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[Dayeth]

Originally Posted by Hog

Go for it.

Dwarf with a lisp goes to a stud farm to buy a horse, "I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.
"What sort of horse ?" asks the owner.
"A female horth", the dwarf replies and so the owner takes him to his finest mare.
"Nithe horth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyth?".
The owner patiently picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's eyes.
"Nithe eyth" says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?".
Again, the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth.
"Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again,picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nithe eerth", says the dwarf, "Can I see her twot?"
With this, the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head deep inside the horse's vagina and holds him there for a few seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says, "Perhaps I should weefwaze that, can I see her wun awound?"

Why can the dwarf say "perhaps" and "see" correctly?

If you ask me, he's putting it on.

[Wishbone G]

Originally Posted by Dayeth

Why can the dwarf say "perhaps" and "see" correctly?

If you ask me, he's putting it on.

I also wondered how he was saying the letter R just fine to start with, and had a lisp, then his speech impediment changed to an inability to say the letter R.

However, I refuse to be the first to nitpick

how do prostitutes give their refunds?

they spit

[paranoid]

Originally Posted by lepeep

did you read the title of the message ?
"good jokes"....

Did you read the title, "New jokes"

[Scorge]

Man goes to a doctor and says:

'Doctor, I need help - I can't pronounce my F's, my T's or my H's'....

The doc replies: 'You can't say fucking fairer than that then, can you!'

[lepeep]

Originally Posted by paranoid

Did you read the title, "New jokes"

no, I didn't...
I guess I was just expecting better then...
not a list of cut n pasted statements about rednecks...
now I am getting to anal about it!......

[Stephen]

A spelling bee was held in Washington D.C. among all interested politicians. The contest was competitive, until finally there were three contestants remaining. Those still in competition were former President Clinton, former United States Senator Bob Packwood, and former Vice-President Dan Quayle. After a series of correct responses by each, Quayle was finally able to prevail over his opposition. He was the only one that knew that 'harass' was only one word.



*i'll leave now*

Originally Posted by The Ghost Of Scorge

Man goes to a doctor and says:

'Doctor, I need help - I can't pronounce my F's, my T's or my H's'....

The doc replies: 'You can't say fucking fairer than that then, can you!'

tell the ones about the suicide bombers.

[jonty84]

Little Kev loses his Mum in a shopping centre. So he goes to a security guard and says 'Mister, mister, I've lost my Mummy!'.
So the security guard says 'Aww did you? What's she like?'
And Little Kev says 'Big cocks and Vodka.'

Why did Hitler commit suicide?
His gasbill came in
*controversial*

How long does it take to open a beer?
It should be open by the time she brings it to you

[Dinosaur]

Ok, long joke.... *deep breath*

One day, a hippy and a nun were on a bus. the hippy goes up to the nun and says "wow yo
u're hot! wanna have sex with me?" the nun is quite offended and gets off the bus insisting to walk the rest of the way.

When the hippy is away to get off the bus the bus driver says "hey, I know how to have sex with that nun! every day she prays out in the garden of the monastery. If you go out stating that you are the will of god and demand to have sex, she will!"

So the hippy-with-a-plan leaves to go to the monastery. He hides in a bush waiting for the nun and right enough, out she comes. The hippy jumps out while she is praying "I AM THE WILL OF GOD AND I DEMAND YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME!" the nun, not wanting to disobey god agrees but asks for it up the bum so that she can remain a virgin. after the hippy is done he shouts "HAHA IT'S ME THE HIPPY FROM THE BUS!!" then the nun removed her head-dress and shouts "HAHA! ITS ME THE BUS DRIVER!!"