Paulscoconutass

Avoid the trap of being another guy whining about his exes and how much they mean to him; this is +90% of the open mic demography.

Adam: a film about a guy with asperger syndrome who meets his new female neighbour and their time together. Not convinced? Neither was I when I read the synopsis. Both leads are outstanding, which makes the film more believable, and there's loads subtle and glaring comedy moments. Look out for Ervin Burrell (the Wire), and Adam himself looks like Mr Prezbo!!! Not your classical Hollywood Rom-Com, but well worth checking out. Score: 8/10 Antichrist: Ive made it my business to see all of Lars Von Triers films because he pushes the envelope of style and content. This one's essentially a film too far. With all the needless violence, sex and symbolism it feels like a slow burning Hostel or Saw flick. Technically it seemed a waste of the mighty Red One cameras used and things like the GCI animals / talking fox are ridiculous!!! The actings the only redeeming part of this, but I suspect this film will be a stain on both their careers. They've made tamer snuff films... Score: 2/10

The film Spun is all about Crystal Meths if I remember correctly... nasty shit I absolutely love Louis Theroux and think he's been one of the most watchable people on television in the last 5 years. My only bother is that they must give some of the people filmed a cash incentive (or something similar) to get them to speak so openly about illegal things on film... wouldn't take a genius to figure out what most of the people on last night's show would have spent their money on. The wrestling episode's one of my favourites.

Chaos (2006): Statham, Snipes and Ryan Philippe playing off each other in a film about a complicated bank robbery. At no point did I think it was shit or ace Score: 5/10 The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford: The title pretty much sums up this film twice as long as it had to be. At 2:40 I thought thered be a lot to get through this wasnt the case. Should have been great, but was mauled by the pace. Score: 3/10 The savages: Marketed as a black comedy, it's just grim though. Look out for Chris Hitman Partlow (from The Wire) playing a care worker casting FAIL! Doesnt cut it as the Todd Solondz-esqu black comedy it was marketed as. Ignore the critics! Score: 4/10 Run Fat Boy Run: the first 20 minutes teed the film up nicely but after that it rapidly digressed into an utterly predictable and unfunny folly. Full of British stereotypes, unoriginal slapstick jokes, and follows an ultra safe, tried-and-tested formula. Score: 3.5/10 Assembly: an epic Chinese film of one mans struggle through two wars and his quest for recognition of his fallen soldiers. Makes Private Ryan look like a scouts training exercise. Its brutal but humane, and Zhang Hanyus performance is utterly jaw-dropping. Score: 7.5/10 Full reviews here, ken

Wondering if anybody else still listens to Papa Roach, as in their newer albums. They've been doing the rounds on Scuzz / Kerrang since 2000 (Last Resort / Angels & Insects etc) with some great staple rock tunes. Not as heavy as they used to be, and they're lyrics have a lot to be desired but they still write damn-good tunes! Any other takers?

Last time I was him was with a crazy college band playing the tunnels a few weeks back. I think he's joining the navy or something soon, which is a shame as he'd be a shit-hot session musician!

Nick DeVries "Hairy bear" is the best local drummer I've seen play live... could out-drum any other local I've seen play.

Memorabilia drawer: it's packed with footy / music / wrestling and nostalgic items... loads of the stuff is signed, limited edition, or both. Would be gutted if I lost this!

A good game to play is check the articles and see how often they tie completely unrelated stories back to something local, my favourite ones go like... ... his father once owned a chipper in the north east. ... he once ate an Aberdeen Angus steak ... she is a supporter of the woodside 'ghosties' football club ... she once got a connecting flight to Scatsta from Aberdeen airport ... Their great, great, great grandparents were from the highlands ... etc I've not bought a single issue of the paper as it NEVER has an upbeat front page that makes me want to pick it up. There'll always be a road smash / paedophile / blood stain / bruised pensioner / weapon / dangerous-looking domestic pet / crying baby / mangled bicycle / injured sports personality / damaged home / angry drunkard / that idiot stripper guy on the front with a sensational tagline involving the word's "Fear", "Terror", "Ordeal", "Murder" or something similar. The only exceptions are sun & snow - although my house has windows, so I can see that anyway.

