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Ok I made this track earlier this year, and I'm fairly happy with most aspects of it. But being a) not much of a trained musician and b) not much of a trained composer, I was wondering if any of you could give me suggestions about what you think could be added to it, like things that you would add yourself, where you think it is lacking, what you could imagine being in there...just for those of you who are bored and have nothing better to do - i just get the feeling there is something missing from this.

Anyway its a 1.5mb download,

http://totally.kicks-ass.net/stripey...trusionist.mp3

I don't really know any musically minded people so anything you say is going to be helpful as long as its constructive...

Where do you guys learn about song structure? Do you use the same structure every time? I just don't have much of a clue, winging it all.

Oh yeah and the intro is shit, I never put enough effort into those

[M.A.R.T]

you just pick up song structure through listening to other peoples songs and how they move you when you listen to them......if you get a good feeling of progression from your songs then you must be doing something right.

but to be honest i really enjoyed the times when i didnt know anything about song structure....i could just throw songs together and relax about them.....now i worry too much about the structure.....i think this gets in the way.

songs should just flow and go places...just stick stuff together the way you want...you'll get better with practise.

Originally posted by M.A.R.T
you just pick up song structure through listening to other peoples songs and how they move you when you listen to them......if you get a good feeling of progression from your songs then you must be doing something right.

but to be honest i really enjoyed the times when i didnt know anything about song structure....i could just throw songs together and relax about them.....now i worry too much about the structure.....i think this gets in the way.

songs should just flow and go places...just stick stuff together the way you want...you'll get better with practise.

Yeah I hear what you are saying...I do think it is about progression and flow and not being tedious. I just gotta feel it i guess.

Ppl please get your finger out and listen to this, its only a 1.5mb download!

http://totally.kicks-ass.net/stripey...trusionist.mp3


I want to know if you dig the bassline, if you can imagine any more instruments in there, if you can imagine lyrics with it or whatever....just gimme your thoughts!

[Frosty Jack]

With all due respect, give it a rest, will you? I can't quite work out if you're totally lacking confidence in your own abilities, or if you're fishing for compliments. You keep asking for opinions and you keep saying it's a work in progress or whatever. You can't write music by concensus, isn't that veering towards writing what other people want? Wouldn't that be 'selling your soul'? Bite the bullet and just lay down what you want, what you think is right, then see what happens. It's your music, take the leap of faith.

Originally posted by Frosty Jack
With all due respect, give it a rest, will you? I can't quite work out if you're totally lacking confidence in your own abilities, or if you're fishing for compliments. You keep asking for opinions and you keep saying it's a work in progress or whatever. You can't write music by concensus, isn't that veering towards writing what other people want? Wouldn't that be 'selling your soul'? Bite the bullet and just lay down what you want, what you think is right, then see what happens. It's your music, take the leap of faith.

Well, I *am* lacking confidence in my own abilities because I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't know any musically minded people to talk to about music.

So, the only thing im "fishing" for is constructive feedback....bit of advice or whatever...on the composition side of things....sorry if this bothers you. I'm just dissapointed that there isnt much talk on here about making music.

edit> you guys seem to either rehearse with other people or are already accomplished musicians, I'm just trying to learn...

[Frosty Jack]

OK, sorry if that seemed a bit harsh, but your attitude in some other threads doesn't give the impression of a lack of self-confidence at all. The impression I've got from your posts to date has been pretty mixed. On the one hand you've been asking for help, and then on the other you've been demanding to know what right someone has to hold an opinion and often been quite dismissive. You may find things go a lot better in general if you assume everyone deserves respect until they prove otherwise, not vice-versa.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

Yeah, I don't get the impression from your other posts, that you 'don't know what you're doing', at all. You seemed adamant that what you do, is far better than anything anyone else does, or wants to do.

Anyway, as for the track - I found it boring. It's not my kinda thing, so I dunno what you're trying to achieve with it, but I kept expecting it to kick off at some point, and it didn't. I also think there was the lack of a hook - something that will make the listener remember the song.

Hope that helps...

Originally posted by Adam Easy Wishes
Yeah, I don't get the impression from your other posts, that you 'don't know what you're doing', at all. You seemed adamant that what you do, is far better than anything anyone else does, or wants to do.

Anyway, as for the track - I found it boring. It's not my kinda thing, so I dunno what you're trying to achieve with it, but I kept expecting it to kick off at some point, and it didn't. I also think there was the lack of a hook - something that will make the listener remember the song.

Hope that helps...

I don't think I ever claimed to be good at it I kinda know what i'm doing in technical terms of just putting things in sequence and making beats and synth patches and mixing down tunez, what I'm having trouble with is really the *content*...

Thanks for your input. I'm gonna go and have a think about hooks. I find it a bit of a boring tune myself. (which is why I was asking for help in the first place

Hey stripey.

I liked ntrusionist. The bass line is well done, if a little loud, but that's mostly because of monitoring through headphones.

It's more of a soundscape than a song as it sounds as if it's a part of a much larger piece. (Think of listening to a two minute stretch of Mike Oldfield's Omadawn, for instance).

Has a movie incidental track feel to it as well.

Much better when the hyenas aren't snarling and barking at everyone isn't it?