Moshulu Rob

yeah and less than a month ago the Conservative leaning Supreme court confirmed that a similar case with:

Same Back Ground (military rather than Government public service), no prior convictions, exact same offence etc etc was a fair sentance. And he got 3 months more than Scooter.

"The Artist Formerly Known as Prince should know that with behaviour like this he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores. And I say that to all the other artists who may be tempted to dally with the Mail on Sunday."

Hang on, isn't it his fucking music to do whatever he wants with? And I'm pretty certain the stores have done quite nicely out of prince selling albums over the years

My sister was campaigning at the festival to sell the first official Madeleine McCann wristbands too, so the organisers told us to throw a load of them on stage during the acts in between songs for publicity....

Oh for fucks sake. It's one kid. Sure its a shame, but hows about the 600,000 dead iraqis no one gives a fuck about.

man u play good fitba. chelsea don't.

Plus, Chelsea have a buncha diving basturts in their side.

And then there's Mr Mourinho...

love from christy

a drummer should be able to make people dance.

love from christy

Is it reasonable to expect Newcastle to become title challengers in the next twelve months though?

Are you having a giggle? Newcastle are so far behind the top four it's quite amusing. They are at least five years away from a title challenge. They have gone for a mid-table manager who has made mid-table signings because they're a mid-table team.

A fully fit Owen (wishful thinking), perhaps Martins and Given are the only players who are good enough for the Champions League. They don't have any quality at the back and fuck all in midfield. All this talk of Newcastle being a big team makes me laugh. They are shite. Sleeping giant? Fucking comatose, more like.

Love from christy

I'd be interested to have a look at one and fill it out too if you want. PM me.

Simple things amuse simple people.

Love from Cairnsy

xxx

Simple, yeah? Well, yer ma's shite!

Haud at in yer face

love from christy x

Hopefully a couple of Hans Guilhaus's (if thats the correct spelling)! and not a couple of Peter Van Der Arks!!!

Come on now! Peter van der Ark? You're mixing your shit, moustachioed midfielders with your inept beanpole strikers!

Although, big Willem was a bit of a cult hero. Not quite sure why, but hey...

love from christy

It's not sold out, tickets available on the door

Rob

that's alright by me - i always think that 1030 is too early.

any idea of stage times?

no, we'll sort that out tomorrow afternoon with the tour manager depending on what he wants.

Anyone got any ideas of stage times tomorrow?

are we subject to the infamous Moshulu curfew of 1030 or 1100 or whatever?

no club night, so no curfew, but probably finish about 11.00 like any other gig in the country

We used to have Crown but the brewers stopped stocking it.

On the plus side i'm in Sydney at the moment so i'm just going to pop off for a schooner of Carlton.

Which is nice

x

Problem with most of this stuff is that the bands agent sets the ticket price, so while I think some of our shows would be better attended with lower priced tickets there is often not much we can do.

R

heheh

I thought he worked behind the bar...

Nope flyerboy. Doubt he could reach the beer taps to be honest.

I think he's still upset because we sacked him from being a flyerboy last year.

thought it was funny as fuck as well, well worth a watch.

jamesy x

Well either it was him, or he's been boasting about something he didn't do to some birds he was trying to pull.

Either way it's not the smoothest move I've ever seen.

From the horses mouth ...

Nah, it wasnae him, he was just stirring as per...

some of it is quite funny, but most is harsh as fuck...

ooops. busted.

Thanks, we know and have told them. They are going to change the link.

Thanks Mark

Now if you want to make a REALLY big impression, then there some special options that may be applied, however please be aware that there is usually only time to complete one of these before the alarm is raised. Trust me, these are so hysterically funny that they will have the bog owner rolling about on the floor in stiches... er not.

a) After wiping your arse proceed to smear the used toilet paper all over the walls.

b) Lock the door of the cubicle, then climb back over and boot the door in thus breaking the lock. Now nobody else can lock the door hee hee, and they'll have to hold it shut while they shit hah hah!

c) Crap on the floor of the cubicle then discretely camoflage it with toilet tissue.

d) Kick the whole tolet pot off the floor. This breaks the U-bend and the next time someone shits it ends up on the floor giving them a real good chuckle.

