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Tell me more, tell me more. (Like, does he have a car?)

I always go to the same barber. Local, €12, in an out in half an hour. Minimal shitchat. Last year I decided to go to a trendy barber that opened nearby for a change of scenery. You get a free beer and they have PlayStations. There was someone in the chair when I arrived so I waited a while. I noted the guy was unusually chatty and it was taking a while, but nothing could have prepared me for what was coming. As soon as I sat in the chair he started with an absolute blizzard of bullshit. Like Jay Cartwright levels of bullshit. Here's a few of the tales he spun me. He was the brother of a famous Irish international footballer. He (the hairdresser, not his brother) used to play for Arsenal. He'd played alongside Vieira, Henry, Pires etc. He'd made 1 or 2 appearances in the first team, was loaned out to Aston Villa, but fell out with the manager there and never played a game. Had his career ended after a training ground tackle by an Arsenal teammate who had a grudge against him (I can't remember who but it was someone famous). Moved back to Ireland, starting playing for League of Ireland teams, was the all time highest scoring player in LOI history (he had only recently retired, he was a young guy, maybe about 30). Got 1 Ireland cap while playing in LOI, missed a free kick by inches. Had since become a qualified barber, owned this place (he didn't), had won Irish barber of the year so many times they wouldn't let him enter the competition any more. (I Googled all of this when I got home and it was all bullshit, every word). Claimed to be a very very rich man who owned a string of businesses but was wearing a tracksuit. I'm not saying he was definitely off his face on drugs, but he was slurring his words, his eyes were half closed and at one point he tripped over my foot and ended up sitting on my lap. Gave me comfortably the worst haircut I've ever had and spent so long talking (he couldn't cut hair and talk shit at the same time apparently) that the whole thing took an hour and half. Took 25 quid off me for the privilege. I went back to my usual place after that.

Adam West In Peace.

Truth. Trendy barbers can do one. They kit it out with some retro decor, and then charge £30+ for a trim. Nah. I'd rather go to a grotty one in one of the units at the end of a bus station. It's just a hair cut. Walked in to one the other week in Bath. Looked at the price list and quickly walked out. No need to pay that amount for a no.6 up the back and sides and a bit of a scissor on top. Went around the corner to a less kitschy sort of place, payed a third of the price for the same job, whilst talking about holidays and why I'm not at work - standard. If I stayed at the other place, they'd have probably wanted to talk about craft beer, vinyl, and cats. Urgh.

Clip2net.com sounds like something my granny would accidentally install