Paulscoconutass

I've got to hand it to Foreskin Ninja for sending me Buiikikaesu over MSN back in t'day. Their albums are hard to find over here / expensive to import but "Buiikikaesu" and "Rokkinpo Goroshi" are essential. Newer album "Yoshu Fukushu" isn't quite at that level, but still ace.

Walking in to Topshop and knowing it's not worth trying anything on

Being in Exodus

Talking to students

Grudging paying extra for items that are trendy/cool/'in'

2+ day hangovers

Being a weekend warrior

Going to weddings

Random heartburn

Shite metabolism

Highlights of the year for me so far have been

Goon: genuinely funny locker room Ice hockey comedy. Sleeper hit, hope it becomes huge.

The French Connection: can't believe it's taken me so long. Fantastic cop thriller. Hugely influencial.

Rekjavik-Rotterdam: being re-released as Contraband this weekend, Icelandic original. I reckon it'll be impossible to top.

The Descendants: wasn't overly emosh 'til the end, but was bowled over. Clooney is a powerhouse, but daughter does best.

Buried: intense if you buy in to it, I guess if you don't it's just a dick in a box.

Party Down (TV): brilliant, understated comedy from the states about failed actors doing catering. Cringe/comedy-tastic.

Boardwalk Empire (TV): it would be almost impossible to fuck up with that many great performances and an epic story.

Mare, proper, reviews here

Can a MOD delete my signature plz. Thx lol

Unfortunately I think that the confusion and misinformation created from the past 4 years of ongoing Web/Plaza/GCP "have they voted yes yet?" polls and consultations has taken its toll on a good portion of the public. Most of my friends and colleagues are past caring about this, which is unfortunate.

I could think of about 6,500 better ways to spend the cash.

Got a chortle out of me

Not necessarily 'the best' films, but the ones I enjoyed most were:

Inception

Jackass 3D

MacGruber

MicMacs

Toy Story 3

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Stinkers this year were:

We are what we are

Somewhere

Warrior's Way

Hornet's Nest

Skyline

Machete: Decent fun, grindhouse parody / romp. Very enjoyable, but not an amazing film.

The American: slow-pace but great throwback thriller. Clooney is outstanding, looks fantastic

Hornets' Nest: absolutely terrible ending to trilogy. Finished off Played with Fire story. TV movie at best

Monsters: solid reality-based sci fi. Minimal story, some decent effects. worth catching, but don't expect Godzilla.

London Boulevard: Layer Cake / Lock Stock derivative, not bad. Farrel's decent, some witty lines. Winstone typecast! Average

Skyline: Derivative, plagiarised mix of good sci-fi films. Not bad effects, but not a good film. Avoid

We are what we are: boring arthouse cannibal film that should/could have been a great black comedy. Avoid.

Definitely a toss week for cinema.

The Social Network: It's alright, about as good as posh spazz's fighting over ideas in court can be.

Due Date: Pretty funny, ruined by the trailers and not as good as The Hangover, but very enjoyable

Jackass 3D: Amazing use of 3D, if you like the show you'll love this. Bigger, Better, Sorer, Funnier.

The Human Centipede: Quite enjoyed it. Better than I expected, quite eerie / plausible compared to slashers etc.

Wall St Money never sleeps: Boring, long, rubbish story. Impossible to feel sorry for city bankers.

Fucking Ace Thread

Easy A: Somewhere between Mean Girls and American Pie, quite funny, quite entertaining, main girl tries quite hard to carry film. Above average teen comedy.

RED Malkovich steals every scene, everyone else coasting like a motherfucker. Like most comic adaptations it's a decent story but the action and story have all been seen before. Middle of the road.

As a huge fan of Tony Jaa's work, I was incredibly excited to find Ong Bak 3 in Asda. The excitement faded pretty fast when I realised how incredibly bad the film is. Couple half-decent fight scenes and the sudden use of wires in Mr Jaa's films is NOT what I was expecting. Horrendous film - if you liked any of his other films, DON'T watch it - it'll make you want to launch an armed assault on his monastary.

Pretty sure this is the Jaa film with the massive backstory. Basically, he'd had enough of films and buggered off into the wilderness to become a monk. Studios wanted another Ong Bak film so they got him out of retirement through his old contractual commitments - he got dragged back to the set, fatter and way less willing than before. The final cut was so bad that they used a heap of footage from the 2nd film to beef it up. Tragic as the first two were pretty ace.

