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[Jake Wifebeater]

Originally Posted by McGoatski

Knock knock.

Who`s there?

Not Maddy.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

Haha, don't be sorry. Mind you, all the trouble started when her parents nipped out for a bottle of wine, they forgot there was a 4-year-old Madeleine back in the hotel room....

[jackson]

A horse walks into a bar,
the barman asks, "Why the long face?"
to which the horse replies, "I've got AIDS."

My Grandad died at Auschwitz......

he fell out the watch tower

could get me banned but

what's the difference between Maddie McCann and John Paul II?



John Paul II died a virgin uh oh

[Toasty]

Originally Posted by jackson

what's the difference between Maddie McCann and John Paul II?



John Paul II died a virgin uh oh

NICE !

[Slutbags McGee]

Originally Posted by Calum The Philosopher

NICE !

Ha ha you had me in fuckin knots last night with these! LOVE the cervical cancer one tho ha ha ha ha

Right...

A guy with Down's Syndrome hires a prostitute - he wants to try a 69 because he's never done one before...
They hire a room and she climbs on top of him... just as he's halfway through licking her out she does a fanny fart and he starts crying
Prostitute: "What's wrong??"
Guy: "I don't want another 68 of those!!"


-------

What's old, wrinkly and smells of ginger?
Fred Astaire's face

------

What's funnier than a dead baby?
Two dead babies....

What's funnier than two dead babies?
A dead baby in a clown suit!

-------

What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip!

--------

Two muslim's walk into a bar

BOOM BOOM



Yeah I'll prob get roasted for all those jokes but oh well... Some folk just can't take a joke!

[Slutbags McGee]

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic

*giggles*

Aaand...

What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra


(that one's from my "simple" mate )

[Dayeth]

Originally Posted by nastylittlemidget

What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra


(that one's from my "simple" mate )

and it's the most original one there.

[Ziggylynch]

Michael Barrymore was asked if he was going to do any pantos this year to which he replied "no **ckin' way!" "I did Aladdin last year and I'm still getting stick for it"

However, you can't beat a bit of T.C. - R.I.P.

‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’

A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’

A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘ I’ve hurt my arm in several places’
The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’

‘So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’

‘So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘ Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said ‘ It depends where you’re calling from.’

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

[Dayeth]

Originally Posted by Ziggylynch

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Aaaaahahahahahaha

[Dayeth]

A bloke walked into a public toilet where he found two cubicles, of which one was already occupied so he entered the other one, closed the door, dropped his trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to him, "Alright mate, how are you doing?'

He thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude he replied 'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, he heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to then?'

Again he answered, somewhat reluctantly.

Unsure what to say he replied 'Umm, just having a quick poo.. How about yourself?'

He then heard the voice for the third time ....'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some dickhead in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

[psydoll]

Originally Posted by Ziggylynch

Michael Barrymore was asked if he was going to do any pantos this year to which he replied "no **ckin' way!" "I did Aladdin last year and I'm still getting stick for it"

However, you can't beat a bit of T.C. - R.I.P.

‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’

A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’

A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘ I’ve hurt my arm in several places’
The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’

‘So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’

‘So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘ Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said ‘ It depends where you’re calling from.’

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

I fully enjoyed that. Legend!