Got a leaflet through for these folk in work today... may be worth a looky: Tierra Data Recovery Your data recovered.

Sexy film, definitely one of Bernal and Luna's best films. No Country for Old Men: Javier Bardem stole the show for me as a believably chilling psychopath, although Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones both nailed their characters with conviction. The story's brilliant, and has the trademark Coen brothers look, feel and occasional black comedy moments. There's also a couple few scenes where the suspense is unbearable, something that's hard to pull off. Set in 1980, it says a lot about the new-age crime, criminals and violence at the time and how traditional police struggle to solve, or even understand it. The last 30 minutes are quite weak, and the loose ends will annoy some people. Top-drawer film that it well worth watching. Score: 8/10 The Reader: coming-of-age story of one man's lifelong obsession with a book-loving dyslexic nazi lesbian paedophile war-criminal. Loads of ethical questions raised about the Holocaust and the guilt of Germany's next generation. Kross Fiennes, and Winslet all acted well, but the latter two had weak German accents (Vy do oll jermens tolk like zeis?). In General, I always think it's quite off how big studios think that UK/US actors with slight accents dupe audiences into believing the film is set there. You can tell it's a well-made film, but it's definitely one for the girls as it's essentially a drawn-out, banal love story. Score: 4/10 Eastern Promises: the fact that an 'everywoman' nurse and her plain old family are part of the main cast I thought this film was going to be a at least a bit realistic... but when thing like the sci-fi violence hits the screen it's comically out-of-place. At least there's a shower scene you'll never forget. Also, why cast French, American, German and British actors to play Eastern Europeans? Vincent Cassel... the most quintessential french bit-part actor... a Russian?!?! Overall, I was pretty disappointed that the guy who brought us sci-fi classics like Videodrome, the Scanners, Dead Zone has ended up going down the road of mundane Steven King type thrillers. Loads of plot holes and just couldn't take it seriously. Score: 3/10 Loads more reviews here

BBC NEWS | Technology | Broadband rates 'not up to speed' Good table half way down the page that compares ISP speeds.

'Rad To The Power Of Sick' BMX Bike Actually (Successful) Experiment In Creative Marketing - Geekologie That shows an experiment into tarting things up on e-bay... pretty cool.

I used one on my PC called Any Sound Recorder (ASR) and it worked a fucking treat. Any Sound Recorder - Home Yaldy! Can't get any free ones to work on my mac though, which is a pain in the arse. Tried Audacity but need to buy it...

Youtube is my main source for 'checking out' bands, even if it's a shit lyric video made by a 9 year old douche from the other sire of the world, most bands will have a good few songs up there somewhere. If I like a band will source the CD from Amazon Marketplace, Amazon, Town, or iTunes - in that order. Streaming websites are OK, but I'd much rather own a CD or file to play as and when I want to, be it on the move or at home.

YouTube - So wanna kiss you By The Tattle Tales Their album, Hearts in Tune, is full of power-pop tunes! Well worth a purchase.

One shall be there!

Good to hear, can't recall a bad gig that you guys played... although I'm 99% sure you guy had a short time when you played every single open slot in town? Sometimes twice a week... so didn't make every one!!!

Also, I've started this short review site for when this thread dies or it gets into another ridiculously protracted argument and nobody else can be bothered posting in it... Paragraph reviews, of films

Persepolis: animation following an Iranian girl growing up in Teheran and Austria. Although the obvious attraction to this film is its amazing aesthetics - and from the start to finish it looks amazing - its easy to forget that the actual story is so strong. Above this the film is quite informative, giving a good background of the modern history of Iran, yet there are so many funny bits to balance out the tragedies and shocks. Ive not seen anything like this, and was mesmerised for the full 90 minutes. Id suggest watching this with the French audio and subtitles (unless you wont be affected by Sean Penn and Iggy Pop doing the English audio WTF?!?!?) Would recommend this to most people. Score: 8/10 Revenge of the Nerds: to minutes in it was obvious that this film wasnt going to be the barrel of laughs it looked like. The geeky laughing was about the only thing I found funny, and the rest of the film hasnt aged well at all. It was probably good at the time, but is almost embarrassing now. The tags on this post tell more about the film than any paragraph could. Score 4/10 Hana-Bi: a film of two halves really. First half sets up the backdrop for the second, but because all of the action and drama had happened at the start I was restless after the hour mark. Long shots, minimal style, bare dialogue contrasting with the graphic violence and slapstick comedy moments. Very little happens, but the bodycounts impressive! Overall, not as good as other similar films hes done (Violent Cop / Sonatine) or starred in (Gonin), but worth watching if you like. Score: 6/10

