Kai

The two cassettes I always remember my dad having in the car are Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here and Wings - Venus & Mars.

I'm gonna see them on May 2nd in London so ner! Tempted to go to Glasgow as well actually, it should be an ace gig at The Garage.

'Here min, are you looking at my mate? Wanna take this ootside?' Quality. Don't tell me, is your dad also harder than my dad? By the way, I heard that your mate's dog looked at my mate's dog funny and tried to sniff its balls. I'm not happy and I want something done about it.

He's just jealous cos he wasn't there at the time.

Aye, steady on. When these two kids get out of jail, they will hopefully have learned from their mistakes and be ready to get on with their lives. if you had your way, they would be 50 years old (300,000 divided by 2 = 150,000. Paying off 5,000 a year would take 30 years) by the time their debt to 'society' was repaid. They're arsonists, not murderers. No one got hurt, justice was done.

Scene points deducted for repetition.

No. A covering letter just says 'Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm employing for the position as lap-dancer in your strip-bar, as advertised in the Press & Journal. Enclosed is a copy of my CV and a pair of used panties. Should you require anything else, please don't hesitate to get in touch.'

My flight from Heathrow to Aberdeen has been cancelled for some inexplicable reason and the subsequent flight delayed, so I have been trying to find ways to amuse myself in the departure lounge. So far I have bought a bottle of 1995 Dom Perignon in the duty-free shop and ordered a robotic vacuum cleaner over the internet. Pretty pointless, but hey at least I should have a clean flat to go back to. I'm starting to run out of ideas now, so I'm off for a wank in the toilets.

Well you see, I don't actually have a mind of my own. I just do what the NME tells me to do. I didn't realise that by purchasing a Babyshambles ticket I was helping fund international terrorisim, not to mention Pete's crack habit. Shit. I take it now's not the best time to mention the 'Pete Doherty Is Innocent' poster I bought at the gig for my mate in Aberdeen?

Aww, is he not metal enough for you?

I just got back from the Babyshambles gig at Brixton Academy this evening, and it was eventful to say the least. To be honest, I don't know much about the band's music but I thought I'd give them a chance, and see if there was anything behind all the hype. And even if Pete never showed up, I figured it could be an interesting nite out. I bought a ticket from a tout outside the tibe station and made my way into Brixton Academy. It was packed. Think Exodus on a Friday nite x1000, with retro leather jackets and bed-heads everywhere I looked. My ticket was for the seated area upstairs, which wasn't what I wanted. There was no atmosphere at all, and the stage was miles away so I walked out the venue and bought another ticket from a tout, this time for the standing area. At 9.10, Babyshambles came onstage and launched into a note-perfect version of 'Killamangiro'. Pete looked healthy (by his standards anyway), and the band seemed to be enjoying themselves. They had to stop their set briefly to get the crowd to move back, as people were being suffocated at the front. Once that was sorted, everything was great. Mid-way through their fourth song, however, mayhem broke loose when Babyshambles' guitarist, pissed off with Pete for no apparent reason, kicked the singer in the back. Pete immediately turned round, threw down his mic, dived on top of the guitarist and started throwing punches. Security dragged them both off stage, the lights came on and that seemed to be the premature end to another Babyshambles gig. Five minutes later, however, and the band were back onstage. Their differences seemed to have been resolved (presumably their management had told them to get their act together before Pete got into trouble for breaking his bail conditions), and the rest of the gig passed without incident. Perhaps it was all just another publicity stunt - I've no idea - but it certainly made for a memorable evening. And the music wasn't bad either. I wonder what The Sun will have to say about 'Ex-Junkie Pete' in the morning's paper...

Since my father is dead, I think that Father's Day should also be abolished. It's just cruel.

No, it was anal-log.

I found a wrist-watch in my ass once. I've no idea how it got there.

Yeah, I didn't realise that Luke Mitchell had volunteered to take part in the medical trials.

Just as an aside, I've only met two people from Westhill before and they were both idiots. Using your flawless reasoning, I have reached the logical conclusion that everyone from Westhill must therefore be an idiot. I also knew this black guy, but then he went to jail and I haven't seen him since then. Still, what do you expect?

Dunno. Coheed & Cambria are also playing.

Pete Doherty's been charged with blackmail and robbery. I feel a bit sorry for him to be honest. It's his fault he got into this mess in the first place, but the press aren't exactly helping with matters. Of course he's gonna give 'exclusive' interviews with The Sun, The Mirror and every other shitty tabloid because that's what pays for his next hit. And Kate Moss is just an idiot. She's only seeing Pete Doherty because he's a 'cool' junkie and because he adds a bit of danger to her otherwise mundane existence.

Anyone thinking of going to this gig? Monday 2nd May @ Alexandra Palace in London. Bands playing include Funeral For a Friend, Finch, Rise Against, Alexisonfire, Lucky 9, Emanuel & Fightstar.

I really enjoyed Silverstein. It was just a decent gig all round. There's a Victory Records sampler CD for The Black Maria on the counter in One Up. It's also got a load of other bands on it, including Silverstein. It's worth checking out, cos even if you don't like them after hearing the CD, at least you've not wasted money on an album you'll never listen to.

Are Silverstein still playing?

Ma Cameron's and Blackfriars all the way.

I've liked Silverstein for ages, so I wanna see as many people as possible at the gig. I've offered to flier and poster for it as well, it's the first Kef gig in ages I've looke forward to.