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[Flash@TMB]

Being located on the quay has it's advantages:

1) Neds are too scared to come down.

2) Getting to and from the bar unaccosted is very safe, the worst part being negotiating Market Street, personally I recommend either going down Guild Street, via the Shiprow, or down Marshall Street.

There are only 2 minor problems:

1) Hookers, lucily we are far away from the tolerence zone that we hardly see any, and the police helpfully patrol around the bar to scare them off. In the unlikely event that anyone encounters one, here is how to deal with the situation. When they enquire "Yi looking fer bizness?" just reply "Yes - do you sell kebabs?".


2) Stag nights. We do not admit stag nights, head wettings etc. Most of those terminate at the Crown & Anchor, but we have a sign up prohibiting them anyway. In addition we have hiked the price of a bottle of Miller MGD into the stratosphere £2.50 as opposed to £1.80 or £2.00 for other bottled beers.

Occasionally though a group will manage to trick us into admission, usually by arriving in small scouting parties. When this happens we play our joker... I turn the volume up all the way, the crowd in the bar smile and encourage this with the secret Moorings sign of index finger jabbing upwards. It's amazing how fast those fuckers drink their bottles of Miller with TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND WATTS of Rammstein or Killing Joke blasting both brain cells out of their ears. It also means that it's too loud for them to talk, and so loud they are unable to order a second drink (heaven forbid).

Result: total stag nights last weekend = 1. Duration = 4 mins.

Roll on Saturday. This is almost fun.

So if it goes loud then just sit back and enjoy the spectacle.

I should also mention that we too have banned burbury (however it's spelt), football tops, baseball caps, shell suits, and trainers. Nudity is tolerated under the influence of Absinthe.


Flash

This sounds like a great pub. I will investigate on Saturday, prior to the Hi-On Maiden gig....

[Project S.A.M.]

Originally posted by Flash@TMB:

1) Hookers, lucily we are far away from the tolerence zone that we hardly see any, and the police helpfully patrol around the bar to scare them off. In the unlikely event that anyone encounters one, here is how to deal with the situation. When they enquire "Yi looking fer bizness?" just reply "Yes - do you sell kebabs?".

Yes, except they will often be touting for bizness while eating kebabs. I'm sure that anyone that has been in the area knows how very lovely the hookers are at the best of times, so just imagine how enticed you would feel if they asked you for buzness whilst stuffing doner meat in their face with sauce dribbling down their chin. Mm mmm.
Also fun to watch recently was during cold snap when the market street and shiprow hills were frozen over: I saw several kerb crawlers stalling their cars halfway up the hills, and rolling back down, unable to stop for the kebab-devouring whores. Or the one rolling back down the shiprow hill stopping at the hooker he had just been arguing with outside The Moorings. Grand.

[ragudave]

Rather a few hookers seem to work around the Dr Drakes / Market Street area - a taxi driver tells me that many of them are more interested in opening male wallets rather than opening their sacks - the dodgy few work in gangs that beat punters up - so beware of these lovely people !

Dave

[RossP]

Originally posted by ragudave:
Rather a few hookers seem to work around the Dr Drakes / Market Street area - a taxi driver tells me that many of them are more interested in opening male wallets rather than opening their sacks - the dodgy few work in gangs that beat punters up - so beware of these lovely people !

Dave

I know someone who that happened to!! He was hammered, and a bit of a mink anyways, so he thought nothing of going down to the docks for a bj. thing is she managed to nick his wallet out of his pocket without him noticing, class!

[Frosty Jack]

I saw the scariest looking pimp ever a couple of weeks ago as I left Drakes. He looked like Vinnie Jones in Lock Stock but 20 times harder. Poloneck, gold jewellery, long leather coat and everything. He was leading his two bitches down Market Street with some poor pissed up suit in tow. Fucking terrifying.

[MattJimF]

i know quite a few people who would enjoy your get rid of stag parties method on a stag night out

[garygilmore]

The handwritten "No Stag Parties" notice sellotaped to the front door is kinda scummy...you should either just take it down and let the pub atmosphere deal with it or at least get a decent sign put up..after all the money spent doing the place up there's no need to look like some sleazy dive trying to to appear better than the other bars around.

l

[ragudave]

Originally posted by Frosty Jack:
I saw the scariest looking pimp ever a couple of weeks ago as I left Drakes. He looked like Vinnie Jones in Lock Stock but 20 times harder. Poloneck, gold jewellery, long leather coat and everything. He was leading his two bitches down Market Street with some poor pissed up suit in tow. Fucking terrifying.

and the moral of the story is - dont ever accept an invitation to a party when you are in the Metro.....

[Flash@TMB]

I'm waiting on the sign coming back from the sign shop. In the meantime the scubby note is eliminating 90% of the undesirables.

What's wrong with sleazy dives?