Kai

I seem to have missed the all-important cut-off date as well, so I'm not too bothered if I'm not allowed to play for proper points. I'll just be happy if some of these cunts snuff it this year. My ineligible team is as follows: Die Or I'll Kill You 1. Tommy Sheridan (JOKER) 2. Peter Tobin 3. Stephen Griffiths (Crossbow Cannibal) 4. Charlie Sheen 5. The Queen 6. Julian Asange 7. Nelson Mandela 8. Margaret Thatcher 9. George Bush sr. 10. Aung San Suu Kyi 11. Robert Mugabe 12. Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi 13. Jimmy Hill 14. Jackie Charlton 15. Michael Barrymore 16. Rosemary West 17. John McCain 18. Tony Benn 19. Chuck Berry 20. BB King

Does anyone have any suggestions as to which insurers are best for covering musical equipment? I don't think I've ever insured anything in my life, but having finally assembled some decent studio equipment, I'm kind of anxious not to lose it in a hurry.

That is actually the best idea yet. Thusfar, my 'mate' and his girlfriend have resorted to making use of the Douglas Hotel's dayrate (30 so long as you're out by 5pm), but booking a rehearsal room makes so much more sense. Stick a couple of amps against the door to prevent anyone walking in, plug your iPod through the PA so it sounds like you're playing sweet music, and off you go!

Thankfully most of the least best films I've ever seen were so forgettable I can't remember them. I do recall wasting 90 minutes of my wasted life on some rom-com atrocity called Along Came Polly involving Jennifer Aniston and a ferret, or perhaps Jennifer Aniston was the ferret, who knows?

Shake-Shake A Shake-Shakeamania Dunno if Lucky Rathven's thread about Shakeamania is still kicking about somewhere, but for anyone who cares, it's closing down in three days time, and all their shakes are down to 1.50. Went past today for the first - and sadly probably last - time and had a fine Milky Way concoction.

Hmm..if one of those sightings occured on a Halloween about 8 years ago and the two protagonists were dressed as a vampire and an alien zombie bride respectively, it was probably my bobbing bum assailing your visual senses, you lucky thing!

The last time 'my mate' found himself in this predicament, a couple of weekends back, he stumbled across a very pleasant straw bale field just outside Inverurie that was very conducive to holding hands, lying back and looking up at the sky, marvelling at the incongruous cloud shapes and the even more incongruous places that one can end up picking the straw out of hours later. The only trouble is that my mate can't pass a straw bale field on the train now without springing a spontaneous semi.

My 'mate' says he's on Job Seeker's Allowance and thus can't afford a hotel. In my mate's experience, some of the classiest birds get off on being shagged in the most insalubrious places.

I've got this mate, right, and he's living with his parents at the moment and thus isn't allowed to 'entertain' his girlfriend whenever she comes back from uni to visit him. So my mate was wondering if anyone could recommend any secluded spots in Aberdeen that were conducive to... y'know... getting reacquainted without risking arrest for indecent exposure

Gosh, the madness simply never ends on your kerrazy nights out! Next you'll be telling us you saw someone throwing up in the taxi rank as well o_O

That's akin to girls who use the sun beds before they go on holiday cos they don't want to expose their white legs on the beach while sun bathing.

I'm not averse to a bit of clit banging, but Cilit Bang just doesn't do it for me.

If you aren't comfortable with the idea of feeling your balls, feel someone else's instead.

Tiny Dancers

I used to think the Music Association Game thread was the gayest thing on aberdeen-music. But then I discovered this.

You know, I've yet to experience the live spectacle that is Estrella with their inimitable brand of stadium rock/pub rock/cock rock [delete according to personal opinion.] However, they seem to be unique in being the only band on this messageboard to consistently get people talking, and for that I doff my metaphorical cap to them. After a prolonged absence from aberdeen-music.com, I returned to this website expecting things to be just as I had left them. And in many respects they were, only now it appears to be impossible to get any sort of debate going without the thread being locked/edited/moved to an obscure forum where no one will read it. The only reason why everyone has an opinion on Estrella is because sadly it's the only chance they get these days to vent some steam on this forum. Estrella don't peddle pub rock; they peddle cathartic rock. Don't you find you always feel better after adding your ten cents to an Estrella themed thread? It's almost as good as having a wank.

Or is it porn?

Here's hoping. Edit: It would appear someone has already beaten me to posting this. Still, it's such good news, it deserves two threads.

For your friends' argument to be valid, I take it then you were a virgin the first time you walked up the aisle? Otherwise, I guess technically speaking you didn't qualify to wear the virginal white dress the first time round either.

For $1 million a week, I'd suck Saddam Hussein's rotting cock. Mind you, I'm so hard up for cash right now, I'd probably do it for a fiver.

Rise Against @ Glasgow QMU in May

Ah, David Rowson. The footballing world mourns his disappearance without a trace.

Telegraph | Sport | Rangers opt for McCoist and Smith Seems like Walter Smith and Coisty have got the job.

I should point out that I only support single mums when they're bouncing on top of me to pay for their crack habit.

I support single mums, the legalization of cannabis and Aberdeen FC.