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[rowan]

Here are a few Top Tips:

X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.

POP a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap.

GIRLS? Too old to go on an 18 - 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

DON'T write you PIN number on the back of your cash card because you won't be able to read it once you've put it in the machine.

WEEDY fellas. Develop a right arm like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a matter of weeks by investing in the latest workout by Girls Aloud.

FELLAS. A fun way to keep warm on cold winter nights is to fill your inflatable sex doll with hot water.

[rowan]

Top Tips For Students:

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They
will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and far less pricey.
It gives any cocktail a bit of "oomph."

Cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes.

Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen
chips from the freezer and try piercing together potatoes.

Cyclists. Why not try stopping at red lights like everyone else,
instead of riding up onto the pavement to avoid them. Stupid Bastards.

[Sue Denim..]

Solve the problem of Global warming by removing all the gas out the back of old refrigerators that makes them work and releasing into the atmosphere.

[Jeid]

Originally Posted by rowan

POP a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap.

GIRLS? Too old to go on an 18 - 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

these two made me laugh... haha