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My story is about a big jolly man called frank the jolly man.
One day frank the jolly man went on a jolly walk to the seaside to catch some dolphins for tea.
On his way to the seaside he met john major who gave him a surprise cuddle.
Jolly frank was scared now and ran very fast away from Mr. Major , nearly tripping on a transparent elephant which had been planted in his way by
Mr. Mop the evil er..mop. Mr mop was so evil that he even took delight in torturing cornflakes before eating them reeeeeaaaaaally sloooowly.
When Jolly Frank got to the seaside he noticed quite quickly that the sea had been stolen !
"Brilliant !" gasped jolly frank "I can see all the dolphins" , "I can have a huge tea" , "bigger than a tree".
So jolly frank went dolphin gathering and gathered all th dolphins (52) and had a big dolphin tea bigger than a tree.

After tea , Jolly Frank decided to go fly his kite.
Jolly Frank's kite was in the shape of a large pineapple named bob the large pineapple and it was furry.
Jolly Frank started flying his furry pineapple-like kite and was enjoying it immensly , until ...... A huge spider came down from a nearby cloud and
exploded right in front of Jolly frank , he got such a fright that he let go of the kite which soared upwards towards oblivion.
Now , oblivion isn't a nice place and it's not where Jolly Frank really wanted to go today , but choice did he have little of .. and his furry kite rescue he must. So off he went. Getting there was his first problem , he was forced to implement a method of transport stolen from a different story...
When Jolly Frank reached the top of the beanstalk , he stopped to admire the view , then suddenly had a cardiac arrest and died.

Or did he ?

Jolly Frank awoke to find himself as damp as a sardine in a sauna and lying in a poolof bricks in the midst of Oblivion.
Jolly Frank was just glad to be alive and started to remember about his kite Bob. He jumped up , ready to continue his search when
one of the bricks shouted at him to stop.
"stop !", shouted the brick "My name is Nik" , " Nik the brick" , " and i see from your membership card for the society for fat bald men that your name is Lucy "
"n ,n...no !" said Jolly Frank "that's an old card , My name is now Jolly Frank! "
"Whatever" replied the brick "What do you want ?"
"I am on a quest to find my kite , and friend , Bob the furry pineapple-like kite " answered Jolly Lucy ..er Frank.
"O.K , can i come ?" asked Nik.
"Why not " said Formerly Lucy, and the brick and the Jolly man set off on their entirely sane quest to bring back Bob the pineapple-like kite from the clutches of evil which lurk in Oblivion , high above the streets and houses , near where Bungle lives.

As Nik and Frank wandered across the clouds towards oblivion , they spoke about various house plants and how they may be used to combat squirrels and other assorted members of the rodent family. They joked about the death of the colour pink and argued over the cause of the melting of the tower of london.
Frank was complaining of a sore elbow due to dew so the two explorers rested a while and pondered there next move..
Eventually they came up with a plan to find Bob the pineapple-like furry kite , they would employ the skills of a homing cabbage who would scour oblivion for a tent , once the cabbage (probably a green one) had found a tent Nik would use his superior brick-like bargaining skills to sell it for a very good price.
With the money from the tent , they would buy the cabbage a thankyou present like a trycicle or something. With the change they would hire a popular scandinavian camel called Alfred to teleport everyone to the exact location of Bob.
They did this , and Bob was at last found , and they all had a new friend - Alfred the Scandinavien camel.
Who knows what future adventures may face this strange (and probably illegal) threesome.

SF

[Mac Atom]

sigh....

[Dan Atom]

You're a tit, now fuck off.

[Mouse]

what shite is this?

[Rach_69]

Originally posted by Dan Atom:
You're a tit, now fuck off.

hehe, tell it like it is i suppose!

[bryn]

That story was way too long

[Len Atom]

Very true, but in other news, your 'listening to' section is pretty cool. Sounds like the gigon the 23rd should be brilliant. See you there!