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[Savant]

The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!


__________________________________________________ _______________


A stranger to Glasgow met his pal at the station. It was obvious that
someone had recently punched his face.

His pal asked, "What on earth happened to you then?"
The chap replied, "I've no idea why, but a barmaid just belted me in the
face! I was just killing a bit of time in a pub
and my luggage bag was in
the way, so I asked the barman if he would mind keeping it behind the bar.
He was happy to do this. When I went back to collect it later, this barmaid
was on duty.

All I said to her was, 'Any chance of getting my holdall?' and she hit me!"

[Teabags]

A man goes to visit his friend in Tory. When he rings the doorbell, his mate's son answers the door with a fag in his mouth, a can of Special Brew in one hand and a hardcore porn mag in the other.

He asks the boy "a'right, is yer Da' in?"

The boy replies "Whit the fuck di you think?"

[Scorge]

This made me LOL

[Red Neck Man]

Why is the bible like a penis?

You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

[Biz]

Sunday Drummonds 9 pm ish Des, Gus etc, they will make you think and laugh, cheers Biz.

[Alkaline]

Originally Posted by Savant

All I said to her was, 'Any chance of getting my holdall?' and she hit me!"

HAHA that's ace

[HateEvent]

Renault have designed a car that claim is so spacious that you can barely notice the kids in the back. They have called it the Renault McCann.

[Red Neck Man]

What's Pavarottis wife getting for christmas?



A smaller turkey.

[Slutbags McGee]

They've decided that to save on gas, instead of cremating Pavarotti, they're going to microwave him, after all, it's not over until the fat bastard pings!

[Sue Denim..]

In a recent government survey the question was asked;
Do you think all foreign immigrants should be forced to speak English?

30% said Yes
10% said No
60% said "czkfmvke slkaefj oeiuo werot weot"