Tale of the Damned Monster.
One day there was this guy walking down the street. His name was Tom. Tom walked for hours and hours. Finally he saw it; Tom saw what he was looking for. It was beautiful. He saw a treasure chest in a bush at the park. Tom walked over to the treasure chest. Tom opened the treasure chest, and found twenty-one glass eyes, and a stuffed squirrel. "Oh" exclaimed Tom "what an odd squirrel. It's gray.." said Tom, because the squirrel was gray. Tom tried to find some corn for the squirrel. Squirrels like corn. Corn was Tom's favorite food. Sometimes Tom buys corn just to eat it with a fork. Tom also likes to eat cranberry sauce. But if he eats too much, like a whole can in one sitting, Tom gets diarrhea. There's nothing wrong with having diarrhea too often. Sometimes people laugh at you, but you can ignore them.
Poor Tom, he couldn't find any corn for the squirrel. Tom didn't realize that the squirrel was dead. Tom rubbed the belly of the squirrel with his thumb, and suddenly the squirrel came to life. The squirrel was surprised to see Tom. He didn't know where he was, or what he was doing in Tom's hands. Then the squirrel leaped to Tom's neck and started gnawing on it! It was a horrible site. Gallons of blood spilled everywhere. But Tom was no ordinary person. He was really a robot, and it wasn't blood flowing from his neck, but molten lava. The squirrel burned to a crisp, and then Tom ate it. The squirrel was rubbery, and made squashy noises as Tom chewed on it. It tasted like barf. Tom felt sick.
While Tom was finishing off his squirrel, some crazy animal rights activists ran over and started beating Toms head in with a metre stick, screaming "Damn you Tom! Damn you to hell!". Tom threw up the squirrel all over the animal rights activists. There were chunks everywhere. People were screaming and running away, when suddenly Tom had an idea. He could go become a pirate. Pirates lived on huge ships made of wood. But there was a problem. Tom suffered from a rare disease that made his ears explode when he burped too loud. Being out at sea makes Tom burp. So Tom went anyway, and he burped too loud. Tom's ears exploded. The captain of the ship ran over to Tom to help him, but burned his hands off when he touched the lava pouring out of Tom's ears. The lava burned right through the bottom of the ship, causing the ship to sink and everyone aboard to die. END
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13-07-2005, 10:37
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