Would really recommend Flashpoint with Donnie Yen. Fucking ace MMA based action flick. Donnie Yen > Tony Jaa (and way less cheesy)

Recently, I've seen

800 Bullets: Should have been much better, boring story about washed up stunt men in Spain.

Breaking News: Critique of modern 24/7 media mixed with a generic asian cop flick.

Fermat's Room: quite a tense and enjoyable Saw / Die Hard 3 with brains.

Coffy: Brillian 'Blaxploitation' with some unforgettable characters, sleazy story and Pam Grier as one of the sexiest women in any film ever.

Zombie Beach party: A b-movie ode to wrestling and zombie flicks, works a little bit but very cheap.

Mystic River: Probably Eastwood's finest effort. Entire cast are brilliant, story's bleak but gripping. Awesome.

Welcome to the Jungle: Walken is Walken, William-Scott is Stiffler and Dwane Johnson is The Rock. Pretty enjoyable middle of the roadness.

Bullet in the Head: Powerful story is lost in an OTT and corny Hong Kong action fest - if that's your thing though, worth looking at.

I'm a cyborg, but that's OK Fantastic story that exports well. Weird film, punchy, visual orgasm, well acted and very Asian. Unforgettable. Will be re-watching again soon.

Fulltime Killer: cat-and-mouse hitman story about two of Asia's finest. Some cool shootouts and epic visuals.

I understood it fine, I just thought it was a little bit silly and far-fetched. And the last 20 minutes I didn't think they needed to make it as graphic as they did, because it looked a bit crap and that's why I think they should have just shown snatches of it and left the rest up to the viewers imagination. But hey, different strokes for different folks. Good film though, and agreed they were both very good actresses.

Works for every film in history!

Latest ones have been

Salt: Action's done pretty well, Jolie's still got it. Crap, twisty turny story though.

Piranha 3D: Fun film but not worth the tenner entrance fee. Kelly, in the buff, in 3D though. WOW!

Expendables: Really enjoyed it, action was great, so many deaths.

Girl with Dragon Tattoo: Awesome modern detective story, pretty brutal though

Girl who played with Fire: Not-so-awesome follow up, blander but still alright.

Obsessed: Idris Elba and Beyonce, tragic. Just tragic, but ace catfight at end.

Goodfellas: Hands down the best gangster film ever made.

Malna: love letter to Monica Bellucci - get uncensored version without 15 mins of clunge cut out.

War: Jet Li / jason Statham - surprisingly decent flick. Blu Ray sound was great.

Live!: Even Eva Mendes with no bra couldn't save that one.

Toy Story 3: Not as good as 1 & 2 but great film and the best trilogy in the history of cinema.

Doomsday: fun-filled bloodbath by Neil Marshal, don't take it seriously and you'll enjoy it.

Changeling: Jolie shouts "My son" for 2 hours, harrowing but not 'all that'.

Life of Brian: Can't say its as good as I remember, middle of the road with a few funny scenes.

The Matrix: One of the best films ever made. Still cool. Still gets better with every viewing.

Moon: Cracking Sci-fi. Rockwell's great. Ace concept. Going to watch again to see how tight story is.

Brick: Decent enough modern noir but pretty clichd.

South park: BLU one of the best musicals out there, great writing, still offensive/funny.

Spartacus Blood and Sand: fucking awesome swords and sandals epic story, like BBC's Rome but with sex, gratuitous tits and decapitations all over the shop.

More, full reviews here

Also, working my way through the Bond FIlms after getting the box set in HMV for 50, BOOST. Amazing how different the writing, action and iconic scenes differ between

Got to be the best part of the show...

YouTube - Curb Your Enthusiasm - Huge Vagina

HHHEEEUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEE

GIGANTIC!!!

THEY LOVE IT

And the Ski Lift episode's been watched far too many times...

Caught this a couple of weeks back. Like everyone else has said great fun. They half-tried to make the story modern and interesting, didn't bother me much. Neeson didn't look great but Murdoch/Coply (the guy from District 9) was immense.

Bottom line, it's all about the action and this is the type of action that has you sitting in your seat, grinning like a Cheshire cat because it's so ridiculous and entertaining - until the last play where CGI takes over to the max.

