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Old 19-09-2007, 18:02   #111 (permalink)

 
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Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are gone. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
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Old 20-09-2007, 19:43   #112 (permalink)

 
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Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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Old 21-09-2007, 11:16   #113 (permalink)

 
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What's the difference between Colin McRae and Gary Glitter?

Only two kids went down on Colin McRae's chopper.
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Old 21-09-2007, 13:30   #114 (permalink)

 
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Whoa!!!! That's bad!!!
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Old 21-09-2007, 21:55   #115 (permalink)

 
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What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?



Nothing...you already told that bitch twice already!
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Old 21-09-2007, 23:24   #116 (permalink)

 
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Jose Mourinho said he wants to back to Portugal and never be seen in England again. The McCanns have offered to help.

What's worse than Michael Jackson putting your kid's to bed ?
Letting the McCanns take them on holiday.

Jake beat me with the mccrae one.
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Old 22-09-2007, 09:38   #117 (permalink)

 
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NEWSFLASH: Foot and mouth has just been found in a Scottish field.
Fuck knows where they'll find the rest of Colin McRae.

Did you know Colin McRae was a Sheffield United fan?
His last words on the blackbox were: 'C'Mon You Blades!'
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Old 26-09-2007, 02:08   #118 (permalink)

 
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two guys sittin by the pool watchin the swimmers .

"c'mon, £50 quid says i'll beat you to ten lengths" one says.

"you're daft, we're here to socialise,plus you've nae arms or legs" the other says.

"bollocks....GO!!!" and their in the water, game on.

guy with limbs does his length and comes back to find his pal groaning in pain.

"you allright?" he asks

"Aww, what a time to get cramp" he replies.
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Old 03-10-2007, 10:40   #119 (permalink)

 
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It has recently emerged that Colin McRae had dandruff. They found his Head and Shoulders in a tree...

What's pink and covered in cobwebs?

Madeleine McCann's bike.
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Old 03-10-2007, 10:48   #120 (permalink)

 
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Keep em coming ....

what does a cannibal do after he has dumped his girlfriend ?

Wipes his arse.
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