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[TelecasterSam]

c'mon post some of your jokes, and give us all a laugh!.....


It might be a reflection of my daft sense of humour but this made me laugh....



A guy was driving around Dublin when he saw a sign in front of a house,

'Talking Dog for Sale.'

He rang the bell and the owner told him the dog was in the backyard.

The guy went into the backyard and saw a Labrador sitting there..

'You talk?' he asked.

'Yes,' the Lab replied.

'So, what's the story?'

The Lab looked up and said, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I

was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda

about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to

country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one

figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable

spies for eight years running.'

'But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting

any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the

airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious

characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and

was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a load of puppies, and

now I'm just retired.'

The guy was amazed. He goes back in and asked the owner what he wanted

for the dog.



'Ten euros.' the man said.


'Ten euros? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so

cheap?'



'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shíte.'

[idol_wild]

I was told an amazing sexist joke when I was away recently.

Want to hear it? If not, don't read on...

What is the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?















Einstein's cock.

[davidm]

i logged in specifically to say that joke is amazing!

[french_disko]

you need to do an American accent for this one -

q. What do you call a bear with no paw?










a. Rupert the bastard.

[Spiritinthesky]

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.' Hey, nice tie!' comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the barman to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.

'Hey! Nice shirt!' The man looks up but, again, the barman is engaged elsewhere.' Hey! Nice suit!' The man then calls the barman over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.

'It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts.'

[Nev]

I got the missus a bag and a belt for Valentines day.

She was pissed off, but the hoover's fine now.

[jon]

Why did Lt. Uhura have to have a shower?

Because William Shatner.

[TelecasterSam]

One day the primary school teacher was reading the story
of Chicken Licken to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Licken tried to warn the farmer. She read, '... and so Chicken Licken went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused, then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said,
'Well, I think he said:... "Fuck me!! ...a talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

[Slutbags McGee]

What's the opposite of a peacock?

A peacunt.

Haha little things amuse me...


What do a fur trapper and a necro have in common?
Both are looking for dead beaver

[Red Neck Man]

What starts with an 'N', ends in 'R' and you wouldn't want to call a black man?

















Neighbor