldn't sign anyone who'd "make a difference." It's like they're perfectly cognisant of their situation, but don't want to do anything about it. Moyes had an air of defeat about him from the moment he walked in, and it got worse throughout the season. Now, the seemingly outgoing board are in the process of completely botching their new season, and if they stick around, there's no chance of the next manager being given a decent transfer budget.

With all that in mind, I'm not surprised McInnes said "no." Sounds like a disastrous environment at the moment. Definitely a tough season ahead for Aberdeen, though. Hayes' qualities are obvious, and I'm a big fan of Ryan Jack too, even though much of the support turned on him as soon as he became captain. I think McGinn will be the toughest to replace. He was inconsistent, and probably not quite as important to the team as a Jack or Hayes, but he was about the only non-Celtic player in the league capable of changing a game entirely on his own. If I were a PFM, I'd say something about "a little bit of magic." Very, very difficult to sign a player with his qualities on an SPFL budget.

I've a lot of time for Arsene Wenger and what he has accomplished at Arsenal, but he has certainly ran his course and probably should have left several season ago. I want him to depart purely to raise the standard of football "banter" across the internet. "lol wenger" has become a pretty tedious meme. It's not quite as bad as "lol liverpol havenot won da title in 40 years!!!!!! crylaugh emoji" but it's definitely up there. Get in the bin, Mr. Arsene.

I'm so glad that us an Sunderland are going to pass each other on the way up/down. That really capped-off a successful season for us. Utterly sick of the derby. I like a bit of good-natured trolling as much as anyone, but I'm pretty tired of the bile and venom those games tend to provoke. I hope they rot in hell, and we never play them again.

2 hours ago, Jaaakkkeee said:

It's April 7, I'm expecting some Kendrick news today.

The "news" was a pre-order and an April 14th release date.

He done us a bamboozle. 

My AOTY so far, and it's only 8 tracks long. So good to have Freddie Gibbs back.

Some fucking bangerz have came out of the Aberdeen hip-hop scene over the years, ladz. Who can forget this slab of wonderment?

I voted yes last time, and while I definitely won't be able to vote in a second referendum, I'd likely vote yes again, primarily for the reasons outlined by Adam and Jake above. 

That being said, while the political argument for independence is very compelling, the economic argument most certainly isn't. In fact, the economic case for independence is paper-thin. Our public finances are not in great shape, the oil crash remains a concern, and our GDP is growing at a rate far slower than the rest of Britain. Our budget deficit is over twice as large as Britain's, too. This means either immoral tax hikes or cuts in public spending, which would be a tough pill to swallow after years of Westminster-induced austerity.

Ultimately I think that the political case outweighs the economic case, and this is too great an opportunity to throw away again. I also think that most people would be willing to accept a few years of economic hardship in exchange for independence. Definitely something to ponder, however, unless there's a compelling counter argument that I'm not taking into account?

I can't really do the funk-thrash, to be honest. Even the prog thrash gets me down. I don't want to hear the bass so high in the mix. I want my thrash to be thrashin', just like Shutterspeed were grungin', innit?

That cheeky Woodsinho scamp got me in the mood for all kinds of nutty thrash metal, so I fired-up the new Kreator record - GODS OF VIOLENCE. It's an absolute hoot. Pretty dumb, of course, particularly with song titles like Satan Is Real, World War Now, and my personal favourite - HAIL TO THE HORDES - but tonnes of fun. Pretty nuts that these guys are cranking out the best music of their career 35 years after forming.

Freddie Gibbs' comeback record is out on the 31st too, for those of you interested in men who do hip-hop.

On 24/02/2017 at 0:18 PM, Woodsinho said:

Power Trip - Nightmare Logic. It's a thrash metal album that's up there with the best from the NINETEEN EIGHTIES

 

This is fucking smacking.

Man, how maddening is this Ranieri debate? I genuinely don't understand how people can argue against his sacking given the club's form under his leadership. It looked decisively like he was getting the club relegated, and since when do sentimentality and loyalty trump the crippling impact relegation can have on a club's long-term fortunes?

One argument I keep hearing is that the players have let him down. That's probably true, and the likes of Mahrez and Vardy have almost certainly grown complacent after winning the league and earning the security of big money contracts. Shouldn't it be the coach's job to help them escape that mindset, however, and get them motivated again?

It's a shame that he had to go out like that, but Ranieri will now be remembered as the guy who pulled-off a miraculous title victory, not as a guy who won the league then got relegated the following season. Facts don't care about your feelings, and factually, Leicester were one of the worst teams in the league under his management.