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[patrick boo]

When I was about eight or nine, a strange thing started to happen: assassinations became fashionable. First John Lennon, then the Pope and Ronald Reagan were targets. I remember thinking at the time that it was all very well trying to kill famous people, but why not go for more obvious targets, those more deserving of a bullet through the back of the neck? At the time I could think of loads of people, those I remember thinking about were Benny Hill, TVs Ted Rogers and most of all the blokes from Abba. I couldn't understand why there weren't teams of renegade snipers queuing up on the rooftops every time those two smug antiseptic beardies stepped out of a hotel...

So, I want to bring that spirit of youth back right now. Which inane nonentity do you want to see peeled with a rusty razor and sprayed in vinegar whilst strung up on a pylon on the M6?

[Camie]

Lisa Riley of Course. Ever seen her present You've Been Framed?

who's the new prick though? He's somehow worse!!!

Who's Steve Penk?

[cutie]

trevor mcdonald is soooooooooo shit tho

Originally posted by patrick boo:
When I was about eight or nine, a strange thing started to happen: assassinations became fashionable. First John Lennon, then the Pope and Ronald Reagan were targets. I remember thinking at the time that it was all very well trying to kill famous people, but why not go for more obvious targets, those more deserving of a bullet through the back of the neck? At the time I could think of loads of people, those I remember thinking about were Benny Hill, TVs Ted Rogers and most of all the blokes from Abba. I couldn't understand why there weren't teams of renegade snipers queuing up on the rooftops every time those two smug antiseptic beardies stepped out of a hotel...

So, I want to bring that spirit of youth back right now. Which inane nonentity do you want to see peeled with a rusty razor and sprayed in vinegar whilst strung up on a pylon on the M6?

its because nobody is as big a dickhead as you are! STFU

[Hogisbald]

Jim Davidson, hes as funny as a smack in the teeth

[unknown pleasures]

Much as I'd love to vote for the Penk, Davidson is foul.

[patrick boo]

Originally posted by avalanche:
its because nobody is as big a dickhead as you are! STFU

Why thankyou. I live for this level of reasoned debate, this decorous badinage. Pray, enlighten me on the acronym though? Are you sure you got the right letters in the right order? What with the Kosheen thing and all, I have to ask.

[patrick boo]

I have to tell you about my experiences of Jim Davidson...

In the early 90s when I finished my degree I went back to my home town of Lincoln and took the job of assistant manager at a small independent cinema. The place was owned by a dimwitted posho who made a mint putting Z-list celebrities in pantomimes (although one day I was glad of this when I had to call Mr T's house in LA - his answerphone message was "Pity the fool who don't leave a message"!). Anyhoo, he was mates with said right wing shitehawk 'comedian'.

Davidson appeared with a jarring regularity, always acting a twat, making jokes about his ex-wives, making crap racist jokes, the usual. Then, horror of horrors, the fucker only went and bought the cinema. It was a nightmare - the guy was the definition of a misogynist - I mean he really hates women, it's a real problem for him. He used to call the usherettes bitches and whores to their faces... the only good thing was that he drank Diet Coke, what with the alcoholism and all that. Now if you've ever operated one of those post mix taps you'll know that Diet Coke froths really badly, so you can turn round and hawk a giant greenie into it without it being noticed. Davidson must have swallowed a good pint of my guttural excretia by the time he eventually sacked me.

A happy ending for me - I took him to court for unfair dismissal, won and haven't looked back. Unfortunately a sad one for the cinema. He sold the beautiful art deco cinema with it's 3000ft of turquoise and pink neon lighting, silver silk curtains and biggest UK screen outside the West End of London. It's now the Wetherspoon's Ritz, a cinema themepub with the massive expanse of screens, stages and dressing rooms all closed off and the foyer area used as a pleasant hostelry.

[riky-woodz]

Originally posted by RomanChoke:
who's the new prick though? He's somehow worse!!!

Who's Steve Penk?

he's a tv presenter, off the show "tv's worst monents" summit like that
not very amazing! i was sad enough to watch it

rik