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[Sue Denim..]

Why is a womans stomach called a waist?

It's a waist because you could get another pair of tits in there!

[Teabags]

What is non-alcoholic beer similar to?

Its like going down on your little sister. Tastes the same, but just doesn't feel right.

[Afro Droid]

What's small, pink and covered in cob-webs?





Madeleine McCann's bike

[Sue Denim..]

The Police have raided Gary Glitter's house. They found class A drugs in the lounge, class B drugs in the kitchen and Class 5c in his bedroom!

[Tony Marlin]

A snake goes into a bar.
Barman Says "I'm not serving you; your legless and can't hold your drink".

[Dan Atom]

What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop?



Dr Dre

[tickle]

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks.

While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice.
The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman
explains.

'First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.'

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
He puts the salt on his tongue........salty but tolerable.
He drinks the shot of Baileys........smooth , rich, cool, very pleasant.

He thinks........this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.
In one second the sharp lime taste hits...... At two seconds the Baileys curdles ... At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. .......At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.
This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not > wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, 'Jesus, what do you call that drink?'

She smiles widely at him and says, 'Blow Job Revenge.'

[Teabags]

On a country lane, a man is driving long in one direction, while a woman is driving in the other direction. As they pass, the man shouts out his window to the woman passing "FAT COW!"

The woman, slightly annoyed, shouts back "BALD DICK" as she goes round the bend.

At the end of the blind turn, she smashes straight into a large heffer and crashes the car into the adjacent field wall, killing her instantly.

Women. If they'd just listen.

[RossP]

[Jan Deal]

Originally Posted by RossP

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!