It's been panned by critics, but unless you're expecting another Bourne flick get over yourself and enjoy it like everyone else.

2.95 for a Pint of Fosters / Fosters shandy at Cellar 35. And it didn't taste like arse.

Don't know whether it's because I'm no longer a student, getting old (finger off the pulse), or just haven't thought about it for a while but does anyone else think that the cost of a night out is getting ridiculous? Used to get guttered for 30 and now it's about double that for a big night out.

What's been the cheapest / most expensive drinks you've had out lately?

In the Albyn/Dizzys last Friday I was ~7.50 for a shandy and vodka/coke. Would have choked on my change if I'd got enough back!.

Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada - Tommy Lee Jones directs and stars in modern day Western, and I mean STARS in. Fucking excellent performance from both him and Barry Pepper. Well paced, well shot, great story, great acting, great, great, brilliant, wonderful film. Levon Helm is in it too which raises it from 9.9/10 to 10/10

Great film! Was Lee-Jones' first stab at directing, couldn't have done better if you ask me. Pepper was fantastic, surprised he hasn't landed a decent lead role yet. Great story, and some really good black comedy (with corpse).

Caught a late-night viewing of it yesterday... Was half expecting a flop given that it's had such an aggressive advertising campaign. Anyone that likes action/adventure/sci-fi should check this out ASAFP.

Full review here

Would be good to know what everyone's opinion is when they see it. I was mesmerised for the full 140 mins.

Watched Micmacs last night. Absolutely engrossing French film from the director of Amile, Delicatessen etc. Puts his stamp all over it but it's a great-looking film with a nice wee story. Would recommend it to anyone. 9/10

Hey what's the name of that film where Michael Cera plays an awkward geeky teenager?

Everyone's favourite bird-faced actor seems to have had so much trouble trying to shake off his Arrested Development character... Superbad, Juno, Nick & Norah, Year One, Scott Pilgrim...

Although I guess now that Jesse Eisenberg's and Christopher Mintz-Plasse are on the scene he may be struggling for work now.

<MEGA POST ALERT>

MacGruber: didn't expect much but was actually very funny and enjoyable. For fans of SNL/Hot Rod/Lonely Island etc

Prince of Persia: bog-standard action blockbuster, everything you'd expect and more CGI.

The Killer Inside Me: Properly gets you inside the mind of a serial killer. Afflek is great. Violent, but justifiable. Good film.

Sex & the City 2: Actually kind of enjoyed it despite being dragged in against will. But slightly racist.

Doomsday: Neil Marshal's take on Mad Max/Escape from New York in Scotland. Really enjoyed it.

Doubt: Priest Seymour Hoffman vs Nun Meryl Streep, couple of intense scenes but pretty boring overakk. The Mrs loved it though.

Knowing: was really promising until two fucking ridiculous scenes marred the film. Never bounced back.

Inglourious Basterds: Full of great scenes. Tarantino's best dialogue. Great cast. Top knotch

Drag Me To Hell: Sam Raimi goes old school, really, really enjoyed the retro take on horror. Great black comedy moments too.

The Air I Breathe: stop the press, Brendan Fraser and Sarah Michelle Gellar are great actors!!! Poignant drama.

Coraline: Burton-esque goth flick about a teenager. Absurd story, no appeal other than visuals.

Grosse Point Blank: Whole film based around one pun. Seems to be a cult flick but didn't think it was 'all that'.

War Inc. :Spiritual sequel to GPB, funnier and wittier IMHO. Decent political satire.

Blindness: City of God director does a blindness epidemic. Slow start but tour-de-force at the end.

The Spirit: poor man's Sin City. Inferior in every single way.

Mlena: (Italy) Nostalgia-driven film about a teenager's first love, not amazing. Get the uncut version for more Monica Bellucci!

Changeling: Jolie saying the words "My son" for two hours. Didn't do much for me, wuold be good drinking game though.

Role Models: Feel-good comedy about fatherhood and Role Play, just as good 2nd time round.

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance: (Korea) Great flick about poetic tragedy. Dramatic powerhouse in parts.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist: Quirk-o-meter almost broke. Some good bits but generally flat.

:popcorn:

Bigger reviews and other features here

Roger Ebert refused to rate this one "I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."

One of my pals reviews it here: The Human Centipede