New Found Power

Yes, but I was just trying to make the point blatantly clear, to save somebody copy-pasting this somewhere else on the internet and continuing a Von Neumann-esque chain of retarded scientific thought. That, and I really fucking hate the weekly world news.

You got punk'd, son! Weekly World News is a spoof news site, sort of like The Onion. However, due to the painfully unfunny nature of their shitty articles, they occasionally get posted on "real" newslines like this one. And anyway, that article is over a year and a half old. Don't you think there would be more coverage than this one article by now?

Where did you find this?

"...Of The Opera" Phantom, or "The Ghost Who Walks" Phantom? Because I'm not sure if he'd suit all that purple.

This one time I got so drunk I lost all grasp of the english language.

You're seriously just having a Vice night? That's spectacularly disappointing.

"Taylor Behl, a student from Virginia, has been found murdered. The prime suspect, Ben Fawley claims to be an amateur photographer and is being held by authorities." News Article Crimelibrary story Apparently she knew this guy through Myspace and livejournal, and him being an "amatuer photographer", he took her out for a "photoshoot" in the woods and promptly murdered her. Oh, and he's since been thrown into jail for possesion of child pornography. Moral of the story: don't go into secluded places with freaks from the internet. Jesus Christ.

Good lord...not only do they have weapons of mass destruction and black-ops training, now dolphins can apparently force Homer Simpson to do their bidding.

Funny thing being that his wife forced him to sell his $1.5M comic collection because she didn't like them, but had no problem with naming their child that.

I almost started a thread to use the word "Random" out of context on the internet, but then I realised what a useless waste of time that would be and instead killed myself with a belt sander and arranged for my remains to be shot into the sun.

...And even if it were true, how likely is it that the Dolphins were just swimming about in their holding tank, armed to the teeth with their sophisticated dolphin anti-terrorist weaponry while a hurricane was swiftly approaching?

That sounds like terrorist talk to me.

This is clearly the correct answer.

And I wonder what they'll do with the Wallace Monument?

Boy should probably murder girl, do what he wanted to girl anyway while she's still warm, then bury girl in the garden.

Polyphonic ringtones and a camera.

Oh Yahoo, when will you stop using the Weekly World News as a source? For those not in the know, it's taken directly from a parody news site. It's like the BBC 6 o'clock news sourcing stories from The Onion, for Chirst's sake.

Are you familiar with the old robot expression, "DOES NOT COMPUTE"?

It's just NOT funny. Not funny even once, never mind repeated over and over for two hours. OMG BUT IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S OFFENSIVE!!!11!

Fucking hell, that's some resemblance to Phat Tom.

Dinosaur is, in actual fact, mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to shoot myself and everyone around me.

3rd year Pharmacology at Aberdeen. Here's hoping for slightly less 9am lectures this year...