Wee jock

[Rab McNamara]

SUBJECT: Wee Jock

Teacher: "Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can haveFridayand Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."


Wee Jock thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ma general knowledge stuff. This is gonnae be a dawdle, come on ya radge, a lang weekend fir me."

Teacher: "Right class, who can tell me who said. "Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"

Wee Jock shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air.
Instead however, teacher looks round & picks Richard at the front.
"Yes, Richard?"
Richard (in a very English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy -inauguration speech 1960.

"Teacher: "Very good Richard. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we will see you back in class on Tuesday.

The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even more determined.
Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?"

Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting "I know. I know.Me Miss, me Miss "

Teacher looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front: "YesTimothy." Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes miss,the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."

Teacher: "Very good Timothy , you may stay off Friday and Monday and come back to class on Tuesday."

The following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper, he's been studying encyclopaedias all week and he's ready for anything thatcomes.
He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in anticipation.
Teacher: "Who said One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"

Wee Jock's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,jumping up and down screaming "Me miss. Me miss. I know, I know. Me Miss,me miss, meeeeee"

Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front.
"Yes Rupert." Rupert (In a frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy Englishaccent): "Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong 1969, The first moonlanding."

Teacher: "Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come back into class on Tuesday."

At which point Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, he tips his desk and throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming "Where the f*ck did all these English b*stards come from?"

Teacher looking round the class, angrily: "Who said that"?!! Wee Jock grabs his coat and heads for the door, "Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden,1746.
See yeh on Tuesday ya old cow!."





Irishterry Posted: Jan 9 2007, 03:27 PM


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