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I've just started temping for a construction company, my main duties are typing things into excel, typing things into excel, typing things into excel, adn trying to figure out how the fuck the sheets say there should be minus 42 pallets at a building site, you havent livesd till u've spent an afternoon trawling through deliveries and upheavals for a site for pallets, and repeatedly find you are in minus numbers.

[al2179]

I wouldn't call myself a natural grafter, which is why I made the effort to go to uni after being a chef for 8 years. I was fed up with spilt shifts, long lours, unsociable hours, joch itch, going home smelling like a chip pan and eating too much throughout the day . I thought office work would give me the freedom to sit on my arse and do some kind of intellectual activity.

I got a postgrad in human resources at the worst uni in aberdeen (rgu) although I heard it was OK before I went. The senior lecturer there doesn't even have a masters in HR and she got the job after shagging another lecturer to whom she is now married. I could have learned more out of a book, but as the course cost me £4200, I wasn't about to just drop out, as they wouldn't refund my money.

After 1 year of being bored shitless listening to pillocks rock on about the most mindnumbing waffle and bollocks you are ever likely to hear, I got a job in HR working in an oil company. I was in it for the money, nothing else, and after being a chef for 8 years you can probably understand why.

After just 6 days, I was infuriated with the lack of activity that was apparent within the office. A bunch of fat lazy wenches chewing on Polo mints and mars bars throughout the day, passing all the filing to the new person (me) so they could paint their nails and admire their bingo wings in their nicely adapted desk space which looked like a manicure table and shrine to their nieces and nephews as they were too fat and pig ugly to have a boyfriend or husband. The printer overflowed with paper (every time you printed off a document, even just 1 page, it would spurt out 2 cover sheets with just the brand on the printer on the first page and on the second page it would tell you how many pages were to folllow.). Nobody give a shit, and although i'm not a tree hugger, I could see pure inefficiency, laziness, and corporate irresponsibility within the first 3 days. I went to my manager (who was the fattest wench in the department - ranking seemed to go by weight) to discuss this - she said it wasn't my concern.

The final straw was when I was choosing my lunch off the laminated pub menu they had in the office. When she rolled past me, she said "that's the most important decision you'll make all day". I told her to fuck herself and walked out.

People who work in "HR" think it is great. There are people queing up and practically killing each other to get a job in HR - so I hear. I think they are a bunch of faceless, fake smiling, backstabbing, unintellectual, totally boring bastards who have no chance of getting a real job doing something that is worthwhile and makes a differerence. They think they make all the important decisions and are the most integral part of the company. After trying a few other jobs in the same field, I can now confirm that if you want to pretend that your job is ace and that everyone else isn't, enjoy demeaning others to increase your own status, and have a flair for being a complete twat, then get a career in human resources / personnel management (whatever name they feel will increase their status even further.)