All times are GMT. The time now is 01:25.
| Welcome to aberdeen-music! Please register for free in order to access all areas of the web site and to post on our forums.
11-10-2006, 19:37
|
#2 (permalink) |
  |
"Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't! Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Who let the dogs out? Mr. T did, that's who. What the hell are you going to do about it? 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr. T is a deadly weapon in 17 states. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates. There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them. Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a porn star regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T. Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode. Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang. During the filming of Rocky III, Burgess Meredith asked Mr. T why he wore so much gold. To make a long story short, the script had to be changed to include Mickey's "accidental" death. If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun. Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster."
__________________
"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee." |
|
|
