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[jester1470]

You often get favourite film quotes threads so what's everyone's favourite TV show quotes:

"They don't like it up 'em" Corporal Jack Jones - Dad's Army

"David Addison: I know who he is, he paints naked girls.
Maddie Hayes: Nudes.
David Addison: Nudes, right. Nakeds have staples in them. " - Moonlighting

"Bo Duke: Daisy Duke, if you wasn't my cousin, I'd marry you!
Daisy Duke: Never stopped anybody in this family before. " The Dukes of Hazzard#

"Eddie: What you two don't seem to realize is that inside of me, inside of me, there is a thin person just screaming to get out.
Gran: Just the one, dear? " Absolutely Fabulous

"Lieutenant George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire-building.
Captain Blackadder: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front.
Lieutenant George: Oh, no, sir, absolutely not.
[Aside, to Baldrick]
Lieutenant George: Mad as a bicycle! " Blackadder Goes Forth

"Carter: Look at that time we tried to teach a goat to ride a bicycle... Because it couldn't change gear properly we lost heart, didn't we? " Nightingales

[delboy]

'what are you some kind of spanish pilchard?' - frank butcher, eastenders

[Teabags]

"I have come to the conclusion that in some parts of in the South of America, human beings have started to mate with vegetables" Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

[Bob Double Jack]

"this is the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun" - blackadder goes forth

[mcsheepie]

JAYE - Can’t you keep it to yourself? I thought you and I had an unspoken agreement never to get into each other’s business uninvited?
AARON - I never said that.
JAYE - That’s why it’s unspoken, moron .

Wonderfalls.

[SteveCrisis]

"There's an old Italian saying, 'You fuck up once you lose two teeth'." Tony Soprano

[Metarie]

I can't even begin to start quoting Spaced, but that's right up there.
'Mine's a pint of the black stuff'
'You can't drink a pint of Bovril!'

*edited*
Clearly I have started to quote Spaced. But I'll leave it at that.

[Rachie]

Originally Posted by Teabags

"I have come to the conclusion that in some parts of in the South of America, human beings have started to mate with vegetables" Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

Yes! Exactly the one I had in mind!

[Hardcore Mel]

"Neil Armstrong-he walking on me face. Buzz Aldrin-he walking on me face." The Moon
"As for ferries, I'm all over the shop. When me and Mrs 'Arrison go to Calais it's a nightmare, I'm on the deck the whole time...Oh my word, are we back to the Crunch? Here we fucking go!...This is an outrage! Saboo you sleeeeg!"-Tony Harrison
"Topshop!"
"Gothjuice. The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith."

All from the Mighty Boosh. Infact that whole show is too fucking quotable!

[Afro Droid]

"Haven't you heard of the the chain of command? It's the chain I beat you with until you see who's in command." - Jayne Cobb, Firefly