Sick to the back teeth of students that have never had a proper job in their lives - aberdeen-music

Randy Watson 101 · 20-10-2009, 00:40

THAT'S TO ALL YOU, YOU TRENDY LEFTIE NUMPTIES

Where can I start? Reading the Daily Express (Daily Mail coverage of our beloved Princess Diana is below-par and quite frankly shocking) the other day, it occured to me that immigrants and students seem to be plotting to rid the world of our upstanding, hard-working silent majority. It seems that the only national pride we have is in the form of our wonderful honourable member William Hague, surely the last of the Young Conservatives.

Our only hope for our children (for goodness sake, will someone PLEASE think of the brainwashed children, exposed to smut and filth at such a young age) is an upper-middle class hero, David Cameron. I forgive him for his middle class roots, though it is the UPPER classes that have the right to rule. No scummy sons or daughters of taxi drivers or joiners. After all, Our Mother Lady Thatcher was the daughter of a alderman, not some tinky grocer. Don't get me started on those godawful people who have the gall to call themselves working class. They are all underclass to me. Surely the nation's pride, the Queen Mother, was of questionable authority when she declared her support for the striking miners in the 1980s?

It is my firm belief that the governments of Tony B-liar and John Major-in-nothing-because-he-was-born-in-the-cesspit-they-call-Brixton reduced the Royal Family to multicultural, prole-loving, Guardian-reading trendies who are quick to correct Prince Philip's righteous ways.

In short, this is a diatribe, an up-yours, to all you tabloid snobs out there. I don't need a broadsheet to prove my intellect. That's what my bank balance and rolling acres of land are for.

Dare you disagree with me?

P.S. Yours Truly,
Viscount Andrew Heathcoat Amory Watson,
Baron of Orrock House,
Balmedie

Fraser Mac · 20-10-2009, 00:50

You got a vagina or what?

Randy Watson 101 · 20-10-2009, 01:01

There you go with the sexual references again! I know it's a first but He Upstairs, after all, I am a God-fearing man, tells me you make these comments regularly.

And I wish you would stop expressing the desire to tinkle with my horse-faced, perfectly proportioned children...