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[Toasty]

Originally Posted by nastylittlemidget

Wowsers they finally caught on... ha ha how many days banning do you think you'd get Calum for each and every joke you've put up ha ha ha ha ha


What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, but anal makes your hole weak!

I'd imagine they would just ban me from the site for good if they actually done some "moderating" swooosh

[Slutbags McGee]

Now, now Calum that kind of post won't earn you any favours...

For one thing your punctuation and grammar are terrible! You know how "they" like to rib people for such weaknesses!

[Toasty]

Originally Posted by nastylittlemidget

Now, now Calum that kind of post won't earn you any favours...

For one thing your punctuation and grammar are terrible! You know how "they" like to rib people for such weaknesses!

Who are " they " , The Wizards ?

[Toasty]

Aw now come on !

[Red Neck Man]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side.

[Chris]

Originally Posted by nastylittlemidget

Wowsers they finally caught on... ha ha how many days banning do you think you'd get Calum for each and every joke you've put up ha ha ha ha ha

We caught onto the thread from the start. It's just getting over the top now. Humour gets some leeway but not a total amnesty from the rules.

[lepeep]

Originally Posted by Calum The Philosopher

Yeah you may get banned for complete racist jokes implying your racist

my racist what?......
god I love cliffhangers.

[Toasty]

Hamster , i knew he shouldn't of hung out with those nazi youth kids

[Teabags]

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."

Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family . . . you've got to send me back straight away."

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day
here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never!" replies Dave.

"Well just relax and let it happen

So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him. . . . . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

"Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed!!!"

[Savant]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmly stated "You must be single". The woman was a bit startled by
this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition,
since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and
saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have
tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos' you're ugly".