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Its how I spell it, but it is the first time Ive ever had to write the word Of course it is spelled sill however....my mistake! Scrap the plan hog, just park it the bon accord centre and hold a raffle for your car instead. Come back with the winning ticket in your hand, pick up the car and scoop up the raffle money!!

Just put up a sign in your car to the following effect PROPERTY OF MR. HOG - 34 THIS STREET - ABZ I AM AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS. PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY CAR TO THE PAPERBOY, THE MONEY IS UNDERTHE DOORMAT TO THE CLEANER, I LEFT THE BACK WINDOW OPEN, STICK YOUR HAND IN AND I LEFT THE KEYS JUST ON THE WINDOW SEIL BACK SOON FOLKS! xxx HOG

Graeme Souness used to call Nobby up just to hear him playing tunes on his trumpet down the telephone line, true story. Given how terrible Souness was as a manager and given that the general consensus in the footballing world is that he's a grumpy old prick, that image amuses me greatly. Actually, I've heard a few stories about Souness that suggest he's not as much of a bastard as everyone makes out. A brother of one of our players (I think it might have been N'Zogbia) died and Souness apparently brought him into his house for a week or so to help him cope. Either that or he was trying to take advantage of a vulnerable young man, but hey. I used to think Ian Holloway was a bit of a hero but he's becoming such a charicature of himself. Loves playing the "zany goofball from the West Country" role.

They are their own knees.