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Old 21-07-2005, 09:23   #1 (permalink)

 
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Grin Darwin Awards 2005

A laugh and worth a read....was for me anyway

I recieved these in an email.(All true stories)


1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.....

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerlandlost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
ts men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount
of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at
you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansasguy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New Yorkconvenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Old 21-07-2005, 09:29   #2 (permalink)
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I thought Darwin Awards were all about ironic and stupid deaths, rather than amusing circumstances?
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Old 21-07-2005, 09:48   #3 (permalink)

 
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Nae sure man, First time ive heard of it!
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Old 21-07-2005, 12:02   #4 (permalink)

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tv tanned
I thought Darwin Awards were all about ironic and stupid deaths, rather than amusing circumstances?
It is
Quote:
The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome
by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways.
Of necessity, this honor is generally bestowed posthumously.
taken from the front page of www.darwinawards.com, that email sounds like it's just dumb luck still funny though.
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