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[patrick boo]

Yuss, it's that time again, twenty-five past eleven, when we go over some things what happened in the past year. To be honest this year was, on a personal basis, a pile of shit. My two best friends died within a few weeks of one another. Too many people dying. Still, looking on the bright side that's two less friends I have to worry about dying this year. Statistically that's got to look good, surely. Also, I was lucky enough to discover the meaning of life and the secret of the universe this year, which was a weight off my mind. Anyhoo, enough of this frivolity, on to the serious stuff...

SINGLE OF THE YEAR
ARCTIC MONKeYS - 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'
(Runners up - GIRLS ALOUD - 'Biology', LCD SOUNDSYSTEM - 'Tribulations')

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
RICHARD HAWLEY - 'Coles Corner'
(Runners up - BROADCAST - 'Tender Buttons', GIRLS ALOUD - 'Chemistry')

GIG OF THE YEAR
THE VERY @ Kef
(No runners up, I've not been to enough gigs)

FILM OF THE YEAR
SERENITY
(Runners up - THE SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD, TEAM AMERICA : WORLD POLICE)

THE CHRISTINA AGUILERRA's NOSE AWARD FOR MOST WONDROUS THING OF THE YEAR
LAURA FRASER's HAIR in 'Casanova'
(Runners up - The rest of Laura Fraser, Alison Goldfrapp's boots, Madonna's taut thighs)

THE UBIQUITY DESPITE MEDIOCRITY AWARD
PETE DOHERTY - Yes, one of 'our own' scoops the prize this year, despite the usual C list 'Heat' fodder competition. An individual so comfortable with mediocrity his name almost rhymes with it. Careful though Pete, I hear Scabies Chic is so last year...
(Runner up - Chico, whoever the fuck he is)

THE CHRISTINA RICCI MEMORIAL 'MY HOW YOU'VE GROWN AWARD, presented by last year's winner, Scarlett Johanssen
CHARLOTTE CHURCH and her magnificent cantilever bosom.

THE MARC ALMOND AWARD FOR SERVICES TO HIGH CAMP
WILL YOUNG - well done lad, you're really growing into yourself..


Tips for next year - Wigwam to scoop the lot. Plus look out for - Ashphalt, licking, Peter Andre's exploding head, mulch.

[Sam the Eagle]

thinking that models might possibly scoop single of next year...

hell i think it might scoop single of the decade!