Nicky Ca$ino

You are a lightweight I suppose. Three spritzers later and you're dancing on the tables.

So who was the most drunk that night?

Re: Re: Re: New ABerdeen Metal Band You better, I think I'm carrying your baby. When are you going to make an honest barman of me?

He better be stunningly handsome too, or that's my little theory out the window. (But Nick, he started as a drummer so you could use that as an excuse. Well spotted Mr. Ca$ino, you're the best. Right back at-cha, baby.)

Should I start filming my acceptance speech video, or is there going to be a live satellite link-up? I could write a letter if that would be more convenient.

Um... I can give you one ; they always dedicated a song to me whenever they played (Dr.) Drakes... or was that Pen15? Anyway, great bunch of lads, the bassist sold me a whippet once, lost it's first race, I sold it for dogfood. My gran's got to eat something for God's sake!

What about Demolition? Ax, Smash, Crush!

Ah yes, you all may be short/average (height) but I'm betting you're all "stunna"s. And if you're not, go find yourselves a couple of sticks and a bisciut tin. *Deep intake of breath; get ready for the backlash (or back beat *[arf!])

Uh... exception that proves... no, um, inner beau... nope, how about, fit liken gorgeous? How you doin'? Wid ye like me tae escort ye tae the toilet? (works every time kids, try it)

The bass is easy to play but you do tend to get lumped in with the drummers in social situations and no-body wants that. Also, you have to be really tall and/or good-looking to be a bassist. I think it's a tradition, or an old charter or something.

That was me! Yeah, I wrote that. Ages ago... honest, guv.

D.I.Y. = Do It Yousef! Nothin' better than having a young Morrocan boy pander to your every need.

Unusual for Drakes to be advertising another venues gig... I'm afraid that's a 20 pound fine Mr. Youngson.

Park bench + couple bottles of Buckie = can't beat it.

First drink in 6 days, they cut me off after 3 drinks though. I don't look like I'm over 19? "Why Mr. Barman. are you trying to seduce me?" "I'm a woman. You've had enough, get out." And I did get out, not before swearing a mighty oath of vengeance though, that'll learn 'em.

Excerp from Seth Wars: Return of the Barman Inside Dr. Drakes Casino: Hey, Brian. Look, Brian, I was just on my way to pay you back, but I got a little sidetracked. It's not my fault. Brian laughs. Brian: It's too late for that, Casino. You may have been a good barman, but now you're Bantha fodder. Casino: Look... Brian: Take him away! The guards grab Casino and start to lead him away. Casino: Brian... I'll pay you triple! You're throwing away a fortune here. Don't be a fool! Casino is dragged off, as Ziggy quickly moves forward and attempts to lead Sharon away.

I'd give it to you Brian, but then... I'd give everything to you; the moon, the stars, the world. I feel a poem coming on.

The staples got stuck in my teeth, oh wait... there were no staples. Shoddy. I still haven't (and probably won't) paid for my copy yet. HAHAHA you'll never take me alive.

It would've been, except for one small thing... (Sad as this sounds) I'm going to have a plaque made up to commemorate the last drink I'll ever serve. The last lucky customer will receive this with much in the way of pomp and splendour, as it should be.

Nicky Ca$i-who?

You grave-robbing bastard! I'm not even gone and you're trying to muscle in on my patch, why you... Lester did you mention a present? Hell! Now I'm going to quit every week!

Sexy, sexy! What about the pictures of those two kissing naked?

*sniff* You love me. You really love me! Y'know, some people can't wait to see the back of me... then they remember how good the front looks and ask me to turn 'round again.

I, Nicky Ca$ino, Barman of the Year 2001/2002, Hardcore on the Door Champ 2003, hereby renounce my loyalty to (Dr.) Drakes. As of the first of January I will no longer be an employee of (Dr.) Drakes. To the millions, annnnnnd millions, of Ca$ino fans; I love you all, it's been a gas.

MerryChristmas you're barred. Never show your stinkin' goaty-face in Drakes again.