Still shot in HD though! My point was that is seems pointless shooting a blockbuster this way then sticking it on cinema reel that can handle infinitely higher quliality... just made the entire film look gash.

Hitman: Not a bad attempt at a film, considering it's based on a game! Doesn't have the simplest of plots, which was stupid considering you're not expecting to use your brain in a film like this. Had to laugh when the text on the screen informs you we're in St Petersburg all the time - despite the fact it's set there. Action is top-notch: gun fights ahoy, graphic assassinations and a 4-way sword-fight! If you can look past points like "why can't the Russian police find a guy with a MASSIVE BARCODE TATTOOED ON HIS HEAD?!?!?" it's a thoroughly watchable film. Girls won't like it, but it's definitely one for the guys. 7/10 Public Enemies: Overall, this was pretty disappointing. They must have spent the entire budget on the costumes and props, which were all great, but cut every corner on the actual film-making: because it's shot in HD it looked like it was filmed on cheap home-cameras, 'shaky cam' was used far too often, audio mix was terrible (quiet dialogue / deafening tommy-guns) and the editing seemed very rushed. Because of this I never really got into the film much. The main casting's fairly standard and well acted - J. Depp being quirky and funny guy, C. Bale being law upholder - but it was good to see Herc and Judge Phelan from The Wire showing face. Not much else to say really, walked out of the cinema unimpressed. 6/10 Wrestlemaniac: Yet another Zone Horror film... when will I learn. As far as B-movies go this was OK. Featured the following 'staple' horror elements: crazy legend, generally low IQs, people insisting on walking about on their own, lame 'jumpy' bits, ridiculous nerds, unfathomably stupid ending as well as lesbians, tits, and pervy camera angles. Rey Mysterio's dad was the main killer, weird. Looked and felt pretty professional compared to most low-budget horrors, but didn't actually have that much to do with wrestling! Decent gore, but only a bodycount of six... 5/10

Kill Bill is the boss as far as Tarantino goes. His previous efforts were all good, but reeked far too much of 'cooler than you'. Splitting it in two seemed ridiculous at the time but the pace of Vol II would have seemed like a gash ending if it were all one film. Not to fussed about Inglorious Basters, it was slated by most critics in Cannes. I'll still go to see it but my guess is that it'll be another film in the vein of Grindhouse: i.e. trying to hard to be the coolest b-movie in history, featuring loads of obscure homage and retro effects and of course, gratuitous gory violence. Also, anyone high enough to tell GQ that they "may have been shakespear in a past life" is a world-class bell-end.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (a.k.a. Strippers Vs Zombies): a b-movie on Zone Horror that looked like it had potential: was in fact utterly crap. Awful puns and acting, every zombie clich in the book, and piss-poor effects... the blood looks like water dyed red! Clearly a platform for a bunch of wannabe porn stars, just hope they failed. Would probably be watchable if you were stoned or drunk... switched off after 1 hour. Hope my Zombie Strippers DVD w/ Jenna Jameson and Robert England isn't as bad as this!!! 2/10 Seed: another Zone Horror B movie, so I was sceptical: turned to be alright. Biggest boost was that it was genuinely atmospheric and eerie. Some good gross-outs, believable violence and disturbing scenes. The main capture was so poorly lit that it was impossible to tell what was going on, and the first 60 mins is mostly backstory. Bit of a shock ending that isn't exactly what you want (or expect) to see. Appears to have been voted down on the big sites because nobody likes Uwe Boll's other films, but I'd give this a decent rating because it's better than most of the shit in the horror / gore / video nasty baskets. 6/10

The best ones are called Camel-Packs and you can get them in the Run 4 it shops.