Scootray

You sound friendly.

Who said he had a new job though?

Lack of attention to detail is also why you got sacked for being a shite mod.

A work colleague of mine today shockingly announced that her iPhone memory was full of pics. She has over 5500 on there and I will guarantee that includes over 2000 selfies. I've never seen anyone take as many pics of themself. I'll be on a bus with her chatting away and next she's fixing her hair whilst using her phone as the mirror and before you know it that's another five added to the collection. It's fucked up.

Guarantee there's ones you're not allowed to see either.

I love Rangers.

Fat Sally's salary actually increases now he's given notice.

Why would he not have had sex in the hallway? Is this commonly known as a sacred room where no sex shall take place?

Cool story.

First example is called being a dick. Second example is technically anti-social by not being sociable.

Same thing though. To be unsociable is to be anti social, no?

Some could say that about music though. There's plenty hipster wanks that do exactly the same with music.

My cat died this morning. I'm gutted.

Big people know how to set the timer on the hot water heater.

This.

Heisenberg and blue candy? Wtf is this? 2013?

PERSONAL INSULT ALERT

What's the best late night takeaway in town?

Yer mas

A bit more details like where and when?

Thanks.

Asking for a friend, ideally an Irish (polish) date in October (lucky rathen - you got any contacts in Poland selling?

If not, tickets for over here would be fine.

Surveyor is the best option.

have a nice day

Had to chuckle at this, sorry.

Deathcore/ metalcore band, rarrrrr. Have a nice day

You have a weird face

That 3M tape stuff may do the job too

When people go up to you in a shop when you are off duty and ask things like "do you know where the pea's are?" even when I am not in uniform.

I bet you don't even know where the peas are.

Jim White is a cunt.