Child Support

[bluesxman]

When someone applies for Child Support, the proper procedure is to find out
who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The following
are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms
in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out number 11... it takes the prize and #3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered
by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but
I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a
man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.
If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number?
Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it
replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a
letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and
that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.
Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same
to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at
the same time... well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World;
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd
have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146
Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when
you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

[Jan Deal]

I thought number 2 and 4 were good.