e) Boot the cistern off the wall, then the inflow continuously pours water into the toilets until they flood.

f) Block the sinks with toilet paper then turn the taps on. If the taps are push downs then stamping on them will jam them open.

f) ii) Block the urinal with toilet paper. Whoa!

g) Set fire to anything made of plastic so that it melts.

h) Locate the mains water inflow pipe, and lever it off the wall then break it open, this will flood out the whole premises in just a few minutes.

i) If you have a couple of mates handy then it should be possible for a group effort to boot down the parition walls of the cubicles.

j) Rip the coat hook of the cubicle door and ram into into the hot air dryer until it jams and burns out the motor.

k) Pull out the entire roll of blue towel (this may take a few minutes but you can be discrete) then dump it in the urinal.

l) Pump all the soap out of the dispensor and channel it onto the floor, or better still into the toilet so that it foams over after it's flushed.

m) Use your pint glass to destroy the lightbulbs, plunging the bogs into darkness.

n) Pick your nose and wipe your bogies all over the tiles. Gob on the a few times too.

o) Vomit into the urinal, as this will not flush away and has to be removed by hand.

p) Stem bleeding to your face using the entire handtowel roll, then throw it in the urinal.

q) Bend the door closer upwards jamming the toilet door open.

r) Set fire to the paper towels in the dispensor, you can make this even more effective by throwing your glass of spirits over the towels first.

s) And finally... smash the mirror by hurling your pint glass through it.

That is all. Just for the record, everything in this list has been unleashed on us at some point during the past 5 years.

You missed my personal favourite, A used tampon stuck to the mirror in the ladies...

Blimey Jamesy, why not let us all know what you really think...

For the record I think the Moorings bogs are possibly as perfect as it gets.

And yeah Dave, lets hope he didn't read my PM's where I am talking to his replacement ...

Jamesy here.. (please note I'm fully expecting an immature response talking about coapy baps, my poofy hair or my fat arse - i expect no more from a washed up attention seeker like yourself...)

I want to see decent bands in clean establishments for a decent fee, I don't want to spend over 15 watching some pissed up has been reliving past glories as they drunkenly stagger around the stage in The Lemon Tree or Tunnels .

First things first Bizmark - Aren't 16 Again a overs band that base themsleves on pulling in punters on OTHER peoples past glories anyways? And how many times has a gig at The Tunnels actually been 15, I can't remember one...

I attend a hell of a lot of gigs, and it's interesting that down south punters do not have to put up with the shit they get in Aberdeen - Moshulu is a stinky sticky mess, I got so fed up of being stuck to the floor I stopped going. It's not hard to see why people never go to gigs - attitudes towards bands and punters are shocking.

Moshulu, The Tunnels and The Lemon Tree as always venues touring bands love coming back to - because they're great venues that provide an astonishingly high level of hospitality for acts and also bring in good crowds that are well up for it. You've experienced English crowds and hospitality and they don't compare to up here, not in the slightest.

Secondly, you need to get over this carpet thing. For the record, Moshulu, as of 3 months back, gets the carpet industrially cleaned once a month by a specialist with a special van mounted machine thing.

Thirdly, you stopped going to gigs that you never paid for (that's right ladies and gents - our favourite bizmark here is rfr's number one freeloading bastard that I personally guestlist with however many folks he wants, simply because it's easier to do that than take all the hassle i get otherwise from him, as if i don't have anything better to do than listen to his repetitive whining) because of a carpet? Some music lover you are - if a band i liked were playing in Aberdeen anywhere - even in peep peeps fucking toilets - i'd be there to see them.

And attitudes to bands and punters - coming from the naive sexist that openly badgered The Hot Puppies keyboardist and kept telling her how he (The forty odd year old stoner...) would love to shag her - let's not even mention the Amy Sawyers post and all else...

C'mon, you're a fucking joke. Aberdeen is fucking ace, and bands love coming here. Maybe if local bands showed a little more ambition and willingness to graft, then promoters would open their arms a little more. If I had a quid for every time an Aberdeen band had convinced me how much they wanted on a certain bill with a certain band and how hard they'd work if I helped them out, then pulled about 5 people, I wouldn't be here reading your arrogant self-righteous horseshit.

Love and Kittens,

Young James.